


Hail to the Queen

by ofamaranthlie



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, BAMF!Loki, Jotun!Loki, M/M, Marriage, Mpreg, Sexism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-25
Updated: 2014-03-08
Packaged: 2017-11-17 01:20:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 50,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofamaranthlie/pseuds/ofamaranthlie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki marries Thor and becomes Queen of Asgard, but queens do not possess much power in Asgardian society.  Loki decides to change that.  De-anoning from a norsekink prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Loki prided himself on his ability to get what he wanted. Such could be expected from a prince, but Loki would scoff at the notion that his royal blood was the cause of his personal victories. No, Loki achieved so much because he pursued what he wanted to the fullest extent he could, and then some.

And when a handsome Asgardian prince named Thor visited his kingdom on one fateful evening, Loki _wanted_.

From their first encounter, the mutual attraction was undeniable, and that led to heavy conversations that led to heavy touching; long, heated nights of raw passion, with their bodies so closely entwined that it was nearly impossible to tell where one of them began and the other ended. A whirlwind romance with enough sparks to outshine the stars themselves, Thor and Loki became tangled together in a web that could not be undone, even when Thor reluctantly returned to Asgard far too soon for Loki’s liking.

Thus, he decided to take matters into his own hands.

Not a week later, Loki brought forth the proposal of a marriage to Thor in order to achieve mutual benefits: Loki and Thor could be together, and peace would exist between the two kingdoms. Thor’s ascension to the throne in Asgard would take place in a month’s time, and what better coronation than one with a diplomatic marriage? And yes, maybe marriage seemed a bit hasty, but Loki had never been so captivated with another before, and he would not stand to have Thor slip away from him. It took much convincing, but after several arguments with both the Jotun and Asgardians, both parties agreed – as long as Thor was willing as well.

Though Loki was used to getting his way, nothing he achieved before even came close to how he felt when he saw the way Thor’s face beamed in the widest smile when learning about Loki’s plans.

The only thing sweeter than seeing Thor’s smile was hearing him accept the wedding proposal, and sealing the deal with a kiss.

\--

The wedding was glamorous, as expected. No expenses were spared to prepare Asgard’s court for the historic event: lavish decorations covered the court, the best food was prepared, and all the guests seemed to simply shine as they watched the splendid event unfold. 

Standing at Thor’s side, Loki found himself smiling elegantly in front of a seemingly endless crowd of faces – his _subjects_ – with a swell of pride. But nothing made him surer of himself than when Thor slid an arm around his waist and gave his hip an affectionate squeeze.

Beside Thor, Loki stood even taller, his smile broadening as he rested his hand atop Thor’s as the new Queen of Asgard. 

-

Marrying Thor had been the logical thing to do in Loki’s mind. He wanted Thor, Thor wanted him, they were both going to be kings one day – it made sense.

But in retrospect, perhaps before agreeing to be the queen of a foreign kingdom, he should have researched their culture more.

At first, Loki believed that the residents of Asgard gave him peculiar looks whenever he walked during the palace in morning because it was so early, and a newlywed queen wouldn’t be likely to rise early. But the more that they stared in surprise, the more he questioned whether that was truly their mindset, or if there was something he was missing.

On one particular morning, he received the answer.

An important meeting would soon begin in one of the main rooms, in which members of the Asgardian cabinet would discuss the details of their next diplomatic move with Jotenheim. Loki strode down the hall at a brisk pace, eager for the discussions that would come. He had so many ideas and plans for the two kingdoms, plans that he had been concocting ever since Thor accepted the marriage proposal, and he was itching to share them. Not only was it a topic of personal interest, but Loki yearned to utilize his tactician skills for political purposes once more. He smiled to himself as he walked, mischievous and holding a silent promise. All of Asgard would see the grand things he was capable of doing.

Just as he approached the door, two guards standing by stepped forward, their brows furrowed.

“Your Highness, what brings you here?” one asked.

Loki stopped in front of them, caught off-guard by the question. For a moment, he simply stared at the two guards as if the answer to that question was the most obvious one on the planet – which, to Loki, it was.

“I’m here for the meeting,” he said slowly, and gods, were all of Asgard’s people so strange?

The guards exchanged a look, and Loki found his patience thinning.

“Your Highness,” the second guard said, “we cannot permit you entry.”

Eyes narrowed, Loki took a step forward, and he did not miss the way that the guards stiffened. “Excuse me? I am Queen of Asgard. I have every right to take part in the meeting.”

One of the guards chuckled, but a poisonous glare from Loki caused the laugher to cut off immediately. Loki’s gaze darted between the two men, daring them to challenge his title.

At last, one guard sighed. “That is exactly the problem, Your Highness. You are Queen. Queens do not take part in political meetings.”

There was a long, long silence as Loki tried to digest that information. 

“You mean,” Loki said after a moment, voice low, “that I am to sit idly by and file my nails while issues of utmost importance regarding my kingdom with Thor are discussed?”

The second guard shrugged. “If you desire, Your Highness.”

Anger flooded his veins, and his expression must have been equally livid, given the way that the guards looked rather nervous as he stared them down.

“Our apologies, Your H-“

“Thor,” Loki said, cutting off the guard. “Thor is already in there, is he not? He will not stand for this appalling treatment. Let me speak with him.”

“I’m afraid we cannot do that. We do apologize.” 

The guards bowed in unison, but Loki turned from them with a frustrated growl, storming away from the scene before he could hear the guards say anything else insulting. How _dare_ they not allow him to participate? Was the role of Queen not good enough in Asgard? Was it because queens were women – or because they usually were not Jotun? 

He slammed the door to his room behind him, and the defiant sound echoed down the hallway.

 

\--

“Your people do not respect me.”

Loki stood in front of the window in chambers with Thor, his back to the king as he scowled out at the night, as if it was the fault of the dark sky that he had been humiliated.

“What makes you say this? Of course they respect you, Loki,” Thor said, and Loki could hear him padding to his side.

“Then why was I not permitted to attend today’s meeting?” Loki spat, sending an accusatory glance Thor’s way.

Thor paused, and Loki could see the conflicting emotions in those blue eyes, torn between being truthful and appeasing Loki.

“In Asgard, queens are widely respected amongst the people. They respect you as much as they respect me. But though the levels of respect we receive are equal, our duties differ. Queens do not take part in the political process here,” Thor explained.

Loki gave a short, derisive laugh in disbelief. “So, Asgard deprives its women of political power? How backwards and absurd.”

“Is it not that way in Jotunheim?” Thor asked.

A ghost of a smile found its way onto Loki’s face for a moment. “Jotun are intersexed. We do not have the same concepts of gender as you do. All are equal in that manner, and their duties do not differ. The most capable, the wisest, are the ones who lead, regardless of their gender identity.”

Thor hummed at that as he moved behind Loki, entwining his arms around his waist to bring Loki close. His lips brushed across Loki’s neck in a soft, affectionate kiss, and Loki barely resisted a shudder at the way Thor’s warm breath tickled his skin.

“You are still the wisest individual I know,” Thor murmured into Loki’s skin. 

Loki leaned into Thor’s embrace, a soft sigh escaping his lips. “You flatter me.”

Thor kissed Loki’s neck harder, nipping at the skin until Loki gasped. “I can do more than flatter you,” Thor said, voice laced with a dark promise.

Turning in Thor’s grasp, Loki could see the desire in Thor’s eyes, and the heated expression was enough for him to temporarily put aside his anger at Asgardian society in favor of something much more satisfying.

“Can you now, my king?” Loki purred, arching into Thor’s hands as they roved over his back, kneading the slight muscle beneath his clothes.

“Indeed, if my queen would like.”

Loki laughed, a soft, genuine sound as he entangled his fingers in Thor’s hair and pressed their bodies together, close enough for their clothed erections to touch. Both shuddered at the jolt of pleasure that rippled through their bodies, and Loki’s fingers tightened in Thor’s hair with enough pressure to hurt, though Thor did not complain.

“Show me, then,” Loki said, voice barely above a whisper.

Thor cupped Loki’s cheek with one hand, his thumb softly caressing the skin before he closed the remaining space between them with a kiss. Loki quietly sighed in delight and used his hold on Thor’s hair to deepen the kiss by pulling him closer, almost desperately so. Thor responded in kind, his arm tightening around Loki as their lips parted, allowing their tongues to languidly brush together in a slow, sensual dance that left Loki groaning into Thor’s mouth, wanting more.

Unwilling to break the kiss, they blindly shuffled toward the bed together in shaky, feverish movements. Thor ended up bumping into the bed with a little more force than intended, causing him to jerk forward to retain his balance, and Loki laughed against Thor’s lips, eyes murky with lust and mirth. Thor grinned in spite of himself before leaning in to recapture Loki’s lips in another deep kiss, and the laughter turned into a soft moan in appreciation. Their hands dropped to their sides before coming together, fingers entwining as Loki lowered himself to the bed, bringing Thor on top of him.

They parted just a fraction as Thor sprawled atop Loki, their fingers still entwined as Loki arched into Thor’s body, desiring as much contact as possible. Thor chuckled at Loki’s eagerness, which quickly contorted into a choked sound as Loki pressed their hips together in one swift, liquid movement.

“I want to feel you,” Loki murmured, eyes locked on Thor’s half-lidded gaze. 

Thor did not respond, but actions spoke louder than words as he leaned down for another kiss, hips bearing down on Loki’s in measured, tantalizing movements until Loki was left keening, nails digging into the back of Thor’s hands. They kissed and moved together until they were left breathless, both achingly hard and needing to be so much closer.

The kiss was broken just long enough for Thor to pull back and sit up, his hands making fast work of removing his garments; Loki rose and followed suit, wanting to be able to touch Thor and be touched in return without the boundaries posed by clothing. Once all articles of clothing were haphazardly cast off the bed, Thor leaned over Loki again until their erections could finally touch. Loki groaned and jolted beneath Thor, who buried his face in the pale of Loki’s neck to muffle his own pleasured sound. 

They rutted together until the teasing became unbearable. Loki held onto Thor’s arms in a firm grasp, and when he squeezed hard enough that his nails were ready to draw blood, Thor knew that he was close, so close. He pulled away, ignoring the whine that Loki gave in response in favor of retrieving oil from a bedside table. Loki watched in anticipation as Thor placed a gratuitous amount of oil on his fingers, and with a shudder, Loki parted his legs wide, completely revealing himself to Thor. The motion did not go unnoticed, and Thor seemed to temporarily forget his purpose as he took in the sight of Loki splayed out before him. Only when Loki grunted and gave a pointed jerk of his hips did Thor blink out of his stupor, offering a quick grin before sliding his fingers beneath Loki. 

As one finger pressed into his entrance, Loki bit back a sound of discomfort as he shifted just slightly, trying to force his body to relax. Sensing Loki’s uneasiness, Thor used his free hand to gently trace circles on Loki’s inner thigh, trying to soothe him. A second finger was added, and the twinge of pain gradually faded as Thor carefully swirled his fingers around. Inclining his head back into the pillows with a breathy moan, Loki gave Thor a quick nod to signal that he was ready. Thor withdrew his fingers and poured more oil onto his hand, which was used to slick his cock in a few quick strokes. As Thor prowled forward once more, Loki wrapped his legs around Thor’s waist to bring them close together, and a soft gasp escaped him as his leaking cock slid against Thor’s stomach. Once in place, Thor eased his cock into Loki’s entrance in a slow push of his hips until he was buried deep inside his lover, leaving both groaning lowly at the heat. 

They started slow, unhurried, taking their time to enjoy one another and the pleasure of their coupling. Grasping onto Thor’s arms once more for leverage, Loki moved in time with the rhythm of Thor’s thrusts, his head tilted back and eyes half-closed as he allowed the waves of pleasure to overtake him. As the pace began to build, Loki squirmed beneath Thor and shamelessly moaned beneath him, his heels digging into the small of Thor’s back when Thor’s thrusts hit just the right spot. The room became filled with the sounds of their heavy breathing and flesh upon flesh as Thor maintained a deliberate, deep speed, his head bowed and face nearly concealed in a curtain of sweat-soaked hair. 

Arms trembling, Loki relinquished his hold on Thor in favor of grasping at the sheets in a desperate movement until his knuckles went white. He was so close, each thrust bringing him nearer and nearer to the edge of orgasm, leaving him unable to think as he mindlessly pushed against Thor in an effort to bring them both to release. Thor took hold of Loki’s cock in one slick hand and jerked _fast_ , which was all the push that Loki needed. Eyes squeezed shut, he nearly screamed as he came hard at last, covering Thor’s hands in a few deep spurts. With a few hard, final thrusts, Thor came as well with a low, satisfied groan.

They untangled from each other slowly, Thor coming to a rest at Loki’s side as they both caught their breath. Loki opened his eyes at last and turned to face the worn out, content face of Thor, and Loki was unable to bite back a tired smile at Thor’s disheveled, but pleased, expression.

Thor drifted off to sleep not long after, but Loki remained awake, the scene from earlier in the day replaying in his mind once more. Loki was not used to being cast aside so easily, not when he knew that he could bring something valuable to the table. Something would have to be done about that.

Loki was used to getting his way, social norms be damned. Asgard had no idea what it was in for.


	2. Chapter Two

Sometimes, the biggest changes started with the smallest beginnings. Thus, instead of parading around the castle and fussing about Asgard’s nonsensical laws, Loki did absolutely nothing but watch; watch the Asgardians, see how they interacted with one another, observe how they treated him and what they expected of him as their queen. Recon may not have been the most exciting of work, but a truly cunning tactician would not overlook the importance of gaining valuable information in the surroundings first.

Loki went about his days perusing the castle halls and rooms, maintaining a dignified, cool expression as the residents greeted him. He flashed the most charming and polite smile that he could manage in return, and he had to bite back his tongue at some of the comments he received.

“My Queen, should you not be in your chambers?”

“It is windy out today, Your Majesty! You should stay inside, lest your beautiful hair becomes tangled.”

“Oh Your Majesty, can we expect an heir soon?”

And Loki would just laugh airily, offering a vague, trite response fitting of royalty. But in the inside, he wanted to scream. Was that all he was expected to do as a queen? Primp in the mirror, be Thor’s armcandy around the castle, and pop out a child to be heir to the throne? 

When he could no longer conceal his outrage, Loki excused himself to his chambers. Closing the door behind him, his false smile slipped away as he let the reality of the situation hit him.

Beauty. Lover. Child-bearer. Thor did not lie when he said that their duties were far different, regardless of their equal levels of respect.

Leaning against the door to his room, Loki found himself laughing again, a breathless, delirious sound that shook his body until his ribs hurt. There was so much that he could teach Asgard, so much that he could contribute. But matters were much worse than he originally believed.

He tilted his head back against the door, a spark igniting in his half-closed eyes. This would take more work than he planned; a good thing that he loved challenges, though this one might have been his biggest one yet.

Loki smiled, genuine and wicked.

Tomorrow would start Day One.

~~

Changing Asgardian laws would require more than the effort of one individual, regardless of how ambitious and determined Loki was when facing a challenge. If Loki wanted to win this game, he knew he would need to gain allies. And in a world where the people appeared to be set in their ways, he would have to choose his potential allies carefully.

He prowled down the hallways like a lion on the hunt, gaze darting this way and that as he sought out worthy residents. Some Asgardians would double take when noticing their Queen’s scrutiny, but Loki just smiled, wishing them a pleasant morning as he continued on his way.

The near frantic wandering led him outside, near the field where the warriors trained. Sure enough, a large congregation already gathered, practicing and testing their skills in the cool, early morning air. Loki paused outside the perimeter of the field, glancing from one warrior to the next as they sparred. The sharp clang of metal colliding rang in the air, and the high energy that permeated the area made even Loki anxious. He shifted on his feet, tongue briefly sliding against his bottom lip. He missed practicing his magic in Jotunheim; but somehow, he doubted that the Asgardians would appreciate the fine art of magic as he did.

So engrossed in their training, none noticed his presence until the battles came to an end. One wiped his sweaty brow with a calloused hand before calling out, “Good morning, Your Highness!”

His fake smile was becoming too familiar for his tastes. “Good morning. I hope I did not interrupt you.”

A few men guffawed loudly at that, and Loki did his best not to grimace at the cacophony.

“No, we were just finishing up. I hope you found our performance satisfactory,” a second man said.

A burly man nudged the second man in the ribs. “Oh, stop trying to score points. The Queen has no say on the army, anyway.”

Loki’s smile took a chilly turn. No say on the army. Yet another aspect of Asgardian life restricted to him.

If the warriors noticed Loki’s icy expression, they did not show it. They began to file back toward the castle in one sweaty mob, discussing the highlights of today’s combat sessions. As Loki silently watched them leave, one of the warriors caught his eye. Amidst the sea of men was a woman, her face strong as she walked with her head held high. 

Intrigued, Loki approached one of the warriors, the burly one from earlier. “Who is the woman amongst you?”

“Ah, that is Lady Sif, Your Majesty. One of the finest warriors in all of Asgard,” the man said.

Loki dismissed the man with a nod of his head. He remained in the field long after the warriors left, a plan concocting in his mind.

Sif. He would remember that name.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much for the positive feedback, everyone! I'm truly flattered at the attention that this piece has received so far. :) The previous chapter was pretty short, so here's a longer one to make up for it. Hope you enjoy!

Loki rose early the next morning, carefully untangling himself from the still-asleep Thor’s arms. He dressed in near silence, trying to be as quiet as possible so he would not disturb Thor from his slumber. After a minute or so of attempting to fix his hair in front of a mirror with a scowl (why would his hair not _lay flat_ ), a sleepy voice caused his fingers to still.

“Loki?”

Fingers still in his hair, Loki did not turn to face Thor right away. Instead, he met Thor’s drowsy, half-lidded gaze in the mirror, keeping his expression as natural as possible. 

“Where are you going?” Thor mumbled, clearly confused as to why Loki would voluntarily rise so early. Loki cared little for the morning hours of the day, but today he pushed aside his displeasure in favor of attending to important matters.

At last, Loki turned to face Thor, and the sight of his lover prompted a slight smile to form on his face. Thor, surrounded by a sea of blankets, his hair wild and tangled like a lion’s mane, with a petulant frown on his face, like a child who did not wish to go to school. 

“There are affairs that require my attention. Nothing to cause alarm, so go back to sleep,” Loki said, unable to bite back a note of amusement at Thor’s haphazard appearance.

Thor murmured something unintelligible as he shifted in bed, his arm still outstretched as if hoping Loki would decide against his mission and come back to cuddle. The thought was enough for Loki to cross the room toward the bed, Thor’s eyes following his movements. Leaning down, Loki brushed aside a few strands of hair from Thor’s face, allowing their eyes to meet in a warm gaze.

“I’ll be back soon,” Loki promised, voice quiet.

“I am glad. The bed is too empty without you,” Thor admitted, words slurred from sleepiness.

Loki laughed softly at that and leaned in until their lips touched in a light, tender kiss. When he pulled back, he arched a brow and feigned an expression of minor disgust.

“You have dragon breath,” he teased before heading toward the door.

Thor made an affronted sound as he sprawled out in bed. “Because yours smells like roses.”

With another laugh, Loki waved over his shoulder and closed the door. 

~~

The Asgardian palace was far too large for its own good, Loki decided after twenty minutes of wandering the halls, lost. While he thought he made progress in regard to learning his surroundings, it would appear that he still had much to learn about the layout of his new home. Twenty fruitless minutes wasted in search of a library; he was beginning to question whether or not Asgard even contained a library in the first place.

Pride would not allow him to go out of his way to ask for directions. Luckily enough for his ego, a servant meandering down the hallway appeared to notice his irritation.

“Can I help you, Your Highness?”

Loki gave the young man a considering look, weighing his options. At last, he admitted defeat. “I seek a library.”

The servant looked taken aback, as if Loki asked for the nearest brothel instead of library. Lips tightened, gaze hardening on the servant with more force than he intended. If women and queens in Asgard were not allowed to even _read_ , then, gods help him, he was going to lose it.

Finally, the servant gave a curt nod of his head. “Right this way, Your Highness.”

Loki followed the servant wordlessly down the seemingly endless hallways, making a conscious note of the route they took, knowing that many long days and nights would be spent in the library in the future, mission or not. Surrounded by books, by knowledge, provided Loki with a comfort that he could not readily describe, and a wave of excitement washed over him in anticipation of seeing what kind of books Asgard held within its walls. 

They paused in front of large, marble doors, which the servant opened and held for Loki. “Is there anything else I can assist you with?”

The question nearly went unheard. Loki’s attention was claimed by the rows upon rows of books that filled the spacious room – more books in one place than Loki had ever seen in his life.

“That will be all,” he breathed at last.

~~

The overwhelming number of books nearly caused Loki to forget his original purpose. He wanted to examine all of the books at once and read as much as he could. A defiant voice in his mind kept him restrained, for now. Reading for personal entertainment would have to wait for a later date. 

Though, he did wander through the rows of bookshelves long enough to find the books that he sought. Once he located the correct section, he tilted his head just a tad to read the titles, many of which had long since faded. After a moment, he selected several old, worn out books with care before padding to a nearby chair, allowing himself to get comfy as he picked up the first book. He brushed the dust off the cover in movements that almost seemed tender before he opened the cover, turning to the first page. 

All sense of time was lost upon Loki as he read through the books, learning the history of Asgard both in sense of events and customs. The stories became familiar: the tales of valiant bravery, of the men who lived to die a short, brutal death, the nobility of the art of war and the glory of Valhalla. 

The stories, the accomplishments, the glory, of _men_.

Closing the third book of the day, Loki rubbed his sore eyes with an aggravated sigh. 

Adjusting the laws of Asgard was one thing, but changing a society from the ground up?

Loki slouched in his seat, his head tipping back as his eyes closed. 

“Oh, Thor,” Loki sighed again. “What did I marry into?”

~~

With his worst suspicions confirmed, Loki set the next part of his plan in motion immediately. After leaving the library, Loki immediately strolled through the hallways with a determined gleam in his eye. This time, he actively searched for the help of a servant or other resident in the hallway, needing very specific directions.

As fate would have it, the first resident that Loki came across was the burly warrior from the previous morning. 

“Sir,” Loki greeted, for a lack of name.

The man paused, a grin crossing his face as he politely bowed. “Ah, Your Majesty! Please, call me Volstagg.” 

A thin smiled curled on his lips. “Volstagg, then. Would you happen to know where Sif’s chambers are located?” 

“Aye, but I am afraid it will do you no good. She’s not there,” Volstagg said.

Loki’s smile turned into a slight frown. “Oh?”

Volstagg shrugged his broad shoulders. “She trains early in the morning with us, and then goes to practice on her own. I know not where.”

Loki hummed at that piece of knowledge. Sif’s dedication to training was admirable, if not complicating his plans. “I see. Thank you, anyway." 

Volstagg laughed that deep laugh again. “If I see her, I’ll send her your way, My Queen.”

“My regards,” Loki murmured before padding down the hallway again.

~~

Trying to find Sif was more difficult than it should have been. No matter how many people Loki asked, no one seemed to know where she had gone for training this morning. They all suggested the same thing: wait until the afternoon when she returned to bathe. And so, Loki did. He received the location of her chambers from one of the servants for future reference, and spent the rest of the morning back in the library with a few pieces of fruit he snagged from a kitchen. Loki passed the time by thumbing through the books again while eating, looking for any important details that he might have missed the first time around.

Just as the stories were predominately about men, Loki noted that the books hardly mentioned powerful female warriors. Interesting.

When a few hours rolled by, Loki exited the library and made his way to Sif’s chambers. His mind was abuzz with thoughts, his movements quick and betraying how much he was looking forward to the upcoming conversation. Hopefully she would be there, as the residents said; to wait a few more hours sounded like hell in the face of the adrenaline he was building.

Once he located the correct door, he knocked on it three times and paused, trying to hear any motion from inside. A few seconds later, he could hear the soft padding of feet, and then the door opened. Sif’s hair was still damp, hinting that he caught her not too long after her bath. Surprise colored her face for a moment as she met Loki’s gaze, but she smoothed out her expression in the bat of an eye. 

“Lady Sif,” Loki greeted. “May I come in?" 

Sif’s eyesbrows briefly furrowed in another show of confusion, but she stepped aside with a bow of her head, allowing Loki to enter. “Your Highness,” she returned.

The door was closed behind them, and Loki allowed his gaze to leisurely dance about her room as she spoke up again. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” 

A thoughtful smile crossed his face as he turned his attention back to her, his head tilting just a fraction in consideration. “You are a difficult woman to track down, you know.”

Something in the air changed – Loki could practically feel Sif grow tense; so, she thought she was in trouble, hmm? 

“I apologize, Your Majesty. I did not know you were seeking me,” Sif admitted.

A soft chuckle rumbled in Loki, and the sound seemed to surprise Sif, though she loosened up some. “You think I say that in admonishment? No, quite the contrary,” Loki corrected, and he turned to fully face Sif, something close to reverent curiosity touching his eyes. “You show a dedication to training that is nearly unheard of, and it pays off. I saw you training with the group yesterday, and your skills are commendable. Beyond that, even." 

The compliment caused Sif’s lips to twitch in the beginnings of a smile. “Thank you. You are kind to say so.”

Loki shrugged slightly at that. “I say that out of honesty, not kindness.” And it was true. Loki was not here to stroke egos; he was here to make sure that credit was received where it was due, and to see if Sif felt the same.

Something shifted in Sif’s eyes, which Loki took to mean suspicion. He could not blame her. The two had never been formally introduced before, and now he was in her private quarters, speaking about her talents on the battlefield. To try to put a rest to her unease, Loki offered a slight smile. Sif’s expression remained neutral, if not guarded. She was not to be won over with a smile like the rest of the residents of Asgard; Loki liked her already.

“Lady Sif, given your accomplishments on the battlefield, I only assume that Asgard would have rewarded you with a…promotion of sort.” Though he did not present those words as a question, it was clear by his tone and the way he looked at her that he wanted her to challenge him, to either affirm or deny what he said.

Sif smiled again, and Loki did not miss the bitter edge to the expression. “I am rewarded with Asgard’s safety and the gratitude of her people.”

“I do not speak of intangible rewards,” Loki said immediately, and Sif’s eyes were sharp on him, and he partly expected his skin to break beneath such a pointed gaze. “You possess more skill in the art of war than most of the men here combined. Surely they have granted you something in return.”

Only when he noticed the strange look on Sif’s face did Loki realize that his words came out more heated than he intended, and his fist was clenched so tight that half-moon indentions would be left on his palm for some time. It took all of his self-discipline to unclench his hand. Sif’s expression lost its spiked edge, realization dawning on her. This conversation was not just about Sif herself; Loki’s tone and actions betrayed his own personal interest in the topic.

“No,” she said, that one word thick. Loki bit the inside of his cheek to keep back an angry sound, but he could not stop his fist from re-clenching.

“Why?” he asked, a murmur. He did not trust himself to speak louder.

Fire filled Sif’s eyes as her lips twisted unpleasantly. “I proved my worth in battle to Asgard long ago, so I am allowed in the main army, but only just. Asgard still views me as a woman before a warrior. Thus, I am not entitled to the promotions, as you put it, that the male warriors can receive.”

His fears confirmed, Loki took a moment to let that sink in as he studied her defiant expression. The years of bitterness and anger were now revealed on her face, raw and ugly. But she still held her head high, and the inner strength that he knew she had to possess is what made Loki take a step closer, baring his teeth in a dangerous smile.

“What if I said I could change that?” he said, eyes alight with the fire of his ambitions.

“I would call you a liar, if Your Majesty would allow it,” she replied easily, a thin brow arched. “That decision lies with the King and his council." 

Loki’s smile broadened in deadly promise. “I will change that, too.”

Silence filled the room as they regarded one another again. Sif stared at him as if he was half-mad or expecting him to say that it was all a joke or silly fantasy. Loki could not prove that the first was untrue, but when he did not rescind his offer, Sif spoke again.

“You’re serious,” she said slowly, needing the confirmation. 

“Indeed. It will take time and work, but I fully intend on changing things in regard to women and the power of a queen. But,” he said, and that word caused Sif to arch a brow again. Loki exhaled slowly, never breaking eye contact. “I cannot do this alone." 

The admission was heavy and not one that he gave easily. Sif must have noticed that, as she did not dismiss his words right away. Instead, she finally broke eye contact with a soft sound as she weighed her options. Loki remained silent, allowing her time to consider all that he said.

A minute passed before she looked back at him.

“Even if you succeed, even if you change laws to grant women and yourself more freedom, your battle will not stop there,” she warned. “It will take more than the changing of laws to change the opinions of Asgardians. They won’t accept women with more power simply because of a law.”

“Discrimination is ingrained in their mindset,” Loki said, and Sif nodded. 

“Even so.” Sif lifted her head again, and when she smiled this time, it was a mirror of his own – ambitious and cunning and beautiful. “I will assist you in any way I can, Your Highness.”

Loki’s wicked smile broadened and Sif’s followed suit, cementing a bond of alliance between the two. 

~~

The gardens were especially beautiful on this evening. That might have been a bit of bias on Loki’s part, given that he was left in an uncommonly good mood since he left Sif some hours ago. With one ally to count on, his plans could truly be set into motion, and he could not wait to see how they would unfold. 

But for now, he tucked away such thoughts in order to enjoy the present moment.

Loki and Thor strolled through the gardens at a leisurely pace, with Thor’s arm around Loki’s waist as they enjoyed both the sights and the company. It was nice to spend time with Thor after being busy all day, and the familiar weight and heat of Thor’s hand was a comfort as they exchanged stories of the day.

“He fell right off the horse and into the river, the poor fool,” Thor said, recounting an incident of a guard who thought it would be a good idea to try riding his horse while extremely drunk. The mental image coaxed an easy laugh out of Loki as he leaned against Thor, who returned the affection with a light kiss to the side of Loki’s head.

They came to a pause in front of a grand fountain in the middle of the garden, a comfortable silence falling between them. Simply being near one another in total silence was just an enjoyable as conversing, and Loki soaked in the serenity of the moment.

Thor turned to Loki some time later, a question in his eyes. “You must have been busy today. This is the first time I’ve seen you since the morning. What affairs have kept you so occupied?”

The question is spoken out of innocent curiosity, no sign of demand. The decision is left to Loki to share his schemes if he chose to. And while he knew that he should enlighten Thor about his mission, he found himself unable to at the moment for reasons he could not explain.

“Nothing of importance,” he replied, gaze not leaving the fountain.

Thor did not push the issue, but Loki could tell that Thor sensed the lie in his words. Perhaps Loki would share his plans with Thor eventually, perhaps even soon. But for now, he kept his secrets as they watched the water dance in the fountain, free and powerful.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry for the delay in updates. Real life has been taking its toll, which means that updates may not come as often as I'd like. But I will not abandon this fic! I have too many plans for it. :) So I apologize if updates may be slow at times, but they will definitely come, I promise. I'm continuously amazed and thankful for all of the positive support this fic has been receiving. <3 Thank you so much everyone!

The days that followed were filled with a sense of growing anticipation as Loki prepared to unveil his plan. All the plotting and scheming left him a tad anxious, and it took a great deal of self-control to keep himself from simply stomping into the court and demanding that Asgard get with the times _or else_. But no, he could not be hasty, especially since so much was riding on his plan with Sif. A victory would give him a foot in the door, which was all that he needed to further infiltrate the Asgardian system. Should he fail, it would be quite difficult to ever gain influence. Still, Loki was optimistic. Even as he walked down the Asgardian hallways, a sly smile perpetually curled on his lips from the secrets he held.

When he was not attending to his royal duties (which mostly revolved around walking the palace grounds, gracing everyone with his presence), Loki was off on his own, preparing his case. Many long nights were spent in the gigantic library, flipping through dusty history books that had not been touched in ages in hopes of finding something to aid his cause. His previous ventures in the library proved that military history would offer him no favors, but perhaps books about general history would result in a more favorable outcome. Given how many books were in the library, searching through the books became tedious very fast. Loki found himself taking his meals (and the occasional nap) in the library more often than not. 

For all of his erratic behavior, Thor never questioned Loki when he at last returned to their bed, nearly delirious from a lack of sleep and an overload of information. Thor would just curl an arm around the collapsed heap of his Queen, pulling Loki close as they both drifted off together. It was the little things about their relationship, like Thor’s acceptance and even fondness for Loki’s quirks, that Loki cherished the most.

~~

“I’m making progress, you know,” Loki said, tossing Sif an apple from the bowl of fruit he stole from the kitchen.

Seated on her bed, Sif caught the apple with one hand, her eyes never leaving Loki as he restlessly paced around her quarters like a tiger in a cage. It had become a habit of his to drop by Sif’s every now and then when he needed a break from his research. If his unannounced visits bothered Sif, she never mentioned it; she simply opened the door to him and listened to whatever he wanted to talk or rant about on the given evening. The fact that he usually came bearing food or some other gift certainly did not hurt, either.

“Oh?” she prompted before taking a bite from her apple.

“Indeed. Pouring over books all day and night seems to have its rewards. Though, I must say, the Asgardian tendency to ignore detail except in the case of war stories, which all have an absurd amount of detail, is irritating and unhelpful,” Loki said with a sniff.

Sif smirked at Loki’s obvious disdain. “We pride ourselves on our military accomplishments.”

“Oh yes, Asgard makes its priorities very clear,” Loki said, trying to mask his contempt.

He must not have done a very good job, as Sif leaned forward, her eyes narrowed in thought. “Are you unhappy in Asgard, Your Highness?”

The inquiry caused Loki to cease his pacing. He had not expected that question, but now he gave it some thought. Affirming would make it seem like he regretted his decision to marry Thor, which was the furthest from the truth. But disagreeing would contradict his entire mission in the first place.

Loki turned to Sif after a moment’s thought, a sad little smile crossing his face. “Unhappy, maybe, if only because I am disappointed that Asgard has allowed itself to be archaic and stagnant for so long.”

Sif’s eyes narrowed again, her next words venomous, “ _Allowed_ itself? Do you think a few others and I have sat idle all these years? Do you not think that we tried?”

Having unintentionally struck a nerve, Loki paused. He needed to choose his next words carefully so he would not further upset the warrior before him; even her glares seemed deadly.

“I do not think that. Not for a minute,” he said at last, padding across the room to sit beside Sif on her bed. He offered her a slight smile, a gesture of apology. “You are no damsel in distress, Lady Sif, and I mean you and your past attempts no insult. I want to help you, not undermine you.”

Sif leveled Loki a heavy look, and Loki calmly met her fiery stare, keeping his expression honest and open. He did not want her to think that she was weak, or that she could only be capable with the help of a man.

The anger in her gaze dissipated, but she did not break eye contact. “Do you really think this is possible?” Her voice was a murmur, as if she did not dare voice such doubts louder. Loki’s smile only widened as he clasped a hand on her shoulder.

“We’ll find out soon.”

~~

Days melded together, sunrises and sunsets becoming one and the same as Loki toiled away in the library. His eyes became strained from looking at too many books with too-small handwriting, and his fingers cramped from writing excessively. Some days he did nothing but stare out the grimy window and wonder if his efforts would be in vain. While his pride would never allow him to confess that he was nervous, he could reluctantly admit that that he was not feeling his most confident. Loki was so accustomed to success that he did not have time to doubt himself, but never before had getting what he wanted been such a difficult task. He was playing in a court far away from his own, with rules he could not begin to understand. All odds were against him, and it would take more than smooth words to achieve his desires this time.

He found it increasingly difficult to plaster a smile on his face when residents spoke with him in the hallways. One even asked why he seemed ‘twitchy’. The cold expression he leered on the man was enough to stop other residents from further prying. Others would still whisper about the elusive Queen and what he might be doing in the library for so long. Some chalked it up to an oddity of the Jotun. Others were not so kind. Loki turned a deaf ear to the residents and continued on.

They would see things his way sooner or later. He would make sure of it.

~~~

Some days, Sif’s question about the probability of failure played out in his mind like a record on loop. Some days, he was inclined to agree with her with doubt.

On one such morning when his confidence began to slip, he found himself wandering out to the training field. A group of warriors were already in the middle of a spar, practicing with some of the largest swords that Loki had ever seen. He barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes, because were swords of that size really necessary? Overcompensating for something, clearly. And yet, despite the immense size of the weapons, the warriors wielded them with a subtle grace that Loki found intriguing to watch. They had far more refinement than Loki would have expected from a group of burly beings, their bodies moving to the beat of a war drum that Loki could not hear.

And at the head of this hypnotic dance was Sif.

She wove between her two sparring partners with ease, looking right at home on the battlefield. The spar continued this way for another few minutes before one of the men, a blond fellow, proclaimed his surrender. The battle and a few others came to a close then, and the warriors gathered together, breathing heavy and commenting on one another’s performance. Once again, Sif was near the forefront of the conversation: talking, joking with the others, and giving compliments where they were due. The male warriors listened intently to her, clearly valuing her words and praise.

They respected her. Valued her.

The military could be on his and Sif’s side too, it would seem. And in that moment, Loki’s hope renewed.

~~~

The night before the big day, sleep evaded Loki. Resisting the urge to toss and turn, Loki instead spent a good portion of the night staring at the ceiling, envisioning the different scenarios that he might face tomorrow. No matter how many times he closed his eyes and tried to will his body to sleep, his mind remained alert, spewing images of imaginary confrontations one after another. With a soft sound in defeat, Loki threw the blankets off of him and slid out of bed as quietly as possible. He dressed himself in silence, careful not to disturb the sleeping lump that was Thor, before leaving.

Aside from a few guards, the castle was nearly empty at this time at night, and Loki was quick to wave off their questions of concern and if he required an escort. When he assured a pair of guards that he was quite fine on his own, they frowned in a way that Loki did not like at all. He walked away without another word. The guards did not stop him.

The air outside was crisp and cool, and for the briefest of moments, Loki missed Jotunheim. The frozen land was comforting in ways that no Asgardian could understand, and though the majority of its residents were as cold and cruel as the environment they called home, things at least made some sense there. It was a fact that he was reluctant to admit. While Loki hailed from Jotunheim, he would hesitate to call it a true home. The word’s connotation was too open and warm. And yet, for all of his misgivings about the land of ice, it would seem that he did not appreciate some of the rights he once had.

If Laufey knew that his son entertained such thoughts, the man would probably mock him into oblivion or keel over from laughing at him so hard. Bastard.

Loki wandered through the gardens without purpose before finally settling onto a bench in front of a particularly spectacular flowerbed. His eyes closed with a soft sigh, and he allowed himself to drift into thought.

He did not know how much time passed before a voice broke the silence.

“I knew I’d find you here.”

Eyes still closed, Loki could not help but smile. Thor.

“Am I that predictable?” he asked, eyes opening as he turned to face Thor. His hair was a mess, tangled and wild in that way that Loki found charming, and traces of sleep could still be seen in his peaceful expression. 

“Only just,” Thor responded as he sat beside his queen. Loki hummed in acknowledgement, eyes closing again as he leaned against Thor, basking in his warmth and presence. Thor responded by wrapping an arm around Loki’s back to bring him closer, and Loki was more than content to nestle into Thor, nuzzling into his slightly knotted hair.

They sat curled against one another in a comfortable silence for some time before Thor spoke up again.

“I know you have been occupied with your affairs, and I will not pry, but I must ask if you are okay. This is not the first time I have noticed you unable to sleep.”

Loki’s skin prickled from guilt. Apparently he had not been as quiet and subtle as he originally thought. The last thing he wanted to do was cause Thor to worry. Pulling back from Thor just enough to face his concerned lover, Loki managed a tired smile.

“I am fine, but thank you for the concern.” And he truly meant it. It was sweet of Thor to be worried about Loki’s wellbeing, even despite Loki’s secretive behavior in the past few weeks. Still, Thor’s face remained concerned despite Loki’s reassurance. Thor could have pried, could have demanded that Loki stop being so flighty and suspicious – but he didn’t, and that made all the difference. Instead, he nodded and turned back to the garden before them as if the flowers themselves held answers.

Loki too turned to the flowers, and before he could stop himself, he found himself saying, “We didn’t have these in Jotunheim.”

Though he did not turn away from the flowers, he could feel the weight of Thor’s curious stare upon him. And thus, Loki elaborated in a soft voice, “The flowers. Gardens like these cannot flourish in the cold. Flowers like these require warmth, light, and care – everything that Jotunheim lacks. Perhaps that’s why I like them so much.”

Only when Thor placed a hand onto his own did Loki realize that he had been clenching his fist. With a soft exhale, he leaned into Thor once more, and slowly but surely, his body began to relax. Thor leaned in and pressed a light kiss to the side of Loki’s head, prompting the queen to smile. No matter what issue he faced, no matter how hopeless things seemed, he would always have Thor to rely on, a light in the darkness. He wanted to tell Thor how much that meant to him, but he could not find words that were meaningful enough. Instead, he turned his hand over, interlocked their fingers, and gave a soft squeeze that Thor returned.

It wasn’t much, but in the end, it would be enough.

~~~

The next morning was a blur. Loki woke and dressed in a daze, unable to focus on anything else but the meeting at hand. Thor left earlier in the morning, which was all the better. As skilled Loki was in the department of deception, he did not think he would be able to fake an air of normalcy. Not today.

After a quick breakfast in his room, Loki marched across the castle grounds at a brisk pace, making his way to the courtroom. If any of the residents questioned him on the way, he did not notice. All of his senses were directed toward the task at hand. Everything else was secondary, background noise. The only resident that caught his eye was the one waiting for around the corner of the courtroom.

Sif looked as professional and powerful as always. Loki’s heavy footsteps caused her to turn his way, and he could see the fire in her eyes. She was dangerous, beautiful, and most of all, _capable_.

“Are you ready for your biggest battle to date, My Lady?” Loki asked, keeping his voice down. Two guards always stood at the door of the court, and he did not want them to overhear their conversation. 

“It will be a glorious battle, Your Highness,” she replied just as quietly, though the fire never dimmed in her eyes.

Loki nodded and gestured toward the courtroom with a bow. “Be my guest, then.”

Straightening her posture and keeping her head high, Sif rounded the corner and approached the two guards with Loki right behind her. The guards remained imperturbable as always as the two closed the distance, but neither Sif nor Loki would be intimidated by such a show as they came to a stop in front of the guards.

“We require the attention of the court,” Sif announced, her voice unwavering. 

“We cannot allow it, Lady Sif. You know why,” one guard said. So it would appear that Sif had tried to gain entrance on the court on more than one occasion. Not surprising.

Loki stepped forward before Sif could say anything in response. “You _will_ allow it, by order of the Queen.”

A guard began to protest, and Loki held up a hand to silence him. “The information we carry is urgent, and the court and King must be alerted at once. Should you deny us, dire things will happen and I will personally make sure you are held accountable.”

Dumbfounded, the guards exchanged nervous glances with one another. At long last, they both stepped aside.

“Thank you,” Loki purred, offering the guards a sultry smile as he and Sif entered.

Loki had been in the courtroom once before when he signed his marriage with Thor, but he did not remember it being this vast. A seemingly endless number of seats filled the four sides of the rectangular room, and the majority of seats were currently filled. All eyes turned to Sif and Loki as they entered, and they came to a pause in the center of the room. Loki scanned the room, meeting their perplexed expressions with a calm gaze, and swallowed. Funny how such a large room could make him feel so stifled.

“Your Highness, what brings you here?” one man asked, voice laced with concern. It would seem that the Queen was only welcome in court if something dire was indeed actually happening. How sad.

“I would like to call the court’s attention to a crucial issue, if the court will allow it,” Loki announced. The man frowned, probably knowing that Loki would continue to speak on the matter whether the court wanted him to or not. 

“You may proceed, but keep it concise. We have many articles of discussion planned for today already,” he said, and Loki barely bit back a sneer at the way the man’s voice seemed to droll, as if he already dismissed whatever Loki wanted to talk about.

Not to be disheartened, Loki strode into the heart of the courtroom, keeping his expression formal without being confrontational. His focus jumped from one man to the next as he spoke in a loud, clear voice, “Since I have arrived in Asgard, it has been clear to me that military efforts rank as a high priority. And indeed, the fruits of your labor show. Such military prowess cannot be rivaled in any of the realms. And yet, I know that the military can grow to be even stronger, as long as everyone receives what they are due.”

Many of the court members shifted in their seat, and Loki could practically fear their displeasure. “And that is why I would like to promote Lady Sif as a captain of her own squadron.”

The silence that followed was crushingly overwhelming, to the point to where all he could hear was the beating of his heart. And then the men got to their feet at once, and the room became filled with a chorus of rejection as the men muttered amongst themselves in voices that were none-too-quiet.

“There is no need for another Captain. We have more than enough in leadership already.”

“Your suggestion holds no weight here, Queen.”

“Sif? The woman?”

“What is this Jotun playing at?”

Sif did not falter at his side, not even in the face of such blunt insults. Loki’s gaze narrowed just a fraction, but he too remained silent as the Asgardians bickered and griped. Should they lose this battle, they would lose with honor.

A loud bang silenced the room. All eyes slid to a man at the forefront of the room, his grizzly face covered in scars and his blue eyes tired but wise. Loki met his stoic stare from across the room, waiting to hear his fate.

“To enter with such a bold request is daring, Your Highness. Daring, or foolish. We will consider your request,” the old man said, his deep voice a crackling boom.

The dismissal in the man’s voice was unmistakable. Loki stepped forward, gaze narrowing again. “No. _We_ will discuss it,” he responded, gesturing across the room and then to himself and Sif. 

The man chuckled, and the derisive sound made Loki want to punch something. “With all due respect, you have no place here, Your Highness.”

“And why not?” Loki snapped, and ah, so much for not being confrontational. “According to Agardian law, I am equal to the King, so my word in court should be just as good as his.”

“And what _does_ the King think of this, Your Highness?” the old man questioned.

“What do I think of what?”

The court came to a silence again as Thor entered through a side door, his expression stern as he glanced around the court – before finally landing on Loki. He knitted his brows and took a step closer to the stunned Queen.

“Loki?” Thor asked, confused.

All eyes returned to Loki, who, underneath the weight of every stare in the room, could do nothing but gape at Thor.

If the room had been stifling before, it had now become beyond suffocating.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I am eternally grateful and flattered for the comments! :D They seriously make me grin and make my day. <3
> 
> A couple of notes!  
> 1.) I don't know if I made it clear, but Loki's appearance is Jotun. It always has been, and always will be.  
> 2.) Forseti is the Norse God of justice. I improvised with his age/appearance/demeanor for the sake of this fic.  
> 3.) I originally intended for there to be porn in this chapter, but it just didn't feel right. I hope no one minds all the plot. xD There will be porn again soon~
> 
> Hope everyone enjoys!

The moment that Thor walked into the room, time seemed to come to a standstill. Loki became blind and deaf to the members of court; he only had eyes for Thor as red and blue met from across the room in an unbreakable hold. There was so much that he could have said to Thor at that moment, but his tongue could not shape the words. He could only meet Thor’s baffled stare head on, refusing to back down or show any sign of weakness under such collective scrutiny.

“Loki, what is this?” Thor said at last, his gaze sliding to Sif. Dimly, Loki became aware that Sif was sending him a very pointed look. Apparently he forgot to notify her that he did not inform Thor on any of their plans. Oops.

The old man with the grizzled face made a grating sound that might have been a chuckle. “So, you have not told him.”

“Told me _what_?” Thor asked, his voice rising. Despite the situation, Loki had to bite back a pleased smirk as he could practically feel the members of the court flinch back into their seats. Thor was all fire and authoritative energy as he wildly looked about the room, seeking, no, _demanding_ an answer, and damn if Loki did not find that attractive.

But Thor’s gaze returning to Loki brought the queen back to reality, his mood subdued once more. Before Loki could reply, the old man spoke again.

“Your Queen is entertaining the idea of promoting Lady Sif as a captain in the Royal Army. It would seem he has not indulged you in his plans, My King,” said Grizzly Man.

Loki’s body grew tense, fingers clenching against his better judgment. Though he had every intention of snarling about how the old man was trying to turn Thor against him, the change in Thor’s expression silenced Loki once again. Taken aback, Thor’s eyes widened just slightly before gradually narrowing in perplexed realization, and Loki could practically see the light bulb go off in his head as the truth behind Loki’s long nights and secrecy was revealed. Despite the wave of uneasiness that threatened to wash over him, Loki held Thor’s gaze with a smooth measure of calm, neither submissive nor apologetic.

Thor must have realized the position this put him in, as he turned back to the council with a long, quiet exhale, and Loki watched his dear King with the utmost curiosity. Surely Thor was stuck between a rock and a hard place. To agree with the council would be to spurn Loki and put a major damper on any further attempt to gain power in Asgard. But siding with Loki would prove just as dangerous, as Thor would break the ancient traditions expected of him in favor of a Jotun Queen that Asgard did not completely accept as of yet.

Loki bit his cheek as the torturous silence stretched on. Beside him, Sif brushed her arm against his in a brief, reassuring touch.

At long last, Thor lifted his head higher and addressed the crowd, “I may not know the details of Loki’s proposal, but I know Loki, and I trust his judgment. I ask that the court listen to his advice as they would mine.”

Loki’s heart skipped a beat, and he could hear Sif’s breath hitch.

The council erupted in a flurry shocked sounds and livid protests: some of the angry old men stood up, waving their arms in rage, while others were struck silent, aghast at the audacity of this young king. It was loud, it was boisterous, and it took every last ounce of Loki’s self-discipline not to curl his lips in the smuggest of smiles and cackle at them in the face of this victory.

The commotion carried on for a little longer before Grizzly Man banged his gavel repeatedly, and the council obediently hushed. The old man leaned forward, his wrinkled, scarred face grave as he leered down at Thor.

“You are King, but you are young. You do not know the consequences of which you speak.”

Thor did not waver beneath the severe stare. “I know well enough, Forseti. Youth does not impede my understanding, nor can you dissuade me.”

The old man, who apparently was named Forseti, gave an ugly curl of his lip. “Such a stubborn streak. A downfall of youth.”

The heated aura around Thor nearly flared in defiance (or perhaps as a sign of proof) of the accusation, but the King remained silent. Loki glanced between Forseti and Thor, his tongue swiping against his bottom lip as he hesitated for a moment before stepping forth.

“If I may, Forseti. I humbly ask again that the court consider my request,” Loki said, and the slight emphasis he put on the word ‘my’ did not go unnoticed by the audience, especially Thor. Though Loki kept his attention on Forseti, he could see Thor whip his head toward Loki out of the corner of his eyes. Perhaps Thor would be upset, but Loki would not have Thor suffer for Loki’s own doing. If any were to receive criticism and anger this day, it would be Loki, not Thor.

As expected, Forseti’s glare shifted to Loki. Judging by the way that Forseti stared at the queen as if he was a bug that needed to be smashed, Loki expected Forseti to kick him out of court without further ado. To his surprise, Forseti broke the silence with his low grumble once more.

“Your role in the court aside, we have no need for another captain, and our armies stand strong, as you say. Why fix a system that is not broken?”

The words caused Loki to pause and openly gape at the old man in the face of such blind ignorance. At last, he managed to suck in a slow breath, fighting down the urge to scream and slap someone upside the face. Plastering a fake look of calm upon his face that did not quite meet his eyes, Loki dared to speak again, his words even.

“With all due respect, Forseti, I believe there is something broken about a system that does not provide its women what they deserve,” he said, his voice quiet. When Forseti did not interrupt him, he continued. “I am new to your kingdom, but I have done my homework. I have read your military accounts and have seen Sif in combat, and she has proven herself to be one of the strongest warriors in the army. Not even you can deny that.”

No one did, and Loki quelled the rising feeling of satisfaction.

“The military accounts reveal that men in your armies have been promoted for much less. Given her prowess and the way that the other soldiers respect her, I believe that promoting her would strengthen both the skills and camaraderie of the army.”

Several members of court murmured at that, and Loki was pleased to hear that not all sounded negative. But Forseti did not look convinced.

“Leadership takes more than physical strength and popularity. What makes you so confident that Sif possesses the skill to lead?”

“It is not something so easily described. I see the capability in her, the capability to wield power justly and with great courage,” Loki responded.

The men of the court continued to whisper amongst themselves, and Loki thought he saw Sif stand even taller under such praise. After the voices came to a hush, Forseti spoke again without looking away from Loki. “We will take a vote, then. All in favor?”

His heart thudded in an uncontrollable further as his gaze swept over the court, who at first, remained still. Slowly, oh so slowly, a few hands began to rise. And then more. And then more. Loki released a breath he did not know he was holding as he tried to count the hands.

Forseti turned to count the hands quickly. “All against?”

The For hands fell, and many more rose in their place. Sif made a soft sound, and this time it was Loki who brushed his arm against hers.

After those hands were counted, Forseti gave a snort of a sigh. “Your motion passes, Queen.”

Shock flooded Loki’s system, and he could do nothing but stare in happy disbelief.

“However,” Forseti growled, bringing Loki back to reality. “In three months time, we will review her progress. If we do not like what we see, she shall be stripped of the title.”

“Of course,” Loki replied automatically as he gave a polite bow, one that Sif mirrored at his side. “Thank you for your time.”

Forseti made a grun that Loki assumed to mean that the two were dismissed. The two strode out of the court with their heads held high, expressions masking the excitement that buzzed between them. Only when the door closed behind them did they break free, Sif leaping forward to wrap her arms around Loki’s neck in a tight hug. Loki was too stunned to question the sudden show of affection, and he instinctively hugged back, eyes closing as he released a long breath.

“You did it,” she said breathlessly, traces of disbelief in her voice. Loki could feel her smile as much as he could hear it.

“ _We_ did it,” Loki corrected, his voice just as strained as hers.

Sif slid back from him then, a question clear in her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell Thor?”

When Loki paused, Sif shook her head. “Forget it. It is not my place to ask.”

Loki gave a slight hum, knowing full well that he’d have to answer to Thor soon enough.

“Would you care to accompany me in a victory drink, Your Highness?” Sif offered.

Well, he had time. Thor would be occupied in court, after all. “It would be an honor, Captain Sif.”

~~

Loki returned to his and Thor’s room after lunch with Sif, feeling warm from the wine and good cheer of their conversation. Thor had not returned yet, but Loki did not expect his lover to be back as of now. In the mean time, Loki busied himself with fixing his hair, removing the tangles from the long black locks. His mind had been consumed by the task at hand for so long that some primping was overdue and well deserved.

His hands came to a still as the door open and closed, and he turned in his seat in front of the mirror to watch Thor shrug off some of his formal wear onto a nearby chair. When their eyes met, Loki was surprised to see that Thor’s expression was guarded, his movements stilted. In that moment, Loki could agree with Forseti’s earlier words. Thor was young, and he much looked like an awkward child that was unsure of how to proceed forward. But unlike Forseti, Loki did not underestimate the quality of youth, and he patiently waited for Thor to work out his thoughts on his own.

Thor approached at last, his expression neutral as he broke the silence. “That was quite a surprise. All those late nights finally made sense.”

He did not seem angry, and so Loki managed the barest of smiles as he stood in front of the king. “Indeed.”

Their eyes met again, and Loki could practically see the gears turning in Thor’s head. Loki did not pry nor push to learn what Thor was thinking about, knowing that Thor would share when he was ready.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Before Loki could respond, Thor quickly added, “I stand by what I said to you the other night. You are entitled to your own secrets and affairs, and I do not want to invade your privacy. But…well.”

Thor trailed off there, frowning at his inability to express himself. But Loki could hear the unspoken question. Why was _this_ made a secret? Answering that would mean being more truthful than he had in a long time, and suddenly it was Loki feeling like a child, trying to find a way to explain to his parents what he had done. Foolish, perhaps, to walk around eggshells like this around one another, but they were still newlyweds, and more importantly, new to each other; though Thor claimed that he knew Loki, the truth was that they still had a lot to learn about one another.

“I suppose I wanted this to be a creation of my own. A proposition of the Queen, rather than the Queen backed by the King. I don’t know. I thought it would be a more powerful statement that way. For them to see the Queen act without his husband,” Loki admitted.

When Thor did not respond, Loki quietly added, “I did not mean to embarrass you in court.”

That earned a reaction at last. Thor gently brushed Loki’s cheek with one hand, his expression softening. “You did not embarrass me. I admit I was a bit confused, but I was also proud.”

Loki leaned into the touch as he met Thor’s eyes, and this time, Thor wore a smile that caused his eyes to shine. “What you stood for is honorable, and it took great courage to confront Forseti and the court. Sif is a dear friend of mine, and I thank you for standing up for her and all others who will come after her.”

The smile was infectious, and Loki could not bite back a small one of his before his expression grew serious again. “My plans don’t end with Sif, Thor. I want to change things in Asgard for the better. The women here deserve better.”

“And the Queen as well?” There was a teasing note to that question; of course Thor knew that Loki’s intentions were inspired by just a healthy bit of self-centeredness, and Loki would not deny that he wanted his rights as well.

“And for all Queens who come after me,” Loki corrected.

Thor’s hand moved to brush a few locks of hair behind Loki’s ear in a soft, reverent motion. “Then let it be known that I stand by you.”

With a pleased purr, Loki leaned in to claim Thor’s lips in a deep kiss, expressing the gratitude that he could not put into words.

~~

After making his usual rounds through the castle the next morning, Loki made a detour outside of the palace. He walked to the training grounds with a newfound peace, enjoying the cool warmth of the early morning sun on his face.

When he arrived, he found a group of warriors already working up a sweat, following the instructions that Sif called out at the front. She looked like a natural already, her face strong and voice unwavering. 

Their eyes met across the field. Illuminated in sunlight, Sif’s face glowed as she gave a soft nod of her head, a smile forming on the edge of her lips. Loki inclined his head in return, and he found himself smiling as he turned to head back to the castle.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in two days?! You mean it didn't take me a month to write the next chapter? Some kind of miracle!
> 
> Things get rocky in this chapter, folks. Rough seas ahead!

Loki was no fool. He did not expect the following days to be filled with celebrations in his honor for accomplishing what no Queen had done before, nor did he expect that he would be granted all else that he desired. The Jotun runt learned at a young age that life was not a fairytale, and there was no magical wand that he could wave to fix all his problems. He knew this, and yet, he did not expect what would come the next few days.

During one of his morning rounds, Loki could sense that something was clearly off. Before, Asgardians would eagerly greet him in the morning, and a few would even strike up a small conversation with him. The conversations, while seemingly little, illustrated that some of the residents were beginning to truly accept him as the king’s consort, his race and gender aside. However, as he walked the halls on this early morn, no resident approached him for a chat. When Loki came upon the residents of his own accord, many would bow their heads and murmur the barest of greetings before speeding forward. Some congregated in small groups to whisper, only falling silent when Loki neared. But most disturbing of all were those who said nothing, simply stared at Loki through harsh, judging eyes, as if he were a creature under a microscope. Loki would nod in silent greeting, offering a light smile. They never smiled back.

The strange behavior continued throughout the day. Asgardians seemed to avoid him every which way, never offering an explanation for their bizarre actions. To make matters worse, he could not find Thor anywhere. As far as Loki knew, Thor was not due to appear in court or any important council meetings. But when the sun began to descend over the horizon, Loki could only wonder if affairs were indeed being conducted, and he was purposely being kept in the dark.

It was this driving thought that led Loki to the court where the two guards stood ever watchful. Their stony expression did not falter as Loki paused in front of them, searching their solemn faces before asking.

“Is Thor in there?”

Perhaps it was a trick of the dying light, but he thought he saw their eyes harden. “You cannot be here, Queen. You should return to your room at once,” one guard said, and the thick set of his tone left no room for contradiction.

The avoidance of his question confirmed his suspicions. Loki could have demanded his way in to see his husband, as he did before, but he had a feeling that it would only make matters worse. With a clenched jaw, Loki turned and marched away from the guards without another word. His heavy footsteps echoed in the hall like the beat of a war drum.

Contrary to the guard’s suggestion, Loki did not return to his quarters. Instead, he prowled through the expansive gardens like a leopard on the hunt, trying to work off the energy rippling through his veins at an alarming rate. He knew that he would have to face Thor soon enough, and he did his best to clear his mind and gain some sense of calm, however meager. It would not due to confront the King with his adrenaline so high.

Loki remained in the garden for hours.

~~

Night fell by the time that Loki returned to the castle, and he could not say that he felt much better. But there was little point in delaying the inevitable now, as surely Thor would be in their chambers by now. Loki paused outside of their door for a moment as he inhaled and exhaled a deep breath. Steeling himself, he opened the door.

Thor stood in front of the window, his back to Loki. The King did not move at the sound of the door closing and Loki’s quiet steps forward, his gaze trained on the horizon. Even from a distance, Loki could see the edge of his lover’s body, all tense muscle. The silence that stretched between them was painful, and Loki cleared his throat lightly as he came to a rest at Thor’s side. And still, Thor did not turn. A pang formed in Loki’s chest.

“I think we need to talk,” Loki started slowly, his gaze cautious upon Thor as he looked for a reaction that Thor refused to give.

“Talk, then,” Thor said at last, and there was a low rasp to his voice that Loki did not like at all. The careless words stung, but Loki would not be deterred.

“The Asgardians seem to resent me. They ignore me, and when they whisper to each other, I know it is my name on their lips. You must have heard this too,” he said quietly. Surely Thor was not deaf to the murmured gossip that spread like wildfire.

“I have,” Thor agreed.

When Thor said nothing more, a spike irritation swelled within Loki as he impatiently shifted on his feet. “Well? What is this meaning of this?”

The sigh that escaped Thor only further fueled Loki’s annoyance, but he remained silent as Thor gathered his words.

“They know what you did the other day. They think you want to usurp my power, and that I am weak for allowing you to take charge in the court.”

The only thing that hurt more than those words was that Thor did not deny them.

Loki bristled like a ruffled cat, a snarl pushing past his lips. “Daft imbeciles. I try to _help_ Sif and women, and they see me as a traitor to Asgard and to you?”

Thor said nothing. For a moment, Loki allowed himself to seethe with anger, his hands clenching as he scowled out the window. Another question formed on his lips, though he was hesitant to voice it. “Do you regret what you said to me the other day?”

The reply was almost mechanical. “I do not regret helping Sif.”

Loki spun, leveling a venomous look upon Thor. “That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”

Silence. That unwavering gaze out the window, as if he could not bear to look at his traitorous Queen. Loki could not stand it. “Look at me!” he demanded, his voice raising more than he intended.

At long last, Thor tore his eyes away from the window and met Loki’s heated stare. The look within Thor’s eyes was disconcerting. Loki was used to Thor’s fire, but this was nothing like the frenzied anger he possessed in the courtroom. This was a broken stare, one hurt and confused. The way he seemed to look right through Loki tore him up inside.

“Forseti was right. I did not know the consequences,” Thor admitted, and each word seemed like it hurt to say. The young King was not one to admit personal defeat so easily, after all.

With a bitter laugh, Loki held his arms open. “Well, here they are, Thor. Asgard thinks me a Jotun invader and you my bitch.” Thor’s eyes narrowed and nostrils flared at that, but Loki would not allow him to interrupt. “Is that what you told the court today? That you’ll do a better job of keeping your wayward consort under control?”

“ _Loki_ ,” Thor all but growled.

“What am I supposed to do, Thor? Sit back and accept my submissive role that your culture thinks I deserve?”

“Stop putting words in my mouth,” Thor interjected, his voice raising as he turned to face Loki in a quick movement. Though Thor was not much taller than Loki, he seemed to exploit that inch he had on him to tower over the Jotun. “I did not speak ill of you, but I cannot have the court and Asgard think you are meddling behind my back as if I am your underling.”

Loki’s lips curled in an ugly sneer. “Funny, because you were fine with it until the consequences arrived. It hurts to be seen as weak, does it? To have people lose respect for you over something you have no control over. That’s what Asgard does to its women and Queen _every day_ , Thor, by keeping them beneath men.”

“You’re missing the point, Loki! It will do neither of us good if you continue to tiptoe in secrecy about this. My support for your mission does not waver, but your strategy must change.”

They fell silent, the only sound being their ragged breaths as they sized one another up. The words _hurt_ , and Loki could not be sure if it was because he knew that Thor was telling the truth or because the truth was simply not fair.

“Do you see me as undermining you, Thor? Do you think I want to wear your crown for myself?” Loki asked, keeping his voice quiet though no less urgent.

The fact that Thor did not respond right away made Loki’s gut churn. “No,” Thor murmured. “I don’t see a traitor in your eyes. Just a stubborn man who cannot see the politics at hand.”

Eyes narrowed again in heated disbelief. “So you will no longer continue to support me if I continue forward?”

Thor’s gaze was heartbreaking. Frustrated, defeated blue eyes held his gaze as the King at last said, “I don’t know.”

Something inside Loki shattered. He turned away, shoving past Thor to leave the room in a hurry, ignoring the call of his name. Loki could not bear to be in the same room as Thor for now, the weight of their conversation too heavy on his heart and mind. He opted instead for a brisk walk around the gardens again, trying to grasp what Thor said. The King would support the mission, but only if the secrecy would fade. Loki was unsure if he could handle that.

When he eventually returned to their room, Thor had gone. Loki curled up in bed and fell asleep by himself.

~~

Loki wound up at the training field the next morning, but not to pay a visit to the warriors.

An ice dagger speared through a target in the distance, and Loki’s smile took a predatory turn. It had been a long time since he had last practiced his magic, and he was pleased to see that his skills with ice had not depleted; he gained a sick sense of satisfaction with each dagger that struck a bull’s-eye in a target. It was a healthier way to release steam, and it was probably better than going on a rampage in the castle.

Blue mist fluttered across his arm as ice encased his skin, turning his entire arm into an ice sword. Loki took a moment to admire his work and look for any faults in the design.

“That’s impressive. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Loki turned and watched as Sif approached, eyeing the sword with curiosity. With a light shrug and quick wave of his arm, the ice disappeared from his skin. “A common Jotun weapon, though it takes practice to learn.”

“I don’t doubt it,” she said, her attention turning to the ice daggers nestled in the far-off targets. “You should train with us sometime. 

Loki laughed in spite of himself as he created and tossed another ice dagger. This one was slightly off its mark. “I don’t think I would be welcome there anymore.”

The knowing look on Sif’s face made it clear that the newly appointed Captain was plenty aware of the rumors spreading in the kingdom. “You broke the mold in many ways. The first Jotun to rule in Asgard, the first male consort, and the first Queen to challenge the authority. Asgard is not sure what to make of you right now.”

“Oh, they know what to make of me. They think I desire Thor’s crown and want to undermine him,” Loki said bitterly, tossing yet another dagger forward. 

Sif hesitated, and when Loki glanced at her, it was clear that she was trying to form her words carefully. “I mean no offense, Your Highness, but keeping Thor in the dark was a risk that may not have paid off.”

“Thor said the same thing,” Loki said with an indignant sniff. Was Sif on Thor’s side too?

Sif gave a light shrug in response. “I understand why you did it.”

“But you think it was wrong,” Loki said, filling in the unspoken blanks. Sif placed a hand on his shoulder, and there was a touch of sympathy in her expression as their eyes met.

“I think you won a battle, but the war is harder than you first thought,” Sif replied. Loki remained quiet, allowing Sif to continue. “I am not saying that you should surrender, nor should you feel the need to ask Thor for permission. But he wants to help you, and I think it will make things easier if you keep him informed.”

Though her words made sense, Loki was reluctant to accept them. Perhaps he was as stubborn as Thor said. “I don’t know if he wants to help anymore. We…had a bit of an argument.”

Sif arched a brow, and her lips quirked in the beginnings of an amused smile. “I have known Thor since he was a babe. He will come around.”

The image of Thor as a toddler provided temporary distraction, and Loki could not hide his own smile. “I did not mean to offend him. I just...wanted to do this on my own. Without Thor’s help or counsel.”

“I know.” Sif tilted her head, her face shining in the sun. “And you can still do so, if you wish. But sometimes, it is best to compromise.”

He snorted. “He said he didn’t mind my secrecy, but that was before people gossiped and called him weak. Now he wants nothing to do with me if I keep secrets.”

The look that Sif turned on him was considering. “I don’t think Thor was aware of the significance of what you did, including the ramifications.” When Loki frowned, Sif continued, “Thor has good intentions, but he is still young and has much to learn about politics. He was not supposed to become King for some time, but the marriage arrangement between the two of you changed that. He’s still discovering what it means to be King, and sometimes that means mistakes.”

They fell silent as Loki let those words sink in; somehow, Loki felt that Sif was not just referring to Thor, but to himself as well. Sif gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder before turning back to the castle. “My offer still stands, you know. I’d like to spar against a sword of ice, and I imagine I am not the only one.”

As her form disappeared on the horizon, he felt a new rush of appreciation for his companionship with Sif.

~~

Loki spent the rest of his day avoiding the Asgardians, including Thor, as much as possible. Considering that he spent most of his time in the gardens and walking around outside, trying to sort through his thoughts, it was not difficult to achieve solitude. But alas, he could not avoid others when he returned to the castle for a meal. His gaze was unblinking and his face emotionless as he passed by another small congregation that whispered as he walked, surely speaking of his power-hungry ways. 

As he took his meal alone, he thought about Thor’s broken expression and Sif’s advice on compromise.

It was late when Loki finally retired to his room. The lights were already off when he entered, and he could make out the outline of Thor’s sleeping form in their bed. Loki undressed and prepared for bed in silence before sliding in bed next to his sleeping lover. In the dim moonlight, Loki silently considered Thor’s sleeping face. His face looked even younger in slumber, the anger from their argument gone, replaced with an expression of youthful calm. In that moment, Loki truly could believe that perhaps Thor really was struggling to come to terms with the newfound leadership and responsibility. He chewed on his lip in thought. Perhaps Loki too had much to learn about being in a place of responsibility.

With a quiet sigh, Loki at last closed his eyes and tried to rest. Sleep would not come to him for two hours.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I want to thank everyone for their positive responses! Seriously, every time I get a notification from AO3, I grin like an idiot and wiggle in glee. I'd also like to thank you guys for sticking with me and this story, especially since I'm not the fastest updater. /guilt. You guys are seriously awesome. <3
> 
> That said, here's the next chapter. It's not much in the way of plot, to be honest. But no worries, things will pick up again in the next chapter. And I might even throw in some porn. ;)

If Loki hoped that things between him and Thor would mend immediately, he was sorely mistaken. The next few days passed by uneventfully, and while they were at least on talking terms now, their conversations were awkward and stilted, their smiles plastic and straining their faces. While Loki knew it was pitiful to be tiptoeing around his own fucking husband, he could not bring himself to sit Thor down and have conversation about what the hell they were doing. It was easier to lie beside Thor at night and pretend that everything was okay between them, and that the tension between them did not lay thick like heavy, poisonous smog. It was easy for him to lie; it always was. But this lie was like a large pill, too heavy to swallow.

But when he was out and about in public, Loki found that it was not so easy to feign ignorance to the problems surrounding him. The majority of the civilians avoided him the best that they could, and when they did interact with him, they gave him that same forced pleasantry that he had been exhibiting in front of Thor. He could only wonder if he looked as dead and wary in the eyes as these passing Asgardians so often did. 

Loki was accustomed to solitude, so if he spent more and more hours away from everyone else to escape their judging eyes, he did not consider it weakness or avoidance. At least now he would have peace and quiet as he contemplated what his next play would be.

But, as he sat in a bed of flowers under the violent colors of an evening sky, all he could think about was Thor.

Thor, who did not hesitate to accept Loki’s marriage proposal. Thor, who stuck by his side and deflected questions about a Jotun consort with easy assurances. Thor, who looked like he was truly seeing Loki for the first time on the day of their fight and was not sure if he liked what he saw. The only thought more miserable than that was if Thor not only doubted Loki, but questioned the very foundation of their marriage in the first place. His stomach gave an uneasy churn at the mental image of Thor sitting in their shared bed just as Loki sat in the gardens, reconsidering their hasty marriage. Even though it was just a hypothetical situation in his head, the thought left Loki reeling and anxious. Surely Thor would not call off the marriage; Loki couldn’t even be sure that there was such a thing as divorce in Asgard.

Eyes fell shut as he leaned his head back, enjoying a cool breeze that drifted through the air. Perhaps he was being overly dramatic. But all theatrics aside, it did not change the fact that at the end of the day, Loki did not want to compromise on an issue that he viewed as completely nonnegotiable. He should not need _permission_ to carry forward his plans and achieve the goals he so eagerly sought; would that not contradict his very purpose in the first place? How could independence be gained by relying on those that they were still chained to?

A spoiled prince of Jotunheim, Loki had been taught many things. He became as accustomed to the icy touch of the snow that covered the land as he did his mother’s kiss on his brow. He learned how to manipulate to gain what he desired, and how to properly revel in the spoils of war. Magicians taught him the art of illusions and tricks, a subtle craft for keen minds.

He learned many things, but how to concede was not one.

A particularly harsh breeze stirred Loki from his incessant thoughts. Opening his eyes, the sky had further darkened, the first stars of the night twinkling amongst wisps of thin clouds. Pulling his legs to his chest, Loki folded his arms on his knees and rested his head. By now, Thor had more than likely returned to their chambers for the evening in preparation for sleep. Staying in the gardens long enough to avoid talking to Thor was a tempting thought, but a cowardly one, he knew. He would have to talk, really talk, to Thor sooner or later.

Even so, Loki remained curled like a child in the gardens until the darkness snuffed out the last hint of daylight, allowing the stars to take reign.

~~

He took his time returning their room, his heavy footsteps echoing in the empty hallways. A few guards sent him occasional glances, looking to see Loki required their assistance. Loki raised a hand in response, a silent greeting and decline for their aid. It would appear to be a wasted gesture; after all, they made no move toward the despondent queen either way. Pointedly keeping his gaze forward, Loki forced himself to keep his posture straight and proud, unwilling to wither in front of their prying eyes. He could not let them see weakness, could not let them think (or realize) that they had managed to get beneath his skin.

When he at last reached his room, he gave a quiet, deep sigh outside of the door before quietly entering. 

Curiously, Thor had not fallen asleep, as Loki had previously thought. Instead, he sat hunched at a desk, scrutinizing a document under dim candlelight. He did not turn to look at Loki when he entered. Loki expected as much.

“Will you be coming to bed soon?” Loki asked. Thor still would not turn to face him, all of his attention focused on the document before him; that stung more than it should.

“In a bit,” came Thor’s reply, low and distracted.

The clear feeling of being dismissed made Loki bristle, but he forced his lips to remain silent as he prepared for bed on his own. Even though Thor was just across the room, the distance between them felt like miles as Loki slipped into bed, the cold chill of the sheets an unwelcome sensation against his skin. Never before had the cold felt so lonely as it did now in this empty bed. Turning his back to Thor, he bundled himself in blankets and willed himself to sleep.

~~

Stirring awake in the middle of the night after a particularly bizarre dream, Loki’s eyes blearily opened to reveal their pitch-black room. Just as he shifted under the covers to get comfortable again, he became very aware of a firm, warm body pressed against his back and a strong arm a curled around his waist. Breathing hitching, Loki stiffened. His first instinct was that this was all just a dream, but Thor’s soft snoring and warm breath on Loki’s neck betrayed this moment as reality. Though he wanted to believe that this was a good sign, that Thor curled around him right before falling asleep, cynicism plagued his thoughts. There was always the chance that Thor cuddled close to Loki out of force of habit rather than any conscious intent.

It probably amounted to nothing more than that. A mistake, a routine that Thor could not break during his sleep, even during their fights.

Even so, Loki placed his hand atop of Thor’s before falling back asleep.

~~

“Will you stop moping and just talk to him already?”

Loki frowned from his sprawled out place on Sif’s bed, the owner of which was glaring down at him with such force that, had he been a lesser man, he might have cowered before her. Like many evenings before this one, Loki dropped in on Sif for a bit of needed companionship, especially since he was sorely lacking in that these days. Of course, he should have known that she would harp on him about his still tense relations with Thor, as she had been the one to push him to make amends in the first place. But as of now, no meaningful words had been exchanged between King and Queen, leaving Loki feeling…empty. 

“I am a queen, and I do not _mope_ ,” Loki said with a sniff.

Sif arched a brow. “Sulking, then.”

“Brooding,” Loki corrected.

Sif made an impatient sound in the back of her throat. “Whatever you choose to call it, Your Majesty, it must come to an end.”

Eyes closed for a moment as Loki searched for patience. “It will, in time.”

“Time is not in your favor right now,” Sif said, and the low warning in her words caused Loki to sit up, eyeing his friend carefully. While it was no surprise that Sif desired reconciliation for personal reasons, something in her tone alluded to something deeper, something more urgent – something that he did not like the sound of.

“What has happened?” Loki asked.

There was a pause, and Sif gave a quiet sound as if it pained her to speak. “The people whisper against you.”

“That is nothing new,” Loki murmured darkly. But still, Sif shook her head.

“You dismiss them, but they are more perceptive than you think. Thor’s mood has been no better than yours, and when people see the royal couple so downcast, they draw certain conclusions.”

He did not like where this was going. “Conclusions,” he repeated, prompting Sif to explain.

Another pause, though Sif did not break eye contact. “Unrest in the house of the king causes lips to loosen and rumors to deepen. They know you two are fighting, and it worries them. They think you two are regretting your marriage, or are having power struggles to the point to where blood will be shed. Asgard does not take well to inner instability. The people grow apprehensive, and they demand answers.”

Those words brought Loki to a pause, his gaze turning to the side as his heart hammered in his chest. Though Loki questioned the morals and social principles of the people in his kingdom, he knew that the people were not inherently dimwitted. Their questioning irritation was like the loud hum of a plague of locusts, ready to consume and devour in search of satisfaction. But even so, he assumed that all of their anger was aimed at himself for being a traitorous Jotun in the house of Asgard. Learning that his spat with Thor had affected his husband so deeply was like a knife to the gut. For all of his current frustrations with his husband, he did not intend to hurt him so badly, nor did he want to jeoparize Thor’s own image in the face of the residents, not just the old, stuffy members of court.

When he turned to face Sif, her face remained stern, though her eyes had softened some. With a sigh, Loki lowered himself back down on her bed, eyes fluttering to a close again. This was not what he wanted, not what he envisioned when he originally set out making changes to the social and political system. An easy and smooth process was too much to ask for, surely, but he did not imagine that he would dig himself deeper and deeper into a hole. 

“And if I acquiesce, will the storm be calmed? Or are the rising waters already too high to stop?” Loki asked, eyes remaining closed. He could feel the bed shift as Sif sat next to him.

“I imagine they will still be wary, but they can be won over again.”

Loki laughed, a humorless sound. “In Jotunheim, we are not so forgiving. We offer no second chances to those who we view as unfavorable.”

A hand came to rest on his shoulder. “But will you do the same?”

He thought of Thor, his wonderful, beautiful husband who had a smile that could blind the sun and a heart of gold, and Loki knew his answer.

~~

After leaving Sif’s room, he made a beeline to his chambers with Thor. Though the King would be in a meeting for another hour or so, Loki wanted to prepare himself for Thor’s eventual return. Tonight, the proud, stubborn ice giant would learn what it meant to compromise, what it meant to be married, two parts of a whole. He did not know how this would go, and he could only hope that Thor was blessed with more patience and forgiveness than Loki could ever hope to achieve.

And thus, sitting on their shared bed, he waited.

But Thor took his time returning, and at one point, Loki began to wonder if he would even return at all. By the time he heard the telltale creak of their door, Loki had slumped forward on the bed, dozing off. The sound of Thor’s return caused him to spring upward again, blinking away the sleep from his eyes as he looked upon his beloved.

For the first time since their fight, Loki looked, really looked at Thor. The result made him ache. Weariness was etched all over Thor’s face; his mouth was set in a deep frown, and dark bags hung beneath his eyes. As he undressed for bed, Loki noted the tense lines of his husband’s back and shoulders, and he could only guess how many knots lay in those thick muscles. Loki wanted to reach out to Thor and soothe away the clear signs of stress and pain, but guilt kept him in place. Apparently Sif was right; he was not the only one suffering from the consequences of their argument.

Loki had intended to talk to Thor tonight, truly. But when Thor turned to him at last, fatigue and a hint of sorrow coloring his face like a gloomy painting, all of the previous words that he had been reciting in his mind faded away. The silence between them stretched on as Thor closed the gap between them, and Loki was so certain that this was the moment he had been dreading. Thor would tell him that he never should have gotten involved with a hard-headed man like Loki, and that their relationship was broken and irreconcilable.

But instead, Thor leaned forward, pressing himself into Loki and releasing a long, deep exhale. Eyes widening a fraction as if he was shocked, Loki’s arms immediately lifted, entwining around Thor’s neck as they fell into bed together. Burying his face in Thor’s neck, he inhaled his husband’s familiar scent as Thor drew him closer, until it was nearly impossible to tell where one began and the other ended. Loki pressed a light kiss to Thor’s skin, a silent whisper of an apology that he could not verbalize.

They still needed to talk and figure things out. But as they fell asleep like that, curled into each other as if they were the only ones in the world, Loki knew it could wait one more day.


	8. Chapter 8

For the first time in weeks, Loki slept soundly through the night. When he finally stirred awake the next morning, he felt refreshed and ready to take on the world, starting with one important conversation with one important husband. Eyes still closed, Loki blindly grasped to the spot next to him in bed, reaching for Thor’s warm body. When his fingers only buried into cold cloth, his eyes shot open and he sat up. The other side of the bed was empty, simply a forgotten tangle of sheets. Groaning, Loki slumped back down in defeat, burying his face into his pillow. Of course Thor would choose this day to rise early.

He allowed himself a few more minutes of rest before he reluctantly slid out of bed to prepare for the day. Though he dressed in haste, he took his time combing through his long, dark hair, which seemed to accumulate more tangles than usual, despite the peaceful night. Nimble fingers wove through the inky locks in slow, practiced movements as he stared at his reflection in the ornate mirror. Red met red in a tired hold, and for the first time since the fight, Loki truly saw himself – the tired lines around his eyes, the blank emptiness in his eyes, the dull pallor of his skin. No wonder the Asgardians were skeptical of not just himself, but his relationship with Thor. If this was how he presented himself, weathered and worn with plastic-fake smiles and defeat in his eyes, then how did he expect to win this long battle?

With newfound tenacity, Loki finished his grooming quickly, twisting his hair into a quick braid and fastening it with a gold clip to keep it together. Shoulders thrown back and head held high, he regarded his reflection once more, forcing his expression into regality and strength. No more failures, no more hesitation. He could not afford to give ground in this game.

The pep talk appeared to work, for when he finally made his way down the ornate hallways and to the court, a few Asgardians sent him second glances, their prying eyes curious. Though Loki would normally use this time to engage with the Asgardians and try to build a rapport with some of the more promising ones, but like a horse with a pair of blinders, all Loki could focus on was straight ahead to the court, the need to speak with Thor increasing with each passing second.

He heard Thor before he saw him. Thor’s voice had the ability to fill the room without meaning to, loud and charismatic and warm, just like its owner. It was a warmth that Loki could not find in the icy palace of Jotunheim, and even now, he found himself drawn like a moth to a flame as he peered around the corner to see what events were transpiring.

Thor stood amongst a handful of men from the court, addressing them about some important matter, if the serious expression on their faces said anything. Gone was the weakness and uncertainty that painted Thor’s face the previous days. With his stance strong and voice commanding, Thor looked every part the King that he was, capable and sure of himself. And in that moment, Loki wondered if he truly did underestimate Thor and his potential, both as a partner and a leader. Thor did possess a certain naivety that came with youth, but he was also considerate and bright. The way that the councilmen looked up at their king with expectation and reverence was proof of Thor’s capabilities. The people might have questioned Thor’s actions as of late, but there appeared to be no doubt that Thor was a leader through and through, and he could rectify his mistakes easily enough.

Loki had seen Thor as many roles before, but this was the first time he truly saw Thor as King. It was humbling.

He snapped out of his stupor when he overheard what exactly the small congregation was discussing.

“We can discuss this more when we meet about Jotunheim,” one of the old fools said.

Jotunheim. He should not have been surprised that diplomatic talks regarding Jotunheim were still underway, and he could have slapped himself for forgetting that important detail. His tie to Jotunheim was the best card he had to play, after all, and he had not taken advantage of it nearly enough. 

Without listening to anything more, Loki turned and stalked back down the corridors from whence he came.

~~

Loki spent the rest of the day on his own, leaving Thor to his kingly duties. The hours dragged on at a snail’s pace, and no activity that he could immerse himself in would distract him for the inevitable confrontation at night. He was tempted to take up Sif on her offer of training together, but knowing that she would inevitably inquire about his personal affairs, he decided that it could wait until another day, when relations between himself and Thor normalized.

By the time that night fell, Loki’s patience had nearly reached its limit, and he had to force himself to sit still on their bed rather than give in to the restless crawling beneath his skin. Luckily, Thor did not keep Loki waiting this night. His loud, familiar footsteps betrayed his arrival, and Loki instantly straightened, his jaw clenching against his will. He did not know what to expect from Thor, given how they went from dancing around in each other in awkward tension to the unexplained affection last night. But what he did know, however, was that things would be solved one way or another tonight. Loki would not allow either of them to retire to bed until they hashed this conflict out, no matter how painful.

The door opened with a slow creak, and Loki watched in silence as Thor entered and closed the door behind him wordlessly. The previous lines of weariness and stress that had been carved into Thor’s face had since disappeared, and Loki could only wonder if Thor slept soundly through the night as well. The King did look confused though; there was a slight tilt of his head and furrow to his as he took off some of his outer wear.

“I did not expect you here,” Thor said, his voice a low rumble. Loki simply cocked his head in turn, though he said nothing in response. He was tired of talking to Thor just for the sake of talking and pretending that everything was fine between them when it clearly was all a lie. Enough of the bullshit.

“I’m going to be a part of the Jotunheim meeting,” Loki said. Thor’s brow furrowed more as he processed the change in conversation. Loki maintained eye contact the entire time, his face blank as he watched Thor close the distance between them. “This is not open for discussion.”

Loki expected Thor to protest, to yell about how they’ve talked about this before. Instead, Thor sidled in front of his queen, regarding him with a bewildered look. “Why are you tel-“

“You wanted to know my game plan in the future. Here it is, Thor. On the day of the Jotunheim meeting, I am going to be a part of the political discussion, the role of Queen be damned.” He leaned back slightly, a challenge in his eye. “You can either accept it, or try to kick me out. Your choice.”

A heavy silence settled between the two of them as they stared each other down, the implications of the statement weighing over them. Loki kept his expression neutral, smothering the hint of desperation that he felt rapidly rising beneath his skin. But no, he told himself that he would not show weakness anymore. He had to keep a tighter lid on his emotions, even when he felt like he was burning up with the need to explode in a tantrum of anger.

Something in Thor’s expression softened – just a slight relaxation of his mouth, a tiny detail that most might have overlooked, but Loki liked to think that he was more in tune to details than most. Thor released a soft breath, his tongue flicking across his lips as if scrambling to find the right words to say. Loki would wait. He had all night, after all.

“Thank you for telling me,” Thor said at last. Loki gave a sniff, lips curling into a frown. Seeing the displeased expression, Thor continued, “You know I support your goals.”

“Do you, now?” Loki murmured, tone frigid.

“ _Yes_ ,” Thor affirmed, and now he sat down next to Loki, the mattress shifting from the added weight. “Yes, of course I do. I said as much before, did I not?”

Although Thor moved, Loki kept his gaze trained to the spot where Thor stood before, his eyes hardening. “You said you would not support me.”

“Only if you kept secrets about it,” Thor insisted, placing a hand on Loki’s shoulder, forcing the queen to begrudgingly meet those pleading blue eyes. “I know you do not wish for my help, but I do ask that you keep me informed. That’s all I ask of you, Loki.”

Loki searched Thor’s eyes for any sign of insincerity or hesitation, but found nothing, just quiet hope and earnestness. The honesty in Thor’s gaze left Loki sighing, though whether in weariness or defeat, he was not sure. “Well, I informed you.”

The corners of Thor’s lips twitched into the beginnings of a smile, one of the first genuine smiles Loki’s seen on Thor since their fight. “Aye, and I’m thankful.” A quick beat of silence as Thor glanced away for a moment, as if he was grabbing for more words. “I will not kick you out, Loki. Whether you believe me or not, I do want to aid you in any way I can. I believe in your mission. I believe in you.”

The quiet admission gained Loki’s attention, and he felt a pang in his chest when seeing the pain in Thor’s eyes. And damn it all, if that did not just tug at his heartstrings. He gave a slight nod of his head in acceptance, exhaling a soft sigh. “I believe you.”

And that’s all that Thor seemed to need, as he wasted no time in wrapping an arm around Loki’s waist, drawing him in close. Loki allowed himself to relax into his husband’s hold, humming a little when Thor nuzzled into Loki’s neck and pressed a kiss beneath his ear.

Apologies were never really Loki’s thing, so he said the next best thing that came to mind. “You know, Sif says that the people are waiting for us to kiss and make up.”

Thor chuckled into Loki’s skin, and the rumble sent a shiver down his spine. “Shall I fondle you in public tomorrow? Show the world that we made amends?” Thor murmured in Loki’s ear before nipping the lobe, leaving Loki to shift closer for more contact.

“I’d rather not wait until morning to make amends, if it’s all the same to you,” Loki replied as he turned to face Thor, slinking an arm around Thor’s shoulders as he pulled the both of them down onto the bed. Thor followed him down, shifting their positions so that he sprawled over Loki, one hand cupping his cheek as their lips met in a rough, needy kiss.

Kissing Thor was like coming home, all teeth and tongue and clacking teeth, and god, Loki missed this. It was messy and greedy, but neither seemed to care as their tongues entwined, swallowing hungry sounds as their bodies arched into one another, needing to be as close to possible. Thor only broke the kiss and scrambled back long enough for them to work on ridding themselves of their clothes, their fingers savagely digging into cloth and fabric until it pooled on the floor. 

Without clothes to hinder them, Thor covered Loki’s body again, both hands tangling in Loki’s hair and tugging as their lips met again, leaving Loki keening into Thor’s mouth wantonly, like he’s been dying to have Thor on top of him again. Thor snapped his hips down against Loki’s, drawing out another wanton moan from his lover as Loki helplessly clawed Thor’s back, relearning the contours of firm muscle in the throes of electric passion. 

“I’m sorry,” Thor breathed against Loki’s lips, and Loki impatiently rutted against Thor as his legs parted in invitation.

“Shut up,” Loki hissed, and it’s almost embarrassing how gone he already sounded. And Thor just laughed a little, knowing Loki enough to recognize the retort as his own way of apologizing.  
Abandoning words, Thor continued to grind against Loki at an agonizingly teasing pace, all the while pressing kisses and soft bites all long Loki’s jaw and neck, claiming him all over again. A sound dangerously close to a whine was wrung from Loki as he desperately tried to move faster, to increase those sparks of pleasure, but Thor’s weight restricted his movement.

“Thor, if you don’t stop teasing and fuck me in the next two minutes, I swear I’ll-“

“You’ll what?” Thor asked, pressing a particularly hard bite to Loki’s collarbone before laving the wound with his tongue. Loki’s head bowed back, eyes fluttering as another spike of hot desire ran through his body, leaving him at a loss for words. He succumbed to the pleasure, throwing all care to the wind as he tangled a hand in Thor’s hair, mashing their lips together in a kiss hard enough to draw blood.

Without bothering to break the kiss, Thor blindly groped at the bedside drawer until he retrieved the small vial of lube. He pushed back from Loki and resolutely ignored his queen’s groan in protest in favoring of pouring some of the liquid on his fingers. Loki obediently shifted, giving Thor enough room to press a slick finger into his entrance. He hissed at the intrusion, but the discomfort faded into pleasure soon enough as Thor eased another finger in. He thrust and pressed until he reached that spot that sent Loki gasping, hips pressing down in need of more, wanting to take as much of Thor as he could. He knew he must be a sight to see, wrecked and flushed and nearly begging to be filled, but he could not find himself to care, so long as Thor would not stop.

“Come on,” Loki said at last, insistently wrapping his legs around Thor’s waist. Thor poured some more oil onto his fingers and gave his cock a few slow tugs, leaving him groaning.

“You’re so gorgeous, Loki,” Thor whispered, his voice sounding drunk with desire. Loki regarded his husband through glazed eyes, pleased to see that Thor looked as far gone as he did. He dug his heels into the small of Thor’s back in response, impatient and demanding.

Thor gave into his insistent lover, nudging his cock against Loki’s entrance before sliding in home in one slow push. Groans spilled from their kiss-swollen lips at the heated unity, and Loki gazed up at Thor through his eyelashes as he panted in anticipation. Thor held the heated contact as he brushed some hair from Loki’s face, tucking it behind his ear as he pulled out nearly all the way before thrusting back in at a rough snap. Loki groaned encouragingly, rolling his hips to meet Thor’s rough pace, needing it as fast and hard as Thor could give. And oh, Thor did give. He kept the rhythm strong and quick, driving beautiful sounds out of Loki's throat as he was thoroughly fucked.

As Thor leaned in just slightly, and Loki pushed himself up enough that he could sink his teeth into Thor’s shoulders, muffling the sounds of his pleasure as Thor mercilessly drove into him, groaning lowly at the flood of heat that overwhelmed his senses. Thor wrapped an arm around Loki’s back, lifting Loki just enough to deepen and change the angle of his thrusts. He knew when he hit his mark when Loki released his clamp on Thor’s shoulder with a strangled cry, and insistent words. 

“ _Yes_ , Thor, therethere _there_ ,” Loki breathed, unable to stop the string of desperate babbling spilling from his lips. His begging only spurred Thor on as he drove forward with a growl, one hand digging into Loki’s hair to expose his neck for more love bites, and the other wrapping around Loki’s cock and jerking him until Loki nearly screamed. And gods, Lokie missed this; the feeling of Thor so deep inside of him that Loki knew he’d feel this ache for days to come, the chorus of their groans and sighs brought on from mutual pleasure, and the firm, reassuring heat of Thor’s body pressed against his, moving as one until Loki could not tell where he began and Thor ended.

The pace was too rough to last for long, but Loki would not have it any other way. Their sweat-slick bodies began to stagger against one another as their climaxes approached. Heat coiled low in his belly, his body tensing as he keened in the growing pleasure that seemed to swallow him whole. Loki dug his fingers into the back of Thor’s neck, keeping Thor buried into his shoulder as his eyes squeezed shut, coming between them with a strangled cry. A few more thrusts later and Thor came as well, his groan muffled by skin as he collapsed atop Loki.

They did not move for a good minute or so, content to bathe in the afterglow as they came down from the high. When Thor finally rolled off of Loki and cleaned them up, he spared his queen a tired glance and smile. “I missed you.”

And maybe it was the remnants of pleasure coursing through his veins, but Loki found moving closer to Thor, curling to his side in content affection. “Missed you, too.”

Sprawled next to each other in tired bliss, they drifted off into peaceful slumber.

~~

When overhearing the court members the previous day, Loki missed one crucial detail: the date of the meeting. So when he woke up next morning with guns blazing and a determination to take down the patriarchal society, he was surprised when Thor simply laughed and shook his head.

“The meeting is not for another month.”

Oh.

All in all, this was not really a loss. Although Loki was itching to get back in the ring, he now had ample time to prepare for the meeting and to do some damage control in the mean time. Bearing in mind Sif’s warning about the people’s view of the royal couple, Loki took the time to appear at some of Thor’s public appearance, curled at his side and sharing affectionate gestures when he could. The public shows of fondness seemed to calm down most of the rumors, as Asgardians seemed more relaxed over the next couple of weeks. Though some of their smiles were still too tight to be normal, many had gone back to their curious, affable ways, engaging the queen with midmorning chatter. It was a start, and Loki found himself feeling lighter than he had in weeks.

“I suppose I should be thanking you,” Loki said on one morning, staring Sif down on the training field.

She charged forward, holding nothing back as she swung her sword with skilled grace. Loki countered with his sword of ice, and slivers of glistening ice flew into the air from the impact.

“Should you?” Sif asked between gritted teeth as she leapt back, swirling her sword in her hand as Loki prowled forward, swiping his sword again.

“Oh yes. You’re a wise woman, My Lady,” Loki said, his voice barely audible over the sound of metal meeting ice.

“I know,” she said as their dangerous dance continued, neither letting up. “So, should we be expecting more from you in the future then?”

Loki grinned. “But of course.”

~~

The weeks went by without significance, and while Loki enjoyed the downtime, he was more than ready when the day of the meeting finally arrived. Dressed up in his best clothes, he made his way to the court with a confident smile on his face. While he always had faith in his abilities, knowing that Thor supported him somehow made it even easier to feel positive about what would come of this meeting.

The typical guards stood at their post, and Loki gave them a brief nod of his head. The guards stayed still, as usual, and Loki regarded them with a quirk of the brow.

“Are we really going to do this again, or can we skip the tedious talk and just let me in?”

Perhaps the guards expected Loki to be humiliated again, as the guards let him in without a single word. Loki waved over his shoulder and entered the room.

The court was as full as it was when he first visited, and all eyes went to him. Loki offered the gathering a smooth smile as he glanced about the room with confident ease. “Good morning, gentlemen. I request to be a part of this meeting.”

A few men began to protest, but Thor’s familiar voice boomed over the rest. “Loki knows more about Jotunheim and their ways than the rest of us combined. To refuse his knowledge and guidance would be foolish.”

Loki met Thor’s eyes across the room as the grumbling came to a slow end. He smiled again, clapping his hands together. “Shall we begin, gentlemen?”


	9. Chapter 9

Loki bit back a disgruntled sigh as he willed his eyelids not to droop. This was the third meeting about Jotunheim in the last month, and somehow, he still felt like they were making little progress on the matter. Of course, he liked to believe that it was because the Asgardians were loath to listen to his opinions on the subject, but who’s counting?

“If I may interrupt, councilor,” he said, raising an index finger with an arched brow.

Several pairs of narrowed eyes turned to him at once, and Loki plastered on one of his trademark fake smiles, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at their blatant lack of respect. Really, they could have tried to pretend that they did not despise his presence; if Loki put forth an effort to fake amiability, then why couldn’t they do the same? But Loki would not stoop to their petty level. Wars were not won that way.

“Yes, Your Highness?” The councilor in question asked, his burly arms crossed against his chest. Loki could have sworn that the man was flexing his muscles on purpose, as if Loki would be intimidated by a show of brawn. Morons, the lot of them.

“I do not believe it wise to have the next meeting between kingdoms take place in Asgard,” Loki said. Several of the men grumbled to one another at that, but Loki paid them no mind, keeping his gaze steady and calm as he waited for a reaction with some actual substance he could respond to.

“And why is that? We have more room here to accommodate everyone.”

“It is not a question of space, or resources, or whatever argument you wish to make. It’s a question of equality. You have already invited them onto your grounds for the first round of diplomatic talks, as well as the wedding. If we refuse to pay a visit to their kingdom, they will see it as an insult – that the mighty Aesir are too good to visit the likes of the Jotun,” Loki explained.

Loki expected the Asgardians to gripe at the suggestion and whine about having to put up with the cold weather for days. Instead, the men appeared curious and thoughtful, as if they were truly considering Loki’s words for the first time this entire meeting. Loki must have taken on an expression of shock, as Thor nudged his foot from his place beside him. He smoothed his expression into what he hoped was something more regal and authoritative.

“It is a fair point,” another man said, and Loki could have rejoiced at the compliment conceded, however small it may be. “Enlighten us, please, Your Highness.”

Thor turned to Loi, looking as serious and majestic as ever, but Loki noted the slight crinkle next to those blue eyes, the happiness and pride he shared with Loki in that moment all of their own. Loki tilted his head in return, a silent reciprocation of affection, before regarding the congregation once more.

“The Jotun will want the next meeting to be in their land. That, I can say for certain. But at the same time, they will not want you to assume that the meeting will be there. Showing up invited will be grossly disrespectful and might ignite conflict. So we will extend an offer to them without framing it in such a way that the Jotun will feel obligated to say yes.”

To Loki’s surprise, quite a few of the men were scribbling down notes as he spoke, apparently finding his advice favorable enough to record for future reference. A far cry from their previous behavior, and a good sign of things to come, with any hope.

“And what of their hospitality? What should we expect upon entering their realm?”

Loki sat back in his seat, a smile quirking on his face. “Believe it or not, gentlemen, they are not so different than you. They will greet you the same way you greeted them: with a feast and good spirit. Of course, it is good politics to bring a gift of some sort, and so they will expect you to offer something of value as a show of friendship. In return, they will spare no expense to give you the same kind of elegant welcome that you have provided us. Should the talks go well, you can expect to enjoy your stay in Jotunheim for two or three days, immersed in its people and wealth. And enjoy you will, as Jotunheim treats its allies and friends with unmatched respect. As long you cross into their land with stereotypes and assumptions banished from your mind, you will find concord amongst the kingdom.”

There was so much that he could say about his homeland, his culture, but above all, there was one main sentiment that he wished to convey.

_We’re not barbarians. We’re not what you think._

The room fell silent aside from the sound of ink swishing on parchment, and Loki knew that Asgard had so far to go, still. So many of its members were like horses with blinders, seeing the destination but unable to see the important details that were being obscured by prejudice staining their vision. And in messy politics like this, details were crucial and could make the difference between war and peace, ignorance and revelation.

But as they heeded the advice he, a queen and a Jotun, gave, he thought that hope might still remain for this kingdom.

~~

After closing remarks and scheduling another day to continue the conversation, the meeting was formally adjourned, though some, like Thor, would linger to hammer out a few more details. Thankful for the reprieve and lacking any real interest in follow-up conversation, Loki exchanged bows with the congregation and took his leave. The sound of the door closing behind him was his cue to relax, and he allowed his stance to slacken, a line of tension leaving the sharp edges of his shoulders. This little victory called for a reward – perhaps a long, uninterrupted bath to release the rigidity he held during the meeting.

He was nearly halfway to his quarters when a small voice called out to him.

“Your Highness?”

Loki paused and turned, and a small child was ambling up to him, her blonde curls fluttering every which way as she tried to catch up to him. A woman’s voice called out then, no doubt her mother or maid looking to snatch the little imp up before she got into trouble.

But Loki was in a good mood, and he was all for inspiring mischief in the younger population. And so he offered the young girl a smile and welcoming incline of his head, trying to reassure her. “Can I help you?”

The little girl paused a few feet away, her brown eyes as wide and innocent as a doe’s as she gaped at Loki, as if she could not believe that the Queen of Asgard was actually speaking to her. After a moment’s gawking, she seemed to remember her initial mission.

“Um, I was just wondering, um,” she began, shuffling in place, eyes darting to the side in her shyness. But Loki was patient, and he would allow the little girl to finish her thought.

“Why’re you doing so much stuff?”

Loki blinked. Right when he was about to ask if she could clarify about this ‘stuff’, the woman who called out before arrived onto the scene; she had the same blonde curls as the child, and Loki could only assume that she was the mother of the bold girl. Flushed, she took a hold of her daughter’s arm and drew her toward her, ignoring the girl’s whine.

“Dísa!” she scolded, before turning repentant eyes onto Loki. “Forgive me, Your Majesty.”

“It is no trouble,” he said, and Dísa smiled shyly at that. “She is interested in my affairs, is all. Or, well. My ‘stuff’.”

Dísa nodded at that. “’Cause, um, mommy says that most queens don’t do all the kinds of stuff that you do. How come you do stuff?”

Loki had to bite back a smile as the woman’s face grew even redder as she hissed to Dísa to not say such things. But Dísa’s words, though perhaps not so eloquent, held a valid point. The simple fact that his actions were being discussed in households was remarkable, and he could not pass up the opportunity to explain himself to someone, no matter how small. Thus, he crouched down until he was at Dísa’s level, who was still peeking behind her mother.

“I’m doing things that other queens didn’t simply because I can. Some might say it’s strange, but I think you should have the right to do what you want, within reason, no matter what anyone else says or thinks. You should not be denied a chance to do something because you’re a queen, or a girl. Girls are just as important as boys, and they should be able to do the same things. I’m trying to prove that.”

There was a beat of silence where the two simply stared at each other, curious brown into soft red. After a moment, Dísa crept out from behind her mother and toward Loki, considering him.

“So… I can be a knight who has a whole buncha creatures as pets and save everyone?” she asked. Loki patted her on the shoulder with a light smile.

“Of course you can.”

Dísa squealed, and Loki did not miss the way that her mother sent an appreciating glance to him, mouthing the words ‘thank you’ as she bowed. Loki returned the gesture with ease as she headed down the hallway with Dísa, who was telling her mother all of the cool things that she was going to catch and tame.

Loki watched them leave as whirlwind of pride and hope and utter bliss swept over him.

\--

The moment that Thor entered their chambers, Loki flung himself onto his husband’s arms, pulling him down for a deep kiss, smothering any kind of greeting that Thor was about to offer. Thor adjusted to the armful of Loki with relative ease as he tangled a hand in Loki’s hair, twisting the black locks until Loki moaned into his mouth. 

Thor had learned early on in their marriage that success stroked more than Loki’s ego. Perhaps it was arrogant for Loki’s success to affect his libido in such a way, but Thor never complained.

Impatient hands ripped their clothing away until they were flush against one another, Loki’s eyes fluttering at the dizzying contact as they scrambled to the bed. He pressed Thor down onto their mattress and settled over him, knees on each side of Thor’s hips and hands on the side of Thor’s head. Loki leaned down for another messy kiss, all teeth and lips and desire that left him needing so much more, and fast.

“I talked to a little girl today,” he mumbled against Thor’s lips. Loki felt Thor chuckle more than heard it, and fuck if it wasn’t sexy.

“Are we going to discuss this in bed?” Thor asked. Loki hushed him with another kiss and an impatient roll of his lips, grinding their swollen, dripping cocks together with a groan. Thor wriggled beneath Loki, arching into the touch with an impatient, wanting sound.

“I _inspired_ her,” he said, and Thor lifted his brows as he reached for the vial of oil at their bedside. Loki swiped it from him as soon as he could and poured some oil into his hand; Thor liked to prepare Loki slowly, working finger by finger into him until Loki begged for Thor’s cock. But today, Loki did not have the patience for that, as delightful as it was.

Sliding two slick fingers behind him, Loki breached himself with a soft moan as he rocked into it, their cocks rubbing together without any real meaningful friction. Thor thumbed the head of Loki’s cock, catching a bead of precome and sliding it down in slow, teasing movements.

“Tell me more,” Thor encouraged as he did _something_ with his wrist that had Loki keening, staring down at his lover through glazed eyes as his teeth caught his bottom lip.

“She told her mother about me,” Loki said, albeit with struggle as he added another finger into himself. “They, ahh – they’re talking about me, what I’m doing. It’s – fuck, Thor, do that again – amazing, and the council are listening to me, and _god_ , you _tease_.”

Withdrawing his fingers, he poured more oil onto his palm to slick Thor’s cock in measured, lazy strokes, reveling in the low sound Thor made at that touch. As much as he loved drawing sounds of his lover, Loki needed to be fucked two hours ago, and he wasted no time in positioning Thor’s cock against his hole and sinking down until he felt full.

Pressing one hand on Thor’s chest for balance, Loki started a rhythm of lifting his hips and canting back down; slow at first, so he could delight in the burn of Thor’s cock pressing into his still tight hole. But he wasn’t here for slow, not for long, and so he increased the pace, the sound of their skin slapping together mingling with their heavy breathing. Thor kept up and gave just as good as he got, thrusting up into Loki’s heated body until cries spilled from his pretty lips. Fingers clenched into Thor’s chest, blunt nails digging marks of possession into Thor’s skin as he rode him with no abandon, letting himself get immersed in the pleasure. His body trembled, his head tipping back in a wanton display as he gasped for more, _harder_.

The fast pace left no room for marathon sex, and as soon as Thor began to pump Loki’s cock, Loki obscenely writhed above Thor as his toes, his orgasm hitting hard as he spilled his come across Thor’s hand and stomach. Thor followed soon after, choking on a word that sounded something like Loki’s name as he filled his lover with his seed.

The arm that propped him up quivered from the pleasure, and Loki allowed himself to collapse forward, ignoring Thor’s grunt at his weight. Chin propped on Thor’s chest, Loki grinned like the cat that got the cream, and Thor just laughed, brushing a few strands of sweaty hair from Loki’s face.

“You did well today in court,” Thor said, and Loki just hummed like it was an obvious fact, but was thankful for the compliment nonetheless. “I look forward to seeing your home again.”

Loki idly traced patterns into Thor’s skin, red eyes half-closed in lethargic contentment. “I still remember when I first saw you. So handsome and bitching about the cold when it was clearly your fault for wearing so little.”

“I don’t recall you minding that last fact,” Thor said, wrapping an arm around Loki’s naked back.

“Mm, well. It was less to take off that night.”

Thor laughed, but the sound drifted off too soon, his expression clouding over. Loki did not ask, choosing instead to keep tracing those soft patterns onto Thor, possessive and reassuring all in the same.

“I’m curious about something. Promise you will not anger if I ask?”

Loki arched a brow, his drawing ceasing for a moment. “Yes.” Maybe.

There was a pause as Thor exhaled slowly, tongue swiping his bottom lip in thought. “I’m happy with you – happier than I’ve been in a long time. But I do wonder, why did you offer marriage to me? Surely there were other options that would have been politically and intimately satisfying.”

Loki resumed his touches but said nothing at first. This was the first time that they were truly having this conversation, and perhaps it was long overdue. Of course they talked about it when Loki first offered the proposal, but Loki focused more on the logical aspect than anything else. 

“Peace between Jotunheim and Asgard was long overdue, marriage was a convenient way to make it a reality, and I liked you well enough – more so than anyone in Jotunheim. But I do not think that’s the answer you seek.”

Thor was silent, a permission to continue. Loki shifted, crossing his arms on Thor’s chest and resting his head upon them.

“It’s a misconception that Jotun are as cold as their environment. To strangers, yes. But our familial bonds run deep, and we love fiercely. And when we find someone who stokes that fire within us, we’re not the sort to sit back and watch them leave. Not without a fight.”

The utter emotion on Thor’s face after hearing those words was enough that even Loki had to look away, unable to maintain the deep, heavy eye contact.

“We take affection and love very seriously. While we don’t believe in soul mates per se, we are not ones to give our hearts away easily. We’re very selective with our partners, but once we find someone, we cherish them with every fiber of our being. That’s why I did not wish to let you go. You stirred something inside me, something that no Jotun had yet to do, and I doubted that any would.”

The words sounded so foolish, and Loki closed his eyes as if that would make them go away. He and Thor had yet to confess love to one another, so even using that term in a sentence felt premature and uncertain. But Loki knew what he felt on that chilly day when Thor visited Jotunheim, and he knew that he was happy here, sprawled across Thor, more so than he had been at home. 

Thor caressed a hand across Loki’s cheek, drawing their gazes together again. Loki could feel Thor’s heart pounding against him, against his own raging heartbeat, and it felt like completion.

“I’m glad you didn’t let me go,” Thor murmured.

They shared a smile in the dark room, a secret between themselves as Thor took one of Loki’s hands and tangled their fingers together, squeezing tight in a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always appreciated. And of course, thank you to all my lovely readers! :) Y'all truly are my inspiration for writing this. ♥ Well, you, and my boyfriend who asks me every other day when I'm going to write the next chapter. So here's to all of you! :D


	10. Chapter 10

Word of his encounter with Dísa swept throughout Asgard like a storm. Over the next few weeks, Loki found his name whispered from the lips of many of the civilians, for once, not in a negative way. The looks he received in the corridors returned to the tentative, but genuine curiosity that they had when he first arrived in Asgard many months before. But in the past, the Asgardians tried to conceal their interest, sneaking little glimpses around corners and when Loki had his back turned, as if he could not feel the prickly weight of their stares on his skin. This time, however, they were much more forthcoming. They gazed upon him openly, questions brewing in their inquisitive eyes as he sauntered by them during his morning rounds and on his way to meetings.

Once, the Asgardians gawked at him like a bug under a microscope, something to be scrutinized until they could learn what made him tick. But now, Loki dared to say that their interest was less academic and more personal.

His theory was confirmed when a woman approached him one morning, politely inviting him to her place for food and conversation. Honestly, Loki had absolutely no idea if it was common for Asgardians to just waltz up to their Queen and invite her/him over for dinner and a chat, but Loki had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Her face appeared warm, welcoming, and interested, and so he offered her a brief smile and said, “It would be an honor.”

Which was how he found himself sharing boar and mead with the woman, Brynja as her two young children romped around, the sounds of their happy shrieking and giggling providing the soundtrack for the dinner. At first they discussed typical topics: how Loki was enjoying Asgard, if he missed Jotunheim, and the like. But Loki could not ignore the elephant in the room forever, so after taking another sip of his drink, he leaned back in his chair and leveled a thoughtful gaze on his companion.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why invite me over? I am quite flattered, so don’t mistake me on that. But surely there’s a deeper reason why you wished to speak to me here in the privacy of your home rather than the public floor.”

Brynja’s lips quirked upwards, her hazel eyes sparkling with mirth. “Nothing escapes you, does it?”

Loki returned the expression as he propped his elbows on the table (most impolite, but he couldn’t be bothered to fret about silly things like proper manners when faced with such a juicy moment) and laced his fingers together. “I do my best.”

With a quick laugh, Brynja leaned back as well, her long, curly auburn hair obscuring half her face as she turned to the side. The amusement disappeared from her expression, the smile tightening before fading away altogether. Loki tilted his head as if to implore her to share her thoughts, which, with a soft, barely-there sigh, she did.

“You’re what everyone has been talking about these days, which I’m sure you already know. Ever since your meeting with Dísa, well. No one can seem to stop talking about the Queen who empowers little girls.”

Loki said nothing, merely leaned forward to rest his chin upon his folded hands. None of this was news, as Brynja guessed, but he had no intention of interrupting a good story. Brynja huffed again with the slightest shake of her head, teeth worrying her bottom lip. For a moment, Loki feared that she disapproved of his work and invited him here to admonish him and his mission. He was surprised when she turned back to him with not anger, but sheer hope and respect illuminating her deep eyes.

“I do not mean to be forward, Your Majesty, but it is refreshing to hear such things. We Asgardian women are not weak, and while we’re not necessarily treated as such, I suppose we sometimes grow…complacent with the fact that we don’t share all the same privileges as men. Even though we sometimes raise our voices on the matter, our voices are drowned out. So, I wanted to thank you for taking initiative, and for listening to a little girl with big dreams.”

Her honesty stunned Loki, his tongue unable to form words as he simply gaped at Brynja and her sad, thankful smile. The sound of one of the children laughing and the tell-tale sound of little feet slapping against the ground broke Loki from his stupor. A young girl hurried into the room, her cheeks rosy and smile wide as she crawled onto her mother’s lap. Brynja cooed to her quietly and brushed the girl’s matching auburn hair from her eyes. The little girl turned to Lok, green eyes wide and shining, and Loki found himself smiling too without realizing it.

Loki once thought he was fighting to change the standards for women in royalty and other positions of power. But sitting watching this tender scene unfold, he realized he was wrong. It was for the women like Brynja, strong and loving, and children like Dísa and this young little girl eyes wide and innocent, that Loki pressed onwards and settled for nothing less than victory.

The little girl curled her tiny fingers around her mother’s arm, seeking comfort and warmth; Loki found himself smiling without meaning to again before he looked up, locking eyes with Brynja. “Keep raising your voices. Keep speaking up, and I will listen.”

~~

If he thought that the gossip about him and Dísa journeyed around like a storm, then his dinner with Brynja spread like a hurricane that had no signs of stopping. He made a promise to Brynja on that evening, whether he realized it or not; apparently Brynja took his words very seriously and had many connections throughout Asgard, as the next few weeks became a flurry of meetings with women all over the kingdom. Some would stop him in the hallway and whisper encouragement and thanks. Others took a page out of Brynja’s book and invited him to their place to talk over important issues. More often than not, Loki would arrive and find that a whole group of women would be waiting for him, and they would all engage in conversation until the sun had long since descended. 

Loki found himself looking forward to the get-togethers and thoroughly enjoying himself throughout the evenings. The women that he would see on a daily basis became more than just passing faces – he was able to talk to them and learn their real selves, learn about their hope and dreams, and share in the bitter anger that so many carried beneath their smiles and laughter. They stewed in their words and their rage, becoming a bubbling concoction that would poison any foolish person that would dare mock their potential. And not just the women, but the men too – sometimes their husbands, their brothers, their sons would be present, acknowledging and putting down their ignorant male counterparts, refusing to fall under the patriarchal web that they weaved.

Sometimes after the meetings, Loki would return to his quarters and sink to the floor, body trembling as wave after wave of wave of the anticipation and fury of his people crashed over him. Nothing before had ever been so exhilarating, so heart achingly brutal and real. The words of his people stripped him raw to the bone and built him back up again, but this time stronger, angrier, more determined. He fed upon their wrath with ferocity as if he would starve without it, and he used that fuel of anger and hope to push him through the days and keep himself focused.

More often than not, Loki brought his work home with him, clogging up his brain like a sponge full of water. He rambled on and on to Thor more often than not, always careful to keep identities anonymous when necessary. Thor took Loki’s rants and raves in stride, listening just as patiently and with interest as Loki did during his meetings with the women and men. Thor listened and gave his opinions and encouragement in return, which inevitably led to Loki kissing his husband stupid, because really, marrying a man with brawn and wisdom was just too good to be true.

And if the adrenaline from talking led to crazy, wild sex, well, Loki never complained.

~~

Loki first noticed that something was wrong during one of those fated meetings.

But that was a lie. If Loki were being honest with himself, he would admit that he had been feeling off during the past few weeks. No matter how much sleep he got the night before, he spent many hours of the day feeling tired and achy, and just not quite all there. His appetite, usually strong enough to rival that of an Asgardian, also waned and waxed throughout the weeks. Loki chalked it up to his busy schedule and tried to put it from his mind. Not only did the assemblies take up considerable amount of time and energy, but he had to attend more and more meetings with the council, seeing as how the Joutunheim meeting was just a few short months away.

Loki knew that something was wrong, but it took that one meeting for him to truly acknowledge it.

Everything started out fine, with everyone first checking in with each other and making sure that everything was okay with their personal lives. Once that was in order, they passed some food and drink around to share before they hit the hard and heavy business. Usually, Loki helped himself to a good-sized portion of the food, but when the meat and vegetables were passed his way, his stomach lurched from the sight and smell of the food. 

“No thank you,” Loki said, keeping his voice as controlled as possible, which was a difficult feat, considering that the women all looked to him at concern. At least, he _thought_ they were all staring at him with worry; it was hard to tell when the room had suddenly started spinning.

“Are you okay, Your Highness?” one of the women asked. 

Loki paused, taking a slow, deep breath as he clenched and unclenched his hands, trying to get his blood flowing. “Yes, thank you. Shall we carry on?” Surely this was just a brief spell of illness or weakness brought on by exhaustion, so he paid it no mind and assumed it would fade away as the meeting progressed.

He was wrong. If anything, the symptoms only became worse, perhaps by focusing on them too much. A chill ran down his spine as he struggled to keep the contents of his stomach down while focusing on what the women were saying. The dizzy spell did not let up either, which made it difficult to make eye contact with anyone in the room. Despite it all, he thought he was doing a relatively good job at masking his symptoms, until a warm hand settled over his own. Looking up, he met the concerned, gentle eyes of Brynja, who sat at his side.

“Your Highness, please, I insist you get some rest. You do not look like you are fairing well. Would you like an escort?”

Although he hated admitting defeat, his rolling stomach and worn out body left no room for arguments. “Perhaps you are right.” He stood slowly, inhaling through another rush of dizziness. Once steadied, he offered the women a brief smile. “You are kind to offer, but I will make it to my room without any problem. I apologize for this, and I will make it up to you.”

The women offered their condolences and insisted it was no problem, and Loki lumbered out of the room with all eyes on his back.

~~ 

Making it back to his chambers proved to be more difficult than he imagined, but damn it if he would let his body fail him so bad that he could not return to his own bed. He waved away the servants and guards that noticed the struggling Queen, insisting that he was fine and simply needed some rest and solitude. None of them looked convinced, but no one challenged the ice in the Queen’s eyes, and simply let Loki continue forward in peace.

Rest could not come soon enough. He closed the door with more force than necessary, shucking off his coat and tossing it to the side before collapsing onto the bed with a groan. Loki curled up with a groan, shutting his eyes and willing the pain and dizziness to rid itself from his system. Closing his eyes brought no reprieve, as even the shadows behind his eyes seemed to swirl and dance in a vomit-inducing hypnosis.

With a huff, he forced his body to relax and lose the tense contours. He needed to focus. Jotun were adept at reading their body’s signs and signals – an evolutionary lesson that came from living in a cold environment, no doubt. And so he disassociated himself from the pain and anxiety, allowing himself to slip into a deeper sense of self to see if he could find the source of this sudden fit.

It was a slow process, piecing together the symptoms with what his body was telling him. But when it came down to it, there was only one logical answer behind all of this. And sure enough, digging in a bit deeper, it him and _oh_ –

Loki’s eyes flew open as he scrambled to sit up. It couldn’t be. It couldn’t. But there was no room for denial, not when the signs were so clear.

It had happened. He had wondered when or if it would, given everything. But unless he was mistaken, and he highly doubted it, it really happened.

Loki had no time to register that epiphany, as his stomach clearly did not think highly of his rush of movement. He barely had enough time to hurry out of bed and run to the bathroom, where he heaved the contents of his stomach up until stomach acid burned his throat. When his stomach could give no more, Loki dropped to the cold floor, resting his head as he tried to calm his ragged breathing.

He remained there for a few minutes until he felt somewhat stabilized. Slowly, he pulled himself to his feet and cleaned himself up, dressing and preparing for bed. Thor should return by the next hour, and thank whatever god for that small miracle. Until then, he crawled back into bed and buried himself under a mountain of blankets and pillows. For all of his exhaustion, however, sleep evaded him. The thrum of adrenaline from his revelation kept him awake, unwilling to fall asleep until he spoke to Thor.

Just as he predicted, Thor returned but an hour later. Jerking forward, Loki unraveled himself from his cocoon of blankets to hear Thor’s affectionate chuckling.

“That hard of a day that you must smother yourself in blankets?” Thor teased as he closed the door and prepared to undress.

Loki did not smile or laugh as he usually would, did not even utter a witty response in turn. That was Thor’s first clue that something was wrong, and he approached the bed with his brows furrowed. “What troubles you so?”

“Thor. Sit down,” Loki said, his heart pounding all over again.

Thor did not question him, the smart man. He simply sat beside Loki in bed, brushing strands of sweaty hair from his lover’s face. Loki leaned into the touch like an affection-starved cat, a soft puff of breath falling from his parted lips. Red eyes were glossy and half-open as he met Thor’s endlessly blue gaze and let the explosive words tumble from his lips:

“I’m pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you so, so much for your feedback, everyone! I really did not imagine this story would take off like it has, and there aren't enough words to describe how happy and flattered I am. :) I hope you guys continue to enjoy the story. I'm not sure how many chapters are left. I more or less know what I want to happen, so it's just a matter of how long it takes to get there. 15 or 16 chapters in all, maybe? Just a rough guess.
> 
> Now, some notes.
> 
> 1\. I really hope no one is bothered by the amount of female OCs I've been introducing. But since this is a fanfic mainly about women's rights and celebrating the awesomeness of ladies, I figured it would be kind of a given that I'd have to toss some of them in. So apologies (but not really because yay ladies am I right?).
> 
> 2\. ....Welp, it finally happened. After 13 years of being in fandom, I'm finally writing mpreg. The original prompt for this story suggested mpreg in it, and I decided to run with it. Since I'm not entirely sure what the hell I'm getting myself into, I'm probably going to make some things up as I go, including about Jotuns and how they handle pregnancy. Apologies in advance for any weirdness that his spawns; I am new to this realm of fic. <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is waaaay overdue. A million apologies for that. I'd like to thank you all for sticking with me on this ride. I feel I should reiterate that I will never abandon this fanfic! This is a story I need to tell, and tell it I shall. <3 ~~however slowly that may be.~~ Thank you all again for the wonderful feedback! Y'all are the best. :) On with the show!

Thor’s hand stilled on Loki’s face as those tremulous words settled between them like a bomb. Loki became equally as still, gaze frozen on Thor as he looked for a reaction, good or bad. As the seconds of silence passed, surprise colored Thor’s expression, brows knit in confusion as his jaw fell slack. Something churned in Loki’s stomach. He did not like where this was going so far. Perhaps he should have waited to tell Thor until he was further along.

“Pregnant? Loki, are you sure?” Thor asked, dropped his hand to his lap. Loki pulled his legs up and draped his arms over his knees so that he could rest his head upon them with a sigh.

“Positive,” he confirmed.

Excitement flashed in Thor’s eyes, like a child that just remembered that it was his birthday, but Loki could still see the hesitance in Thor’s face, as if he dared not celebrate this just yet.

“How do you know?” Thor asked.

Loki’s lips pressed together in thought. How could he explain the differences in Jotun biology to Thor without sounding absurd? Somehow, he doubted that Asgardians possessed the same traits. With a soft snort, he opted for honesty.

“I know my body, Thor. Jotun learn at an early age to be in tune with their bodies. I can… I can feel him or her in me,” Loki said, that last words quieter than the rest.

And at last, Thor allowed a wide grin to overtake his face as he leaned in, enveloping Loki in a tight embrace. Like wound his arms around Thor in turn, resting his forehead on his husband’s shoulder, concealing his own small smile.

“This is fantastic news!” Thor gave Loki a squeeze before pulling back, and Loki gave a low sound in regret as he was forced to lift his head off Thor’s shoulder. Refolding his arms on his knees and perching his head again, Loki bit back a smile as Thor’s delight emanated from his body like the heat from the sun.

“Do you know how far along you are? Or is that beyond your knowledge?” Thor asked.

A valid question, and one Loki wondered himself. Many Jotun who were hoping to conceive would try to pick up signs from their body early on that would offer hints to a possible conception, with a heartbeat being an affirmation of new life. Closing his eyes again and focusing, Loki could feel the soft _thudthudthud_ of his child’s heartbeat, so soft he almost missed it all together, but still present, a quiet little war drum in his body. A scarce smile touched his face. His little warrior.

“Two months or so, I wager. Maybe more, maybe a little less,” he said quietly, eyes opening to see Thor’s beaming face.

With a breathless sound, Thor reached beneath Loki’s folded arms, tentatively pressing one large hand on Loki’s stomach. He furrowed his brows in concentration, and Loki could not help but to give a soft laugh.

“You won’t feel anything. Not yet, anyway,” Loki said.

Thor retracted his hand with a sheepish smile and a nod, his eyes never leaving Loki’s stomach, and the awe and wonder in his eyes made something warm curl in Loki’s body. Thor stared like he could already see their unborn child and loved him or her to the moon and back. Seeing devotion instead of only mild interest or pragmatic praise allowed some of his previous stress to unwind. Childrearing was one of the many categories of Asgardian culture that Loki did not give enough thought and research into before proposing this marriage. For the most part, Jotun tended to be wildly protective and doting parents, with few exceptions (Loki would forever laugh at his fate for being one of those said exceptions), and he knew he would treat his own future children in a similar fashion. But what of Asgardians? Were they as treasured and beloved by their parents, or did their parents possess a more distant, cool eye in regard to child raising?

Loki could not know for sure, but the unbridled love in Thor’s eyes hinted that at least Thor would be a dedicated, loving parent. Loki hoped so.

“How long until you reach full term?” Thor asked, and Loki snapped out of his stupor.

“A year, give or take,” he said, watching as Thor nodded again, the gears in his head clearly turning at a fast rate. His smile was so broad that Loki wondered how it hadn’t stretched off of his face all together.

“That will give us plenty of time to plan. We will also have to coordinate an announcement to the public.”

With a roll of his shoulders, Loki frowned at the thought of announcing his pregnancy right away. “Not yet.”

The smile on Thor’s face wavered. “No?”

He exhaled a quiet breath and shook his head. “Not until I’m further along. Another month or month and a half, and we can announce it. Until then, the risk of losing the baby is too high.”

Exhilaration tucked away for now, Thor rested a hand on Loki’s shoulder with a level gaze that Loki almost could not bear to hold. Thor’s fingers gave an encouraging squeeze.

“I understand. Let me know when it is safe to make the announcement, and we shall,” Thor said.

With a ghost of a smile, Loki uncurled his body, stretching his legs out and placing a hand on Thor’s leg. In one quick movement, Thor grappled Loki’s arms and pulled him down onto the bed, smothering the surprised yelp with a kiss.

“Get off of me, you oaf of an husband! You’re going to squish the baby,” Loki joked against Thor’s lips when the kiss parted.

Thor sprung back with widened eyes, caressing Loki’s belly in concern. Chuckling, Loki pulled Thor back down for another kiss.

“You’re sweet,” he whispered.

\--

Keeping Loki’s pregnancy a secret became more of a challenge than he initially thought as the next few weeks rolled by with all of the speed of dripping molasses. Loki had no problems concealing his pregnancy, even in the face of the numerous questions he received from members of court as well as civilians. It would appear that many of the women at the meeting Loki left early guessed that Loki had been experiencing symptoms brought on by a ‘delicate condition’. Gossip spread throughout the kingdom as gossip tended to do; even the guards eyed Loki’s belly with curiosity. 

But despite the incessant questions and squeals about whether or not Asgard could expect a prince or princess in the near future, Loki just smiled and kept his answers vague and obtuse. He was a skilled magician, after all, and the illusions of words came as easily to him as a slip of the hand and the murmur of a spell. Though he could tell that some of the civilians, men and women alike, grew frustrated with his ambiguous answers, Loki maintained a cool expression the entire time, unwilling to let anyone grate his nerves and make him cave.

Thor, on the other hand, was less inconspicuous. The way that Thor wore his emotions on his sleeve charmed Loki most of the time, but there were other times when it was less advantageous. Though Thor played down the pregnancy rumors just as Loki did, Thor always had this gleam in his eye, a spark of pride that he wanted to share with the world as soon as possible. But despite his excitement, he too would not cave to the myriad of questions he received. He always had an excuse at hand as to why Loki did not drink wine any more at dinner, or why he needed more rest than usual. Loki appreciated the effort, even if Thor would never be a king of subtlety. 

And so together, they managed to keep their little secret under wraps for another two months. Though it most likely would have been safe enough to announce the pregnancy a month or so ago, Loki did not want to jump the gun. Every day, he woke up and checked for his child’s heartbeat, needing to hear and feel the sounds of life; his worst fear was waking up to silence. Each day brought the assurance that the child inside of him still lived, and each day Loki could breathe a little easier.

The day came when Loki gave Thor a nod, and Thor smiled and took Loki’s hand as they walked to the court early one morning to make plans for the announcement. The court members already arrived under the assumption that they would be honing out the final details of the Jotunheim visit.

“We have an announcement to make,” Thor said when the meeting was underway. He sent a loving glance to Loki, who sat at his side, cool eyes surveying the group of men gathered before him.

“Loki is four months pregnant. We can expect a child in eight more months.”

The room filled with collective murmurs. Loki caught a few of the words: some men were shocked, others were not surprised, and Loki could have sworn he heard one man ask another man to pay up for losing the bet. Loki quirked a brow but said nothing. Thor hushed the crowd with a raise of his hand.

“We wish to make an official announcement to the kingdom in a day’s time,” Thor said when he restored order. “A feast in celebration shall follow.”

One of the councilmen, a chubby man with stringy blond hair and a face that Loki could not trust, spoke up. “That’s all fine and good, and I congratulate you on expecting, but don’t you realize what this means for the meeting in Jotunheim?”

Loki’s eyes narrowed. It would be so easy to freeze his lips shut for eternity.

“What of the meeting?” Thor asked, caution in his tone.

One of the other men cleared his throat. “With all due respect, Your Highness, the meeting is in three months, and I can only assume that the Queen shall be heavy with child. I do not think it would be wise for him to journey in his condition. He will have to stay behind.”

Loki was on his feet in an instant, and the man cowered in his seat, brown eyes nervous. “No,” Loki said, voice flat. He left no room for debate, though that, of course, did not stop these men who thought they knew him better than he knew himself.

“Imagine the crisis if Loki lost the child at Jotunheim. All our work for peace will be for naught.”

Fingers curled on the shiny wooden table as he struggled to hold back his anger. “I will not be left behind on a diplomatic meeting with my own homeland. I am the reason it exists in the first place, and I will not stand for being shoved aside just because I am pregnant. And if you think Laufey would approve of this treatment of his youngest son, you know less about Jotunheim than I thought. But by all means, venture into Jotunheim and tell the King that you decided not to bring his son after all.”

Loki leered across the sea of men, daring for one more to speak up in favor of leaving him behind. There was an awkward silence, only diluted by shuffling of papers and a quiet cough. Loki jerked his head to the man who made the sound – a dark haired man that sat next to Stringy Blondie.

“Perhaps it would be in our best interest to postpone the meeting until after Loki’s birth. I’m sure Laufey would like to meet his grandchild,” the man suggested.

Loki approved of that idea, but he remained standing, just in case any one else had anything smarmy to say about Loki’s presence in Jotunheim. When no one spoke, Thor gave a low nod of his head.

“That would be best for all parties involved. We will send an envoy to Jotunheim to alert him of Loki’s condition.”

The gavel pounded on the table, sealing Loki’s fate.

\--

The rest of the day was spent figuring out the logistics of the announcement and the feast. Loki kept himself involved in most of the plans, wanting to keep his mind busy. Though he did not like the idea of postponing the mission, he knew it was better than being cast aside while the Asgardians went to work on their own. The gods only knew how badly they would mess things up without him to help. And while he appreciated the concern for his unborn child, Loki did not think that traveling would put his child at risk. Jotun carried their children to full term under harsh conditions; their bodies were hardy and provided ample protection to the growing child. No, the only real threat to the child rested in Loki himself, regardless of where he happened to be at the time.

It was a topic that he had not yet broached with Thor, though he knew that it had to come sooner or later. And when the day finally came to an end with him worn out from all of the planning, he figured now would be as good as time as any. They retired to their room, and Loki did not bother undressing, choosing to collapse on the bed with a dramatic sigh as Thor worked on discarding his heavier robes.

“Did you work yourself too hard?” Thor asked, looking over Loki for signs of fatigue or illness. Loki shook his head.

“No. Today was just…unpleasant.”

Down to a pair of trousers, Thor came to a rest beside Loki, brushing his fingers down Loki’s chest. “I’m sorry about delaying the trip to Jotunheim, but I believe it is best for all parties.”

Loki sighed, absently waving a hand. “Yes, yes, I know.”

A beat of silence. Loki turned to see Thor staring at him in question, concern in those blue eyes that Loki came to adore. For a man who might not have been subtle himself, Thor had the uncanny ability of knowing when something else was going on with Loki, something that others might not see. The fact that he didn’t pressure Loki to speak made a world of difference.

Turning his head away, he closed his eyes. “Thor. I fear for our child.”

Thor moved in an instant, grasping onto Loki’s arm so tightly he expected a bruise. “What’s wrong? What happened, Loki?”

Loki pulled his arm back with a growl. “That hurt. Nothing is wrong, not that I know of. But.”

How to phrase this?

Loki rolled onto his side so that they were face-to-face. “Thor. You know I’m small for my kind, right? A runt.”

Thor nodded, and Loki continued. “I’m small, but should our child’s genes favor my lineage…the child won’t be small. You saw my brothers, my father. You saw how tall they are. Jotun babies, in turn, are very large compared to most. Should my child be a giant, my body will not be able to support the size toward the end of my term.”

Admitting those words made Loki sick, as if verbalizing them somehow jinxed his child. He could not hide the fear from his eyes, not completely, and Thor must have noticed it, judging by the way he swallowed. “But there is a chance our child will not be a giant, right?”

Loki feebly nodded. “Correct. He or she could take after you and be the size of an Asgardian child, which my body can handle.”

“If not?” Thor asked, the words hesitantly spilling from his lips.

Loki closed his eyes again. “The child or I, or even both, will die.”

He could feel the heartbeat of his child stronger than ever now. Perhaps he instilled fear into him or her.

When he opened his eyes again, Thor stroked the back of his hand down Loki’s cheek. It took all of Loki’s self-control to not tear up.

“I have faith, Loki. It will turn out okay.”

Barely mustering a nod, Loki slunk forward so he could nuzzle into Thor’s neck, sighing when Thor wrapped his arm around him, keeping him close. A moment of silence passed where Loki just breathed, trying to calm himself down. The familiar weight and scent of Thor helped ease his nerves.

Thor broke the silence with a question. “How do you give birth, anyway?”

The question, so innocent and confused and out of place, left Loki choking on a laugh. He laughed hard and long until tears finally welled in his eyes, dripping down his cheeks and on Thor’s skin.

“I don’t understand,” Thor said, drawing back. Loki wiped his face with a smile.

“Oh, Thor. You don’t ask how you got me pregnant without me having a vagina, but you question how I give birth?” Loki said.

Thor frowned. Loki shook his head.

“I mean no offense. Jotun give birth by slashing our midsection open.”

The look on Thor’s face was priceless. Disgust and fear painted his face, eyes widened like a bug’s. “But how will you survive that?”

“We use a special sword of ice to slash the belly. It makes for a clean cut that heals easily. Jotun are one with ice, in a sense, so the wound will not linger. I will heal in a matter of days,” Loki explained.

“And you will be well enough to slash yourself open?”

“Usually, the partner of the Jotun giving birth does the cutting. But given the circumstance, I can cut myself open.”

The ease which he said that must have bothered Thor, given the way he swallowed hard, but he did not refute it. Instead, he drew Loki close to him again, cupping the back of his skull with one large hand.

“My beautiful, strong Queen,” Thor sighed. Loki just purred under the attention.

\--

The day of the announcement arrived. Once the sun began to set, Thor and Loki presented themselves on a balcony of the castle, where the Asgardians gathered beneath.

“Today is a glorious day for Asgard,” Thor boomed. “We gathered you here to day to announce that Loki is four months pregnant.”

The cheers were deafening. Loki stood strong and tall beside Thor, head held high.

“Tonight, we feast in celebration of our future child, whom we shall meet in eight months time. I ask for peace and privacy for Loki during this time,” Thor said.

Another round of cheering. Loki said nothing, just flashed the cool, regal smile he had been trained to give since childhood. Politics. All such a flashy show.

When he felt an arm nudge his side, he turned to glance at Thor in surprise. They did not rehearse Loki addressing the crowd. But Thor gave a nod, and Loki licked his lips, struggling to think of what to say. When he turned back to the crowd, it was with another smile and a welcoming gesture of his hands.

“It is an honor to give Asgard an heir, but even more of an honor and joy to begin a family. Thor and I are delighted to have a child, and I look forward to welcoming him or her into this world and one day ascending the throne.”

A beat of silence. The possibility of a her, ascending the throne? Loki’s smile broadened.

“Let us now celebrate this momentous occasion.”

\--

Dinner was an uproarious event, as was expected. Loki had no idea how much mead and wine had been brought to the tables, but the sound of song and drunken revelry filled the air in no time. Loki watched with a fond smile as Thor spoke with Volstagg and a blond man, Fandral, who both drunkenly congratulated the King over and over.

A tap to his shoulder drew his attention away from the scene, and he looked upon the face of a smiling Sif.

“Congratulations, Your Highness,” Sif said. “Your child will be strong and wise, just like the parents. And striking, I’m sure.”

Loki smiled. “Thank you.” 

He offered the seat beside him, which Sif accepted with a polite bow of her head. Together they watched the antics of the men and women, content to sit in their own silence. When Sif did speak next, she leaned over an inch toward Loki, her words for him alone.

“I suspect you will continue with your work with the women, right?” She sounded hopeful. Loki smiled again, a tinge of sadness crossing his face.

“Oh, yes. The war goes ever on,” he said, not without a hint of regret for that fact.

With a soft look in understanding, they turned back to the crowd that spoke only of a future heir, a future prince.

Male or female, Loki wondered how he could bring a child into a world such as this.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? I actually updated twice in a week? And this chapter is 4,000 words?! Gasp! But yes, it's true! :D I plotted out the remainder of this fanfic in more detail, and that inspired me to write another chapter. I also detailed my personal headcanon for Jotun biology in this chapter, which at first was way too complicated. Hopefully it makes sense.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy! Thanks for being the best fans. <3

As it turned out, Sif was not the only one who questioned if Loki would continue to work despite his condition. Loki could practically see the councilmen beam in their own smug satisfaction with the news, even though it did cause a speed bump in the Jotunheim mission. In their minds, A pregnant Loki was a Loki who would stay out of their hair and forgo his mission in favor of staying close to his quarters and tending to his health.

But Loki refused to let his condition stop him from doing what he loved and what he felt he needed to do. And so Loki continued his normal morning routine of making an appearance in the palace, greeting civilians and listening to their questions and concerns. Many asked about his pregnancy; the bolder ones asked about Jotun anatomy and how he physically carried the child, while other simply congratulated him and asked how he felt and if there was anything that they could do to assit him. But there was a common topic upon their tongues: the gender of the baby and whether or not he could tell if the baby was a boy or a girl. Those questions he met with a curl of his lip, a humorless smile that made most think twice about asking another question of the sort. Loki gave a cool retort in return about how his main concern was about bearing a healthy child, regardless of the gender, which no, he could not decipher and would not know until the birth. Some took the hint and drop the topic, but others sent him a sympathetic look and tell him that 'if it's not a boy the first time, you can always try again.'

Try again. As if any child from his body would be a mistake, an error that needed to be scratched out on paper and replaced with a better version. The worst part, in Loki's eyes, was the number of women who made these kinds of comments to him. Loki did not necessarily blame them for the way they seemed turned against their own sex. How could he? They grew up in a world that said that women were good, but did not belong in certain areas of the political and public sphere. Women associated with men well enough and may not have cognitively acknowledged themselves as inferior, but they accepted so many of the lies and misogyny they were fed at birth as truth.

Loki could not blame them, but that did not mean that he did not scorn the system that made women feel this way. That's why, pregnant or not, he could not put his work on the back burner. As long as there Asgardians, men and women alike, who thought that a first-born baby girl would be an 'unlucky break', Loki had work to do.

And work he did. Amongst the occasional meetings with the Asgardian council he took part in, Loki set up various meetings with women at their residences, just like he did before he became pregnant. The one he currently attended had to be one of the largest ones to date, with women and a few men filling the living room, each taking notes and suggesting ways they could help the cause. Loki tapped the end of his pen against his cheek, thinking about what his next play should be this time. Several of the other women already had projects that they had been working on: some were mentors who offered to teach their female pupils crafts and studies they may not have considered before, others had connections to the stables and offered to teach young girls how to ride and basic battle skills that took place on horses. Loki wanted to take on another aspect of political culture, given he had access to resources that the other women did not. He needed to make the most of his position and use it to benefit the cause.

A thought came to mind. "How did the members of the council reach their position?"

All eyes turned to Loki, and Brynja spoke up. "They are chosen by the King. King Thor elected not to remove any of the current council members, so the ones you meet with are all from his father, Odin."

Loki twirled his pen with a frown. "So whoever is king always chooses men?"

One of the women, a pretty redhead with blue eyes and a gentle face, responded. "It is tradition, yes. The King selects men who he is close to, usually older ones who have retired from battle. They usually fought with him in wars or have shown other such knowledge or expertise that would qualify them for the position of an adviser."

Leaning back in his seat, Loki placed a hand on his swollen belly and held back an exasperated sigh. That explained why the council only consisted of men. Male warriors vastly outnumbered the number of female warriors, and given how female warriors like Sif were not given their proper dues, of course the kings only chose men and ignored the women. It left a sour taste in Loki's mouth.

"That needs to be changed. I'm tired of staring at a group of ignorant old men with archaic views," Loki said, attention turning to each person in the room. "Of course, I don't want to put women on the council just for the sake of having women. We'll need to find women with the same knowledge base and interest in politics, regardless of their age and veteran status. Does anyone have any suggestions as to who could be possible candidates?"

The men and women turned to each other, and the way so many frowned and shook their heads made Loki's stomach drop. When it became clear that no one had any immediate suggestions, he gave a wave of his hand.

"You do not have to give me names at this very moment. If you think of anyone later, please let me know. Speak to your friends and neighbors and see if they have any suggestions, too. I'd like to incorporate women as soon as possible," Loki said.

The redhead from earlier rose her voice again. "It may be hard to convince some women, Your Highness. While many would welcome a woman onto the council and see her as a role model, the backlash from others may dissuade her from staying on the council, or even joining it in the first place."

A handful of women nodded in agreement. Undeterred, Loki sat straighter in his seat as he addressed the group. "I understand your point, and I fully expect there to be backlash. But we cannot let the inevitable voices of outrage stop us. If we refuse to act simply because some believe what we are doing is outlandish - and believe me, there's plenty who think so - then we will never accomplish anything. I'm not suggesting we force someone against their will. All I'm saying is that we should not let fear override what is right."

Clapping and a few rallying cries followed the speech, which sent tendrils of adrenaline running through his veins as he smiled, invigorated by the response he received. Although he help the political power in the room, the women here held the real power to make change happen. Only by rallying together and supporting the cause could they truly bring change to Asgard. Even if Loki changed laws and traditions, the changes would be meaningless if the women themselves did not take the message and intent to heart. Seeing them here, beaming and with fierce determination in their eyes, gave Loki hope.

Just as he was about to address the room again, a wave of dizziness stopped him in his tracks. Sinking into his seat, he closed his eyes with a shaky breath, willing it to pass. When he slowly opened his eyes again, he saw the crowd staring at him in concern.

"Your Highness, you can rest if you'd like," Brynja said. Loki offered her a thin smile. So far, they had been meeting for nearly two hours, and while Loki wanted to stay as long as he could, he had to admit that he could use a break. But oh, how stubbornness would refuse him rest! The meeting would not last too much longer, so he wanted to tough it out, if he could.

"I'm fine, but thank you," Loki said.

Lífa, the woman who trained girls on horseback, shook her head. "Really, Your Highness. We can handle the rest of the meeting."

Loki gazed at her hard and long, studying the resolute edges to her warm, brown eyes, and the determined smile she wore like a badge of honor. He turned to the others, noting their similar enthusiastic smiles and proud postures. Their eagerness to lead discussions themselves and enact their own projects struck the Queen; though he had the final political power at the end of the day, the women made it clear that they were not only willing, but wanted to hold the reigns of their future. It was the kind of fortitude and passion that he always hoped would be born from this movement, and he did not want to get in their way or impede their process.

And so Loki smiled, content to leave these capable women and men to their own devices. He rose to his feet slowly, hand supporting his belly as he looked to each woman and man in kind.

"Very well. I wish you all the best, and please inform me of any major decisions," he said.

They exchanged gratitude and bows, and Loki left the house with a swell of pride.

\--

Loki's only previous experience with pregnancy came from witnessing other pregnant Jotun back at his home, and that prepared him very little for his own pregnancy. The Jotun always appeared so graceful in public, carrying their child with pride and without any noticeable ailment. But now that Loki was pregnant, he realized that the other Jotun either had very easy pregnancies, or they were very good actors. Aside from the occasional dizzy spell, Loki endured a number of symptoms as his pregnancy progressed. His belly had swollen to the point to where sleeping and even sitting down had become uncomfortable, and he could forget about walking normally; he was certain that he looked like a fool as he waddled down the hallways each day. His feet ached, his appetite only seemed to have two gears (nonexistent or voracious), and really, he was ready for the next few months to fly by.

The pregnancy hormones not only affected his emotions and vital needs, but also his biology. His chest ached as his breasts formed, which would disappear after the child reached a certain age. It was an uncomfortable, foreign pressure, and sometimes even breathing would make his chest sting with pain. Altogether, Loki had some days where he felt like he was glowing, and other days when he felt like a bloated, beached whale. 

Today happened to be one of the latter. Sprawled out on the bed at night, Loki covered his eyes with his arm as he tried not to focus on the pressure and his aching feet. Thor sat by his side, rubbing his hand around Loki's stomach and down his legs in comfort.

"Thor, I'm miserable," Loki grumbled, as if Thor could magically make everything better. He couldn't, of course, but he did put up with Loki's griping and requests, which helped in its own ways.

"You're over half-way there," Thor said in an effort to be helpful, but that only made Loki groan again.

"The next five months will be even worse. Honestly, I don't know how the Jotun at home made this seem so easy," Loki said.

Thor hummed at that, his hand traveling lower to caress one of Loki's swollen feet. "You said Jotun are intersex, so they can all become pregnant?"

Moving his arm off of his eyes, Loki peered down at his husband through tired, half-opened eyes. Thor’s face held a softness to it, a look that he only wore around Loki when he could ease down his guard. It was a look that Loki found himself adoring.

"Yes. We are considered intersex, but it's more of an umbrella term than anything else. If you really want to get specific, Jotun have two different possible sexes at birth: male genitalia with a womb, or only a womb. And of course, sex and gender are not the same, so there's that to bear in mind too,” Loki said.

Thor's hand halted as he blinked. And blinked again. Loki cracked a smile. "Confused?"

Thor resumed rubbing as he smiled too. "A little. It sounds very complicated where you are from."

Loki gave a meager shrug. "Not really. Not to us, anyway. But I suppose from an outsider's standpoint, yes, it could be. It’s different, if nothing else."

There was another long pause as Thor tried to digest this new information. The way he kept glancing over at Loki and subtly bit his lip hinted that he had another question, but was too afraid or embarrassed to ask. Another slinky smile splayed on Loki's face.

"I know you have another question, Thor. I can see it written all over your face. Just go ahead and ask it."

Caught off-guard, Thor's mouth opened and immediately closed. It took a moment for him to gather his courage and try to keep his expression as nonchalant as possible as he asked, "When you say a Jotun with a womb only... Does that mean no external genitalia?"

"Correct."

“Oh.”

Another pause, another bout of blinking and shifty looks, another unasked question. Loki rolled his eyes.

"No, Thor, Jotun do not have vaginas. I know that's what you're wondering,” he said flatly.

Thor laughed, bowing his head for a moment in a failed attempt to conceal the flush that touched his cheeks. "I see. Why the diversity in sexes, if I may ask? What necessitated those with male genitalia to be born with wombs?"

Loki waved his hand with a sniff. "Oh, there's a whole set of mythology as to why we are what we are. Some say that at one point, Jotun with only wombs became so few in number that Jotun evolved other ways to carry children, such as biologically male Jotun being born with wombs so they could impregnate and become impregnated in turn. Others say that since Jotun fertility can be weak at the best of times, both sexes needed to be able to carry children in order to improve the chances of continuing our species. But those are just legends. I don't know why we have the diversity, but here we are.”

Thor chuckled, low and throaty, and that stirred something wild in Loki, cock twitching in interest. 

"I see. And this is all seen as normal? No one sex or gender is ostracized or considered strange?" Thor asked, swirling his thumb over the top of Loki's foot. Loki barely suppressed a shiver.

"No. Most of the population consists of those who are biologically male. The number of Jotun with only a womb are very, very small. They're very rare, and very prized. Other than that, there is no real barriers between us. We view each other as equals, and we do not find it strange if a Jotun with male genitalia identifies as female, or one with a womb only to identify as male. We care less about what genitalia an individual has or what gender they identify as, and more about who they are and what they are capable of accomplishing," Loki said.

With a hum, Thor maneuvered himself forward, propping himself up by placing his hands on either side of Loki's stomach. His eyes twinkled with mirth.

"Do you think our child will have your biology or mine?" he asked.

Running his hands up Thor's arms, Loki made noncommittal sound. "It could be either way, really. Won't know until he or she is born."

Thor glanced down at Loki's belly and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of it. Loki squirmed in place, struggling to divert Thor's attention away from his stomach. When Thor peered up, Loki frowned and tried to nudge Thor away with his leg.

"I know I'm huge. Don't draw attention to it," he said. Thor furrowed his brow with a laugh in disbelief.

"You're not huge. And if you think you're any less stunning, then you are less clever than I thought," Thor said.

Loki curled his lip. "And you are blinder than I thought, foolish husband."

He knew that he was on the verge of picking an unnecessary fight, but the words spilled out on their own, unbidden and poisonous. Prepared for an argument, Loki was surprised to see Thor remain calm, although he still wore a frown. Shaking his head, he leaned down again, lips brushing over Loki's stomach with each low, sultry word.

"Let me show you how wrong you are."

Loki wanted to protest, he really did, but when Thor's hands raked up his sides and his lips ventured lower and lower, all he could do was exhale a breathy sound and surrender to the pleasure that Thor brought with his mouth and hands.

Later, when sweat clung to his brow and his breathing fell labored from being blissfully fucked out, Loki would purr, "Alright, you win that round."

\--

If Loki hoped the remainder of his pregnancy would go smoothly enough in the face of councilmen who were leery about Loki at best, then he was sadly mistaken.

At first, it was little things that seemed out of place. They would deny Loki water during their meetings, claiming that they had a no food and drink policy during meetings, and so he would have to wait until the break times to drink water. Though he found the rule absurd, Loki did not have proof that he was the only one be singled out, so he said nothing.

But then the attacks became more apparent. Loki needed to stay in cooler temperatures, as his body did not handle heat well and could put the baby's life at risk. But when he brought this up to two of the councilmen, they shook their heads and said that they could not change the temperature and make the other Asgardians uncomfortable just because Loki could not handle the temperature for two hours. Some days, Loki had to leave the meetings early because he needed to cool down. The council always shot him dirty looks whenever he announced his exit, as if he was causing them considerable damage by leaving twenty minutes early.

But the worst came when he reached his eighth month of pregnancy, when they were reworking laws in regard to the royal army (a law change that Loki suggested, he was pleased to say) and the guards barred him from entry.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Loki snapped.

The ever-impervious guards did not flinch. “The council does not require your attendance today.”

“Not require my presence? I’m the one who raised this motion!” Loki said, wincing as pain shot through his stomach. He couldn’t press himself too hard, but holding back his anger simply wasn’t an option. Not anymore.

“And they will decide on the issue amongst themselves, just as they always have. They will do this without you because they do not need you today,” one of the guards, a bulky man with a rumbling voice, said.

“No, they will do this because I’m pregnant,” Loki spat. “I’ve had enough of this.”

Tapping into his magic, which was a little rusty, he had to admit, Loki projected three illusion of himself long enough to distract the guards. They turned from one illusion to the next with battled glances, and Loki used their hesitance to his advantage, sneaking past them and throwing open the door of the court. He ignored their surprised cries as he prowled forward, allowing the doors to slam behind him.

The court fell silent, the entire room’s attention turning to Loki as he seethed, body trembling from anger as he looked around at their wide eyes and disgruntled faces. Others looked sheepish and sad, as if they did not want this to happen in the first place; maybe some of the men actually disagreed with their ignorant colleagues. And then there was Thor, who seemed relieved to see Loki.

“I refused to be prohibited from this meeting,” Loki said, voice echoing off the walls as he planted his feet firmly on the ground.

“Prohibited?” Thor echoed, turning then to the men in the court who had suddenly take great interest in everything else in the room aside from Loki, who just sneered.

“Haven’t you told your King, gentlemen? Of how you do everything in power to keep me away because of my condition?”

“That is a lie!” Stringy Blond man cried out.

“Is it? How else do you explain denying me things that I need in order to keep myself and my baby safe?” Loki asked, his voice a snarl.

“Enough!”

Thor’s voice boomed over all the rest. For a brief moment, Loki expected to be reprimanded by Thor, and just the thought of being publically humiliated left his blood running cold. And oh, Thor was indeed very angry, but he directed his ire toward his court.

“If I am to hear that Loki is being mistreated or discriminated against in any way, I will have you banished. Do I make myself clear?” Thor said. The men murmured their understanding. Loki inclined his head toward Thor in thanks as he crossed the room to take his seat. 

“Now, since Loki suggested this meeting in the first place, I would like it if he started us off with giving us his input,” Thor said.

Thor gestured to Loki, who offered the room a cool, thin smile. “Thank you. Let’s begin.”

\--

Later in the evening, Loki and Thor spent some time in their mostly constructed nursery, fixing a few of the directions and placements of furniture. The baby would arrive in just a few, short months, and given everything else that Loki had on his plate, he wanted to make sure that everything would be ready. That, and he liked working with Thor on this project. Something about watching Thor handle stuffed animals in his huge hands and get paint on his face brought Loki much-needed cheer.

“You should have come to me earlier, Loki. I would have put an end their actions immediately,” Thor said, placing a pillow in the crib.

“I did not want it to come to that. I would have thought they’d show me more respect than that. Naïve of me, I suppose,” Loki said, sitting down on the soft chair next to the crib.

Thor sent Loki a sympathetic look. “No. At least it is solved.”

Tipping his head back, Loki closed his weary eyes with a sigh. “Yes, let’s hope it stays that way.”

“Mmhmm. And for all other future pregnancies,” Thor said.

That got Loki’s attention. He lifted his head back up, staring at Thor in amused surprise. “‘All other?’ By the gods, Thor, how many kids do you have in mind?”

Thor gave a cheeky grin, shrugging his shoulders playfully. “Oh, I don’t know. Seven or eight?”

Loki cackled hard enough that he wheezed. “Perhaps if you grow a womb to carry and birth them.”

The room filled with their laughter at that, and Thor leaned down to press his forehead against Loki’s in an affectionate nuzzle. Loki leaned in to brush their noses together.

“Let’s get this one delivered safely first,” he said, voice barely a whisper as he placed his hand on his belly.

Thor murmured an agreement and placed his hand on top of Loki’s, their fingers entwining. Beneath their joined hands, Loki could feel the baby’s heart beat faster.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update again, yay! This chapter is a bit shorter than the previous ones, but it's mainly serving to move the plot along. Again, thank you all for your amazing support and kind words. <333 You guys and your feedback really inspire me to write more.
> 
> Be warned, things are going to get rough in the next few chapters or so. Fasten your seat belts, folks.

Down to the last few months, each week that passed heightened Loki's anxiety about the impending birth. The threat of the child being too large for his womb remained a very real concern, and these final months would be the make it or break it point. Every morning before he rose from bed, he would lie completely still with closed eyes, reaching out to his unborn child and trying to determine its health and size. So far, everything seemed to be in order. Nothing struck him as worrisome or out of place, but he always feared that since this was his first pregnancy, he might have been misreading the signs or missing something vital. Times like these, he wished that he was back in Jotunheim and could seek the advice of other Jotun. No one in Asgard possessed the kind of wisdom and knowledge that he desperately needed.

For the first time in a long time, Loki felt alone.

Of course, Loki was far from physically alone. A plethora of Asgardians trailed after him whenever he appeared in public, watching him like a hawk, as if they expected him to shatter into a million pieces at any given moment. No matter how many times Loki told them that he was fine and quite capable of handling himself, they always insisted on accompanying him to wherever he was going. And if he didn't have concerned 'helpers' following him around like ducklings after their mother, he had a crowd of civilians flocking around him and bombarding him with questions: when the baby was due, how he was feeling, and oh, wasn't he just so excited? Though he knew that they meant well, they tested Loki's patience more and more each day. When it became too difficult to keep the political smile on his face, he excused himself from the crowd as soon as he could, claiming he had important business to take care of at the moment. Loki never considered it lying, since he figured that his mental health was a very important item of business, especially since he was so in tune with his child. The last thing he wanted was for the baby to be affected by Loki's health.

He relied on his safe haven in the palace gardens more than ever. After shaking off the guards and inquisitive spectators, he retired to the gardens in the evening, sprawled out on his back in the grass beside the flowers, eyes lifted to the heavens. Some nights, he passed the time by talking to his child, describing the beautiful sights in the sky and explaining their significance. He told his child how much he wanted to meet him or her, and how he would do everything in his ability to ensure its health and safety. The child moved in his womb, and Loki smiled at each little punch or kick. Though he could not be certain, he liked to believe that the child could hear his voice and recognize it. 

Thor found Loki like that in the gardens one evening, towering over Loki's resting form with concern in his eyes. "Won't you come inside?"

Loki shook his head, which rested on his long, fanned out hair. "No."

Thor grunted, and Loki could tell that his refusal irked Thor, but he didn't push. Instead, he made another offer. "Can I join you, then?"

The worried tone made Loki pause, but after a second of faltering, he gave another regretful shake of his head. "I would like to be alone."

A hint of confusion flash on Thor's face, but he nodded all the same. "All right." 

Loki watched his husband disappear without another word. He did not drive Thor away out of spite, and while he knew that maybe Thor needed some support right now too, Loki was too selfish to go and ask. Right now, he wanted to take care of himself first and foremost before trying to help anyone else. When he reigned in his own mental state, he could return to the palace and check on Thor.

Turning his head back up to the sky, he exhaled a long, steady breath and closed his eyes. He did his best to focus on the feel of the grass prickling his bare arms, the gentle caress of the wind on his face - anything other than the aching pressure in his gut and the insistent anxiety in his mind. Just as his heart calmed and regulated, so did that of his child. His lips twitched in a little smile. No matter how many times he felt his child, the soft affirmations of its presence never failed to amaze him, and he spent time imagining what his child would be like. Would it be a boy or a girl, or perhaps intersexual, like himself? Would the child inherit Thor's pale complexion, or would Loki's genes dominate? Would he or she bathe in the light like a child of the sun god, or prefer the cooler climates instead? Speculating about the little things kept his mind too busy to contemplate everything that could go wrong.

He did not return home until late.

\--

By the time only two weeks remained, the fear of the child being too large passed; had that been the case, then Loki would have been in excruciating pain. All the same, Loki was more than ready for the baby to come out.

The weight, pain, and hormones made Loki cranky more often than not, and he had even less tolerance for bullshit than normal. His gaze held an unspoken challenge during court, a silent message not to cross him unless they desired to be publicly called out and condemned. So far, it hadn't come to that. Ever since the confrontation in the court, no one dared to slight Loki in any way, keeping their distaste limited to disgruntled looks from time to time. It was almost a pity that no one made any wise cracks or tried to ban him; Loki would have very much liked to blow off some steam by putting them in their place. But his own bitterness aside, he had to admit that it was nice to be able to conduct business without any discriminating hiccups.

On the days when he had no business to attend to, which wasn't very often, he noted, Loki spent most of his time relaxing in his room in order to regain strength. Today was one such morning. Happy to sleep in for once, Loki sprawled out on the bed with limbs everywhere like some kind of blue, swollen octopus, content to doze in and out as he listened to the soft shuffling of Thor preparing for the day. Loki's current state had been robbing him of sleep as of late, and he looked forward to catching up on some well-needed rest.

Right when he was about to fall back asleep for good, a hand shook his shoulder. Grumbling, Loki wiggled in bed in an effort to escape the hand, but the soft shaking persisted until Loki had no choice but to open his eyes. Thor stood above him, an apology in his eyes. Loki sleepily blinked at him. He didn't like where this was going.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you, but I need you to attend the morning meeting for me," Thor said. Loki gave an unintelligible noise, a cross between a groan and a whine as he buried his face in the blankets.

"Why? You told me that I could skip out on this one," Loki mumbled, voice muffled from the thick sheets.

"I know, but another emergency meeting has been called and my presence is required. An aide came by while you were still sleeping. Instead of cancelling the original meeting, I thought you could go in my place," Thor said.

Closing his eyes, Loki willed this to just be a dream. While normally he would jump on the chance to conduct a meeting all on his own - a rare, if not unheard of feat for a Queen - he wished it did not fall on a day that robbed him of much needed rest. And though he did not want to risk his health, he supposed that a few hours out and about wouldn't kill him or the baby.

"Fine, fine," Loki said, his face still buried in the blankets. Thor pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

"Thank you."

Thor's heavy footsteps resounded in the room, followed by the opening and closing of the door. Silence returned to the room, only broken by Loki's sigh in defeat. Pushing the covers off his body, he forced himself onto his feet. One hand supporting his large belly, he shuffled across the room in search of something appropriate to wear. Since becoming pregnant, his wardrobe had to be adjusted to fit his growing body; the clothes were less luxurious, but still formal enough to signify his royal status. Loki threw on the first decent looking one he found, and without meticulously combing his hair and primping in the mirror as he so often did, he waddled out of his chambers and toward the court.

Loki knew his frumpy appearance probably strayed far from the regal image he was supposed to uphold, but he couldn't be bothered, not even when guards rushed to his side and asked if there was a problem. Waving them off, he murmured a quiet word of appreciation and pressed forward; he did not trust his grumpy, sleep-deprived mouth to utter anything else, not until he got to the meeting. It was difficult to put on a perky, cheerful face when his body ached and all he could think about was cocooning in his blankets for the next ten hours.

When he arrived at the court, the two guards drew out their swords in means of barring Loki. Loki closed his eyes and prayed for the patience he knew he did not have.

"Allow me access," he said flatly, eyes remaining closed. When he was given silence in return, he cracked his eyes opened in a heated glare. The guards remained impassive.

"This is a meeting for the King," one of the guards said.

"And he's busy at the moment, so I'm taking over," Loki snapped.

When the guards still did not move, Loki prowled forward with a snarl, relishing in the ways the guards' eyes widened just a fraction.

"Listen to me. I'm tired, sleep deprived, and in no mood for this utter _shit_ you insist on putting me through. Step aside now unless you wish to have frostbite for the remainder of the day," Loki said, each word a cold demand.

Their steadfast hold on the swords faltered, and at last the guards stepped aside without another word. Loki grumbled a word in thanks as he entered the entered the court room. The room itself fell quiet when Loki arrived, the members rising to their feet out of respect. Loki waved them down as he took his place.

"All right, let's get started," he said, thumbing through a few manuscripts.

"Your Highness? Is King Thor not attending?" one of the men asked.

"No, he has a prior engagement, but rest assured, he's fine. I'm going to lead the meeting today. Unless there's any problems with that," Loki said, arching a brow as he looked across the room in search of dissenters. To his shock, no one protested. The same man just nodded.

"Yes, let's start," he said.

The meeting went without a hitch. There were even some moments when the councilmen were nodding at his words like they actually valued what Loki had to say. It was a surprising change of pace. Loki couldn't be sure if they acted so complacent because they actually did gain an ounce or two of respect for Loki's wisdom and knowledge, or if they overheard the outside argument with the guards and decided not to test him. Loki placed his bets on the second option.

Even so, it was nice to leave the meeting without being in a foul(er) mood, and the compliments he received lifted his spirits for the rest of the day.

\--

When they were down to a matter of days before his due date, Loki invited Sif to visit the nursery. She observed the decorations and the layout of the room with a light smile, her hands dusting across the crib in appreciation.

"You've done a fine job, Your Highness," she said, reaching in to straighten the pillows. Loki preened a little under the attention.

"Oh, I can't take all the credit. Thor helped too," Loki said.

Sif shook her head with a soft laugh. "Hard to believe that the same man who used to be unable to take care of his horse in the most basic of ways will be a father in a few days."

Scrunching his nose, Loki leaned back in his chair with a soft 'humph'. "Well, let us hope that his paternal skills have evolved some since childhood."

"They have, I am certain," she laughed. "He will make a wonderful father, if not a very protective one. If your child is a girl, I fear for any potential suitor she will have down the road."

The thought of Thor chasing away lovestruck youngsters with a throw of his hammer brought a smile to Loki's face. "I'll be right beside him on that."

"That will be a sight to see," Sif said.

Loki chuckled at that, his head craning to the side to rest it more on the cushioned headrest. The smile slowly wilted from his face.

"Should I bring a girl into this world, be it now or later down the road, I pray that Asgard will be more advanced than it is now," he quietly admitted.

Sif gave a sympathetic nod of her head. "I know. She will have many battles she will have to face. And should your child be a boy, he'll be expected to have the same, ignorant machismo so many men hold in high regard. He will have to be taught to not only distance himself from those values, but to actively fight against them."

Loki slumped in his seat and rubbed his bleary eyes. "I'm tired just thinking about it. The world just couldn't be simple, could it?"

Sif's smile was wry. "Nothing is ever simple."

\--

Loki stayed inside his quarters the next few days, safe from the noisy public which asked far too many probing questions about his health and if the child had been born yet. While he knew that it was for the safety of his child, the cabin fever did him no favors. He paced around his room until his feet hurt too much to keep standing, and then he spent the rest of the days resting in bed. Thor doted on him between the business he conducted, always making sure he had all the supplies and comfort he needed. Now, Loki favored Thor's company over solitude. Left alone, Loki entertained too many fears about the health of his child. He never admitted these fears to Thor again, too afraid of creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Whenever Thor asked why Loki shook in the middle of the night, he always just said he was cold. Thor never asked how a frost giant became cold, nor did Loki speak to him about the horrific nightmares that left him gasping for air.

\--

Jotunheim's culture's rich set of lore and legends included a set of superstitions that the Jotun stringently heeded. One such superstition involved the event of birth. The saying went that any child born at night would retain darkness all of its life.

So when Loki woke in the middle of the night to a terrible, clawing burning in his gut, he felt his heart drop as he prayed for it to be a fluke. _Not now, anytime but now!_ But when the burning continued with enough ferocity to leave him crying out in pain, he reached out to Thor and shook him as hard as he could.

"Thor! It's time, Thor, it's time!"

A moonless night, no light shone through their windows as Thor scrambled up in bed to aid his panicking husband. There was only black, as far as the eye could see.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit strange and written differently. Also, warnings for vague depictions of birth.
> 
> In which Loki firmly believes in his people's legends, and the birth unfolds.

In the past, Loki witnessed other Jotun entering labor and listened to their growls and cries in agony; he thought he gained a reasonable idea of what to one day expect, should he bear children. Now, left blindsided by the pain, he understood that being a bystander could never prepare him for the extent of suffering he had to endure. The crippling pain pulsed in his gut, tremors creeping across his skin like spiders.

Loki always had faith in his race's hardy nature. But on this evening, he wondered if his body would fail him, and he would succumb to pain and die on a moonless night.

His vision fogged and ears clouded, and it took enormous effort to focus on his surroundings. The room spun like a rickety carousel, and how he managed to keep the contents of his stomach down eluded him, as the swirling colors increased his nausea. And through the haze of it all, he heard Thor's voice calling his name.

Loki narrowed his eyes, trying to focus on Thor's blurry face and make out the urgent words. _Loki Loki Loki_ , rang Thor's voice, booming off the ceiling - or maybe that's just how Loki imagined it. _I'm here, how, help, called healers_ , all words that ran together in Loki's scrambled mind. Loki attempted a shake of his head, but aborted the movement when it only intensified his dizziness.

"They can't help," he rasped.

Carefully, he closed his eyes and unfolded his body (when did he curl up in such a tight ball?) and extended his legs. Thor reached forward, grabbing onto Loki's shoulder to keep him still on the bed. Unable to lurch away, Loki hissed in protest, a low sound through his clenched teeth.

"Unless you want a liter of blood on the sheets, I suggest you let me go," Loki said, opening his eyes to slits to risk a glance at his husband. Thor eyes shone with fear in the dim lighting; even Loki could see that as Thor released his shoulder. 

Another spike of pain, and Loki curled forward, groaning. Head bowed, he tried to even out his panting, heavy breaths to no avail. 

"What's happening, Loki? What do we need to do?"

Thor's voice sounded like a far away dream. Loki smiled in the face of the pain, sweat trickling down his face. Thor's ignorance was Loki's own fault for not explaining exactly what would happen when he went into labor. A terrible error on Loki's part, that much he could admit.

"When Jotun are in, ah, labor, the child tries to, oh gods, break out. But it can't, it can't, nowhere to go, so...it, nngh, its body starts to emit energy. Cold and hot, and that's it, that's what causes the labor pain, the child, _ugh_ , letting you know it's ready. Gotta cut it out," Loki said.

His fingers clutched his swollen stomach. The child squirmed harder, perhaps sensing its mother's touch. Loki exhaled hard, silently willing the child to calm itself and hold on just a while longer.

"And it's ready to be removed immediately? Do we need to wait for a certain time?" Thor asked, worried.

Loki smiled. The baby kicked harder, another round of energy slicing through his skin like daggers.

"If we do not remove it, the child will kill me with its energy, and we both shall die."

The chamber doors flew opened, the slap of footsteps ringing out. Loki didn't dare lift his head to look, not trusting his disoriented senses. Several individuals entered, judging the number of voices that spoke, seeking instruction. The mattress shifted. Thor must have stood up with them.

"We have to prepare a place for the birth. We need to remove the child immediately. Go, now," Thor said, his strong voice issuing the clear order. The healers flew into action, barking orders out to one another. 

Panic. An empty night sky, no source of light, no no no _no_ \- 

Loki didn't realize he'd been crying out until he felt Thor grab onto his shoulders, his name urgently called. At last, Loki lifted his head, eyes wide with fear as his body shook from pain and from the ancient lore hanging over his head like a noose.

"Not yet, Thor, we can't," Loki pleaded. 

His vision dimmed, going black for two seconds. When it returned, he focused in on Thor's face. He looked just as frightened, if not more. Loki's heart beat wildly, and his child squirmed harder.

"We can't wait, Loki! Why would you want to wait?" Thor said, and the desperate exasperation in his voice only made Loki give a whining moan. 

"The child can't, ahh, be born yet. Not at night, Thor, not at night," he wheezed.

"Why?" Thor demanded. The single syllable reverberated off the walls.

Gulping down a breath, Loki forced his eyes to meet Thor's, needing Thor to understand the significance of what he was about to say.

"Children...born at night are a bad omen, are cursed," Loki said, voice stuttering. "It is Jotun superstition."

Thor made a sound that was between a laugh and a sigh in disbelief, his head shaking as he rubbed Loki's shoulders. "It's only a superstition, Loki. We have a superstition that being scolded by a squirrel leads to tremulous times, but no one in Asgard truly pays it heed!"

Clamoring at the door ushered in the healers' return. They moved quickly and spoke in stern, quiet voices amongst each other. Movement flashed out of the corner of Loki's eye, but he did not turn away from Thor, not even when hearing the rustling of fabric beside the bed. His vision flecked with spots and swirls, but Loki refused to look away.

"This is different, Thor. We heed our legends, and while I will budge on other matters, this is not a topic you can dissuade me from," Loki said. His tongue felt dry, each word more difficult than the last to properly enunciate.

Two healers paused at his side. “We’re ready to move Your Highness to this bed, if you please.”

“In a moment,” Thor said. His gaze never wavered from Loki’s weary, panicked face. “Give me one plausible reason why we should place weight on this myth, Loki.”

Frustration gave Loki a burst of energy, his voice raising, “Because it saved my life!”

The room fell still, Thor’s face paling with shock. Loki trembled in growing anger, his breathing contorting into sickly wheezing as he leaned back a fraction on the bed, using the hand not on his belly to better support his tired frame. 

“My mother…was not Laufey’s wedded mate, but a one-time lover. I was an unwanted pregnancy, at least by Laufey. My mother already had a difficult pregnancy – I didn’t grow right, was sickly.., Laufey always wanted to abort me, and regretted that he did not do so when my mother went into labor at night. He said it was proof that I was doomed to be a cursed child. But she held on and gave birth to me not at night, but at dawn. That’s what stopped Laufey from killing me. A child of the dawn, when it should have been of the night – a good omen for a sickly, runt of a child, that I would have more strength than my weak status would suggest. And indeed, that prophecy fulfilled itself.”

Speaking at length through the pain only served to further tire Loki, but he fought against the basic instinct to fall pliant to his body. Even as sweat dripped from his bow and his eyes threatened to shut, he pushed forth. “Don’t you see, Thor? The dawn saved me. Let it save our child, too.”

For a moment, no one said a word; the only sound in the room came from Loki’s labored breathing. At last, Thor gave Loki’s shoulder a squeeze. “The dawn did not save you, Loki. Your cruel father’s decision saved you. I disagree with the basis of this, and I wish more than anything that I could sway you, but I do not think you would forgive me if I forced you to birth now.”

Loki breathed a soft sound in agreement and relief. Thor’s hands tightened on Loki’s shoulders, forcing his attention again.

“But if we do this, you must promise me that you will tell me when you can no longer hold off. I do not want to risk your life and our child more than we must this eve,” Thor said. Loki gave a feeble sound, eyes closing in thanks.

“Yes, yes, anything,” he murmured. “I’ll let you know when I reach the edge.” Loki prayed with every fiber of his being that he could hold off until the dawn, that the child within him could wait before unleashing its final, fatal rounds of energy.

Together with the healers, Thor maneuvered Loki from their bed to the makeshift, clean bed of sheets where he would deliver his child. Every movement laced his system with pain, as his child interpreted the movement as a sign of its impending birth, and thus writhed and emitted caustic energy. Loki cried out until his throat became raw, the faint taste of blood touching his tongue. He crumpled on the sheets and stared at the ceiling through glassy eyes as the healers undressed him and covered his body with more sheets, leaving his stomach exposed.

“Loki?”

The word sounded so far away again that Loki wasn’t sure if he imagined it or not.

“Why are you unable to focus? Are you close?” Thor asked, his voice increasing when Loki did not respond right away. Loki exhaled hard, but did not look away from the ceiling.

“When in labor, we…drift out of consciousness. To protect us from the pain of delivery, you see. I need you to keep me awake, Thor. I have to be the one to make the incision. Can’t black out completely. Can you do that for me, Thor?”

Distantly, Loki scolded himself for not properly educating Thor on the process of his labor. Had they both been Jotun, the process would have been simple. But Loki had to do the work of two Jotun, and needed Thor to provide assistance.

Thor’s warm lips brushed Loki’s cold knuckles. The child soothed itself, for only a moment.

“Anything.”

\--

In the future, Loki would have no recollection of the next few hours. Jotun drifted borderline unconscious for a reason: the pain of the child and the ordeal of slicing open his stomach proved to be too traumatic to handle without any kind of pain remedy. Perhaps forgetting the next few hours was his body’s last line of defense.

Loki floated in and out of consciousness, staring at the ceiling through narrowed eyes as he gasped struggled against the sheets. His fingers dug in the sheets until his knuckles turned whiter than the threads he so desperately held. He sunk beneath wave after wave of pain, threatening to submerge himself completely and lose all hope.

Thor kept him afloat. Never once did he stray from Loki’s side, not even at the insistence of the healers that they would watch over the hurting Queen. Thor refused their offer each time, asking them instead for water and other supplies. He cooled Loki’s brow with wet towels, his watchful eyes keeping track of Loki’s symptoms, looking for visible changes in his vitals. 

Most of all, Loki listened to Thor’s voice.

He didn’t remember making the request, but Thor would later tell him that he begged to hear Thor’s voice. 

_What do you want me to say?_

_Anything._

And so Thor talked. He told Loki stories he never told him before. He told Loki the time when he and Fandral, just small children, first met Sif. They didn’t let her play with them because she was a girl. When she took them both down in a wrestling match, they changed their minds, and Sif forever became a part of their group.

He told Loki about the first time he saw him in Jotunheim – did he even know how beautiful he looked on that day? Thor had suitors, male and female alike, over the years, but no one ever looked at him the way Loki did in Jotunheim’s royal chambers, like Thor was a precious treasure that Loki wanted to jealously and lovingly guard for the rest of his days. 

He told Loki that even though he always teased those who used magic before, that it was actually a brilliant art that he himself could never grasp. Maybe Loki could teach him one day.

He told Loki that he was the best thing to ever happen to him. They would get through this, because Thor would not allow any other option.

And through the pain, Loki smiled, tired and broken.

\--

Although Loki struggled to focus and remain awake, instinct kept his body alert enough to recognize when he reached his limit. When the energy of the child drove through him like scalding water, he knew that he could wait no longer.

“It’s time,” he breathed, voice barely above a whisper.

Thor shuffled closer. Loki reached out for Thor blindly, unable to see beyond foggy shapes and colors. Thor grabbed onto Loki’s hand with more force than necessary, squeezing it tight as he murmured words of reassurance. Loki lifted his other hand and with a low groan, he forged a sword of ice that encased his arm. With the utmost care, Loki lowered the sword toward his swollen belly. His entire arm trembled, causing the razor sharp ice to quiver.

He paused. Loki’s eyes squeezed shut tight. With a deep inhale, he tried to lower the sword to his abdomen again, but he could not cease from shaking.

“Thor,” he rasped, “you have to guide me.”

“Guide you? Loki, I can’t – “

“You can,” Loki insisted. “I – I can’t do it alone. Jotun aren’t supposed to slice themselves open. My nerve makes my hand hesitate.”

Loki was thankful he could not see the look on Thor’s face, for he assumed it was nothing less than horrified. But still, Thor rumbled, “Aye.”

Thor took Loki’s ice-encased arm, carefully to avoid the sharp edge, and gradually lowered it to his stomach. Loki’s breathing quickened, his whole body shaking.

“Lower. Lower. Thor, I trust you.”

The edge kissed his stomach. Loki scarcely dared to breathe.

“I trust you.”

Together, they slid the daggered edge through Loki’s skin.

Loki screamed, and everything went black.

\--

Voices. Voices from so far away, like they called through miles of fog. 

His father’s words rumbled through the haze. 

_He should not have lived._

_But he has,_ his mother answered. _See how strong he cries._

_The light of the sun is upon his face. I will spare him._

_My son will prosper, and his light will outshine all your other sons combined. You will see._

The voices disappeared on the wind.

Through it all, he could hear Thor’s voice order the healers. The healers cried out in return

_There’s so much blood, he’s losing too much!_

His mind flooded with colors of gold, peaceful and soft.

_Quickly, move, quickly, there it is, can you reach it? Here it comes!_

Loki never stopped reaching. Perhaps that would be his downfall.

\--

Wailing pierced the air, and the colors darkened, slowly fading away to the realm of awakening.

_It’s a girl!_

A girl.

Loki whispered words of love, of apology, of how he was so sorry that he was bringing her into a world that still thought of her as lesser, that he had not done enough to make the world better for her, because she deserved everything and more.

But he wouldn’t stop reaching.

_Take her Thor, we must work to close the wound! But it’s so deep, we don’t have the right supplies._

With the last of his strength, Loki lifted his hand to his sliced gut, and a green gush of magic pulsed from his palm.

\--

Loki came to slowly, to the sound of a child babbling and warmth on his chest. When he opened his eyes and looked down, he stared into a twin pair of red.

She had his eyes, a rich ruby, and a lighter complexion of his skin, nearly a powder blue in shade. Tufts of pale, pale gold, nearly white-blonde in hue, sprang from her head. The first tendrils of the light of dawn broke through the window and shone upon her face. Loki managed a faint smile. She was beautiful, his daughter of the dawn.

Still, he knew her appearance would due her no favors in this unkind, judgmental world. More Jotun than Æsir in appearance, Loki foresaw a struggle in regard to her acceptance. But let the world try to tell him that this beautiful child he and Thor created was somehow lesser.

“She’s gorgeous,” Thor’s voice rumbled, warm lips pressing to Loki’s temple. “Have you thought of a name?”

One name repeated itself throughout his mind, called to him.

“ _Sigríðr_ ,” Loki breathed. “Sigrid?”

She was his beautiful, loved victory, and he had no doubt that she would be victorious in all things she desired.

“Sigrid. I like it,” Thor said. “Rest now, Loki. You did so well. I’ll be here.”

Holding his bundled child close to his chest, Loki allowed himself to drift off as the healers took away the soiled sheets and allowed the family their privacy. Loki fell asleep to the sound of Sigrid’s gurgling and Thor’s soft humming.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, apologies for the delay! Thor 2 seemed to stir up the fandom even more and bring on some new people, which is awesome. If any new Thorki fans stumble here, then welcome! :D
> 
> On a more serious note, there are a lot of things I wished I had added to previous chapters and other things I wish I could take out. There are several scenes I would have added and a few facts I would have gotten rid of. This is my first go at a lengthy story in a long time, and while I'm overall happy with how it's going so far, it's so frustrating to think of all these things I could have done! But alas, I suppose that's part of the writing process. Maybe I'll post some extended scenes in the future.
> 
> Also, this is the longest chapter to date. Hooray! Thanks for hanging in there with me, everyone. You all are the best. <3

Loki slept harder than he ever had before, delving in and out of a myriad of bizarre dreams. Pictures of his youth trickled into view like ripples on water: his mother's death, times spent with his older brothers, the way his father looked at him as if he was torn between being proud and disgusted of his bastard son who never should have seen the light of day. He remembered those the most, those withering, distant stares his father gave him when he was out training or at a meeting, as if Loki could not see them; or perhaps, because Loki could see them. They burned Loki to his core, even in his dreams.

_He'll never make it past his first week._

_He will outlive all of you. You will see._

Loki never knew if Laufey truly wished for his runt of a son to die, or if he intended for the harsh criticism to encourage him.

He never asked. Sometimes it was better not knowing the truth.

\--

The sound of cries stirred him from his slumber. His worn out body and maternal instincts warred with each other, torn between needing to regain his strength after the complicated birth and the need to attend to his child. It took an extraordinary effort to even open is eyes and focus on the disturbance. Sigrid fussed against his chest, wriggling around with her eyes squeezed shut tight. Loki tried lifting an arm, but it was like his arms were made of lead, unable to be lifted more than a few inches before falling back down. He cursed his woozy mind and traitorous body, hating his inability to care for his child when she needed him the most. Something ugly curled in his stomach, leaving the taste of bile in his throat. 

He would be a good parent to Sigrid, far better than Laufey had ever been. But how could he achieve this when he could barely keep his eyes open?

Sigrid shifted in Loki’s trembling arms; she was being lifted. Loki made a choked sound in distress, a disgruntled cry at whoever dared to lift his baby girl away from his bosom. A strong hand replaced his daughter, gently moving aside Loki’s robe to expose his chest. Panic surged through his veins, but he was trapped in his cage of a body, unable to react despite how loud his mind screamed. Only when the same gentle hands replaced Sigrid to nurse did Loki calm himself.

And like that, mother and daughter placated, Loki drifted off again.

\--

When Loki woke next, sunlight blinded his eyes. He groaned, turning his head to shield himself from the onslaught of sunshine until his vision could adjust.

“You’re awake.”

Thor. That was enough incentive to turn his head again, peering at his husband through squinted eyes. Thor sat on a chair beside Loki, and not even the exhaustion etched on his face could dim the glow to his smile and eyes. Cuddled to his chest was Sigrid, all bundled up. She looked so tiny in his large hands, Loki could not help but to smile at the sight.

“How long have I been out?” he asked.

“Quite some time. The sun has long since reached its peak,” Thor said. He glanced down at Sigrid, then back to Loki with a sheepish grin. “She started to fuss and you showed no sign of waking.”

Loki started to shake his head, halting when it made the room start to spin. “Thor, she’s your daughter too. You do not have to apologize for holding her.”

Thor made a soft, amused sound. “I know. But you held onto her so tightly, even when you slept. I feared you would panic when you woke without her.”

A fair point, Loki conceded. Even now, his arms felt empty without her in them, but he was not so selfish to deny Thor his time with Sigrid. So Loki simply murmured an agreement and slowly rose, wincing at the rush to his head and the pain in his limbs. 

“Loki, you shouldn’t move! You might jostle your wound,” Thor said, brows knitted in concern.

Once managing to sit himself up properly, Loki exhaled a heavy breath, bracing himself with his arms. “I’m fine.”

As proof, he placed his weight on his left arm and used the other to push his robes aside, revealing his abdomen. A pale blue scar ran across his skin, still a little puffy from being fresh, but quite closed. “See? The healing spell I used aided my quick healing.”

“It could not prevent the scarring?”

Loki turned a hard look on Thor. “No. Jotun wear their birthing scars with pride. It’s a testament of strength.”

“I see,” Thor said, an apology hidden in those words to mollify Loki’s thorny glare. And like that, Loki relaxed again, the tension slipping away from his features.

“My strength will return by dawn tomorrow, but I am safe to rise and move regularly now,” Loki said, thankful the lead, lucid feeling no longer plagued him.

“That is good to hear. We have been awarded privacy for now, but it will not last,” Thor said, fingers brushing across Sigrid’s tufts of hair. “There are meetings to be had, viewings to arrange, policies to discuss –“

Loki groaned, head tipping back. “Thanks for the reminder. Any word on when we can expect everyone?”

“Aye. A messenger came earlier while you slept. The Council wishes to meet us in the morning.”

With a grumble in acceptance, Loki lifted his head and sent Thor a tired look. “Alright. That’s sufficient enough time to prepare and settle, starting with a bath.”

“I will buy you as much time as possible,” Thor said.

Loki hummed his thanks as he watched Thor rise from the chair, each movement slow and calculated to lessen any potential jostling of their sleeping daughter. Slowly but surely, he came to sit beside Loki on his makeshift cot. They leaned into each other, heads pressing together as they bathed in each other’s presence and peered down at their child. Warmth rushed through Loki, comforted by the serenity of the moment and the love of his family. 

They stayed like that for a long while, silent and tranquil. For that moment, nothing else mattered but their little world.

\--

Reality interrupted the cozy moment, and it was with great despondence that Loki pulled away from his family in order to tend to himself. Not feeling comfortable with handing Sigrid off to anyone else for now, Thor cared for her as Loki took care of his own needs. Rising proved to be a challenge in and of itself; even if his magic closed the wound, labor left his body sore and aching, muscles tense from the trauma to his body. He waddled more than walked to the baths, hand supporting his stomach out of instinct. The first touch of water had him shivering and sighing in relief.

He bathed without hurry, allowing himself some well-overdue pampering; fine soap and oil cleansed and perfumed his skin and hair, the latter of which had become knotted during the birth. Special care was given when washing his stomach, trembling fingers thoughtfully caressing the jagged scar. Incisions tended to be one clean, even kiss of the blade, but that was not so with his. The line twisted and curved in some places, a result of his and Thor's hands not moving in complete unison, jittery with nerves. Should other Jotun see it, they would remark that it was the result of an unskilled, nervous father, unable to properly cut into the mother. But Loki cared not of the lack of finesse, nor would he heed any who belittled the nature of Sigrid's birth. As in many things, he and Thor did this together, and that's all that mattered to him.

By the time Loki dried himself off and dressed in finer robes, hushed, feminine voices coming from the chamber reached his ears. Alarmed, he hurried out, damp, uncombed hair sticking to his face as he threw the door open, demands readied on his lips. Four healers crowded near the bed, half of which glanced up at Loki upon his flustered arrival and offered him reassuring smiles. 

"Good evening, Your Highness," one greeted, her soft smile bringing crinkles to her eyes.

Thor stood beside the small congregation, shooting Loki a reassuring smile.

"They are here to assess Sigrid's health," Thor said. Loki's gaze darted to the healers again in silent question. One, an old woman with gray hair and warm, brown eyes, nodded in agreement.

"Your daughter is strong, Your Highness. We detect no problems. Still, we will check her again in the morning. Please alert us if you notice any changes or causes of concern,” she said, her voice kind but firm. 

“Of course,” Loki said coolly.

The healers finished their work and handed off Sigrid to Thor, who accepted the softly cooing bundle with a smile. With a bow and soft words of congratulations, the healers took their leave. The moment the door closed, Loki crossed the room to stand beside Thor, eyes never leaving their daughter. He caressed the top of her head with two fingers, exhaling a soft sound when Sigrid wriggled at the touch. As if sensing Loki’s need to hold her, Thor handed her off carefully, and Loki held her close to her chest.

“You fret still,” Thor said. Not an accusation, but an observation that left Loki momentarily stunned, gaze flitting up to Thor’s calm blue eyes. Sometimes Loki underestimated Thor’s ability to read him so well, which always left him feeling hesitant; Thor deserved better and more credit than that.

“Your healers are accustomed to analyzing the health of Æsir, not Jotun,” Loki replied, choosing his words carefully. “I trust their judgment, but I hope I put my trust in the right place.”

An arm around his waist drew him into Thor, who held onto him with a sure hand. “You do. Our healers are some of the wisest in all the realms. You have no reason to fear.”

Loki sniffed, leaning into Thor’s strong, warm body. “I’m a new mother. I’m supposed to worry.”

Thor chuckled, a low rumble that Loki felt more than heard. “Well, then allow me to help you worry less.”

Clutching Sigrid close, Loki leaned his head against Thor’s shoulder, eyes closing with a sigh. “I would like that.”

\--

The night went by in a flash. Still worn out, Loki fell asleep early that evening and slept hard – when he wasn’t waking up to feed Sigrid. She cried out for food every other hour or so, and each time, Thor woke up to bring Sigrid over to Loki so he would not have to risk too much movement. And each time, Thor took Sigrid back to bed before collapsing next to Loki to catch some more sleep. He never complained, never said a word in negativity; he seemed to delight in it, if anything.

Morning came all too fast. The knowledge about the meeting ahead superseded his sleepiness, and Loki woke early to feed Sigrid and prepare for the day. Thor was right behind him, and together they bustled about almost wordlessly, both getting into the business mindset. Loki knew the main reason behind the meeting would be to discuss the royal announcement, but even though it sounded so simple, Loki found himself dreading the meeting, perhaps more than others in the past. If the ignorant men had been so scathing toward Loki and Sigrid before she was even born, he did not want to see how they would act now. But Loki would not shy away; he would face the problem head-on, as he always did.

The healers arrived promptly, and Loki watched with a keen eye as they checked Sigrid again, their hands roving over her body and above it, as if they could determine her health by simply feeling her aura; perhaps they could. Loki made a note to ask Thor about their practices later. The healers gave their nod of approval and left just as the guards arrived.  
Six guards escorted the little royal family to the court early that morning, ensuring their safety and privacy. Still, Loki held a protective hand to Sigrid’s head the whole way, keeping he tucked away from view. She slept the whole way, only briefly waking when the court door was opened with that slow, heavy sound Loki came to resent. 

The members of the court stood in respect as Thor and Loki filed in, and Loki’s gaze roved around the room, trying to feel out the general mood and atmosphere. Many wore their typical stony expressions with the faintest hint of disapproval, but Loki was pleasantly surprised to see a fair few look genuinely curious, some even with smiles on their faces as they leaned in, hoping for a glimpse. Those were the few who seemed to have taken a shine to Loki and his cause, the few who didn’t make his life hell. 

"Good morning," Thor rumbled, his voice echoing off the pristine walls. 

Sigrid squirmed in Loki's hands, waking at her father's voice and the resounding greeting the Council gave in return. Loki brushed his fingers over her head, trying to soothe her as he turned another look over to the men. His eyes met Forseti's distant, contemplative gaze. A smile wound on Loki's face, a challenging curl.

"Good morning indeed," he purred. Forseti did not blink away, simply gave an inclination of his head. A surge of satisfaction swelled in Loki's chest as he took a seat next to Thor, adjusting his hold on Sigrid as he tried to get comfortable. Even though his strength returned, he still found his body aching from time to time, an issue which would probably follow him for the next day or so.

Thor gave a wave of his hand, and the Council dutifully took their seats. Once they appeared settled, Thor spoke again, "We would like to hold a royal announcement for the birth of our daughter, Sigríðr Thordóttir, born at yesterday's dawn, as is customary for the birth of all princes and princesses of Asgard. Loki and I waited for Sigrid to be determined healthy by the healers. They checked her yesterday evening and this morning and did not detect illness in her, nor do we. Therefore, we would like to proceed."

Thor paused long enough to allow for opinions, if any at all. When no one spoke out in disagreement, he continued.

"We would like the presentation ceremony to be tomorrow afternoon," Thor said. "Assuming that is adequate time for the palace to prepare."

Murmurs from the court, silenced only by Forseti's firm words. "And there shall. The cooks and guards will begin preparations immediately."

A bang of his gavel summoned two guards to the court, who lowered themselves to a bow.

"See that preparations for the royal presentation are underway," Forseti ordered. The guards bowed deeper in acknowledgement before turning around, leaving just as swiftly as they came.

"And they know what to do?" Thor asked, a concern Loki shared as well.

Forseti actually chuckled, a sound that came as a surprise to Loki. Good to know the old man actually had a sense of humor beneath his stone-carved face.

"Of course. With all due respect, Your Highness, some here have been around long enough to manage your own royal presentation," Forseti said, a twinkle in his eye.

A few of the court members joined in with soft smiles and laughter, and even Loki managed to smile a little, but only just that, for everything was going too well for him to feel safe. Everyone was being too cooperative. It was too easy, which made Loki fear the worst. 

"The presentation is standard," Forseti said, the faint traces of mirth in his eyes dissipating back to its usual chiseled calm. "Thor will give a concise speech to uplift Asgard and then announce Sigrid as the new princess."

"And heir," Loki added.

The court fell silent, a few members exchanging uncomfortable glances. Loki licked his lips, exhaling a slow breath and counting to three. Ah. There was the bombshell he had been expecting. He stole a glance at Thor, whose expression had hardened. Had Thor known about this? There was no guilt nor acceptance in Thor's eyes, so Loki was willing to bet that Thor either did not know, or knew but did not expect resistance to the rules being changed. Loki did not think to talk to Thor about this possibility, and he wished he had. 

"And I take it you have a problem with this," Loki said, unable to keep the ice out of his tone.

"Your Highness," Forseti said wearily, almost like a sigh, "only males can be heir to the throne in Asgard. Surely you must have known this."

"Well surely _I_ was not expecting you all to continue on with such a foolish rule. Sigrid is first-born, and she has every right to the throne," Loki snapped.

The men grumbled amongst themselves, and Loki could catch a few words. Too radical. Unnecessary. Each word intensified the storm building inside of him.

Forseti turned away from Loki, looking instead to Thor. "I know you are aware of this, My King."

"I am, but I disagree with it," Thor said.

Silence again as many men openly gawked at Thor, clearly not expecting him to side against them. Loki sat up taller, proud to be beside his husband on this.

Leaning back in his seat, Forseti sighed, a gravely sound. "My King, this is the way it has always been."

"That doesn't mean it cannot be changed," Thor said, heat in his voice. "I will not allow my daughter to be demeaned so. If Loki and I desire for her to be heir, then it shall be so, with or without your consent."

It took all of Loki's self-control not to whip his head to the side and gawk at Thor like the rest of the gaping fools. Not once during his rule had Thor thrown his power around like he was now, and Loki wasn't sure if he was enthralled or wary about this change. Judging by the startled expressions on the face of the councilmen, Loki had the feeling that this was not customary behavior for an Asgardian King. Because if it had been customary, Loki could have accomplished all he wanted to without even worrying about whether or not the Council liked it. But though Loki was still learning the ropes of Asgardian politics, he knew that to breach the advice of the Council was unseemly and taboo. The Asgardian Kings were _supposed_ to follow the words of their Council, or at least pay them some attention, lest they seem unreasonable and mad.

Forseti said nothing at first, just leveled a long, hard look on Thor, which was readily returned. When he spoke again, it was with the utmost cautionary tone, "You would go against the word of the Council? Your Highness, you would stab yourself with your own dagger by doing so."

Out of the corner of his eye, Loki could see Thor grow tense beside him. He didn't like that shift in mood.

Forseti pressed on, "Do not mistake me. I do not deny you out of prejudice to your daughter, but because I know this will not be received favorably, especially if word spreads you did this without our approval. Asgard is not ready for this change - and if they learn we did not consent? Their suspicions and doubts will grow. You must trust us on this."

Voices rang out in agreement. 

"It is far too soon for a woman to be an heir."

"It's always been men!"

"A princess as heir? Not in my time."

"No one would take her seriously. You'd do her a disservice."

So many outcries. Loki continued to seethe.

“Enough!” Thor demanded. The voices dimmed to a silence.

"I humbly ask you to heed our warning, My King and Queen," Forseti said at last.

"Or what?" Loki said, voice nearly a snarl. "You are an advisory council. We listened to your advice, didn't like it, and are free to ignore it as we see fit."

Forseti turned to Loki slowly, face grim. Loki kept his face hard and resolute as their eyes clashed in another heavy stare.

"My Queen, do you truly think it so simple? That there will be no consequences?" Forseti said, and all eyes turned back to the royal couple. Loki wanted to steal a glance to Thor to see how he reacted to this, but he did not dare look away from Forseti.

"They, if any, will be handled accordingly," Loki said. "If I may say, the Council has been so willing to work with us on many issues regarding women in the past. Why so obstinate with this one?"

For all of his hesitancy, no anger showed upon Forseti's grizzled face; just an old, quiet tiredness. "Because this would break one of the most traditional, revered laws of Asgard. And considering several in Asgard barely tolerate the current changes, I see this as too dramatic a change, too fast. The majority would not accept her as the true, rightful heir - not yet. Perhaps one day in the future we can reconsider."

This time Loki did steal a glance at Thor, and the uncertainty in his face made Loki's stomach drop. Was he having second thoughts? 

"Then they will have to learn," Loki murmured, turning back to Forseti, "and expand their minds. She will not be Queen until hundreds of years time, the Norn be willing. They have plenty of time to wrap their skulls around it. And there will be those who support her and our decision, if you just allow the chance."

“I agree,” Thor said, and oh thank the gods, Thor was still on his side. “I do think it will cause a stir, but I will not allow my daughter to be denied that which she deserves just because some men are uncomfortable with the idea of her being heir.”

A few men in the Council mumbled their discontent, though Loki saw one or two slowly nod their heads in agreement. Forseti's expression nearly appeared sad, as if the next words hurt him to say. "I fear what will happen in Asgard, and to you and your family should you continue forth. The Court will not give a formal endorsement, but if you truly wish to name her heir tomorrow, then so it shall be."

It wasn't a victory in the truest sense, but Loki could tell this hesitant acceptance was the best he would get right now. And when he heard several men start to cry out against Forseti's decision, he knew he was lucky to at least have the tentative support of the God of Justice and Peace. It was better than nothing; Loki would have to work on winning them and the Asgardian people over.

Loki did not linger for the rest of the meeting, excusing himself (and a waking, fussy Sigrid) away without much more than a goodbye. 

\--

Thor returned to the chambers an hour later, his expression unreadable as he shucked off his cape. Loki sat upon their bed, Sigrid clutched close and drifting off to sleep after nursing.

“Do you have regrets?” Loki asked. Though Thor sided with him, Loki felt uneasy about the way Thor grew tense and uneasy when Forseti gave his warnings. Thor exhaled an audible breath as he sat down beside Loki, looking upon Sigrid’s sleepy little face.

“No. We did what was right. Even so, Forseti did not lie. Asgardians value the Council for their advice, and a King who disregards the Council over and over, or on important matters, is to be wary of. In the past, some Kings made foolish choices, going against their Council’s advice and leading Asgard to ruin,” Thor explained. He reached out toward Sigrid, a question in his eyes. Loki relented, handing off the sleeping baby to Thor’s large, careful hands. The way his whole face lit up when holding her was just too precious.

“And that is why we’re not just enacting the changes on our own, everyone else be damned?” Loki asked. Sigrid gurgled and lifted one tiny hand, which she curled around one of Thor’s fingers. 

“Aye,” Thor said, bursting into another smile. “We need to win the Council over. If we enact changes that they don’t agree with time and time again, we risk an uprising.”

“A delicate game we play,” Loki sighed, leaning back on the bed.

They lapsed into silence. Loki watched Thor wiggle the finger that Sigrid held onto, seemingly in awe at how tiny she was in his arms, his smile widening at the sight. Heart thumping hard, Loki thought of Forseti’s warning and Thor’s talk of potential violence. 

“If anyone gives us grief, and I mean anyone,” Loki murmured, “they will live to regret it.”

Thor said nothing, just glanced up to Loki with a nod as they settled back in silence. 

\--

The day proved to be hectic and busy, which Loki expected. Thor spent most of his time coordinating with the guards and other palace staff, working on the details of the ceremony. No one invited Loki to help, which he also expected, and for once, he did not make a fuss about it. He had his own work to do. Loki spent most of his day tending to Sigrid, bonding with her and caring for her in every way he could. Only when the sun began to set and she started to drift off to sleep did he pad away from the main area of the palace, seeking out his only true friend in Asgard, aside from Thor.

Sif opened her door at Loki’s knock, eyes widening as she peered at the sleeping bundle of Sigrid. Loki may or may not have stood up straighter with his chest puffed out, every bit the proud mother hen.

“Your Highness,” Sif greeted with a bow, stepping aside so Loki could enter. “Is everything alright? I would have thought you would be busy today, with the ceremony in less than a day’s time.”

Loki sniffed, seating himself on one of Sif’s chairs in the main room. “As if they would ever want me to help plan. But that is no matter.”

Sif stood beside Loki, her eyes on Sigrid. Loki tilted his head, a knowing smile playing on his lips.

“Would you like to hold her?” he asked, and the startled expression Sif gave nearly made him break into laughter.

“If you would allow me, Your Highness,” Sif said, barely concealing a hopeful tone.

“Of course. I trust you with my life, Sif, and the same with my daughter,” Loki said. Transferring Sigrid to Sif’s hands awoke the babe, who woke with a fuss.

“Meet Sigrid,” Loki said as Sif cradled her, a warm smile on her face. Sigrid’s unhappy cries died down as Sif held onto her, until she was asleep once more.

“She is beautiful,” Sif said, keeping her tone quiet.

“Thank you.”

His eyes narrowed, expression hardening. “I meant what I said, Sif. I do trust you with both of our lives. It is why I am here.”

Sif looked up, a flash of wariness in her eyes. Loki held up a hand to assuage the flash of fear.

“We are in no danger. However, I will let you in on a little secret. Tomorrow, Thor will announce Sigrid as heir to the throne.”

Sif breathed a gasp, mouth parting in shock. Her lips curled into a disbelieving smile, her head shaking. “You… And the Council accepts it?”

Loki heaved a sigh as he leaned back in the chair, arms crossing over his chest. “No, not really. They fear Asgard is not ready for this change, and that some will never accept Sigrid as heir. Which is why I wanted to speak with you before the ceremony tomorrow.”

He leaned forward, eyes never leaving Sif’s face. “I need to know that, if things do not go as planned, if people rise up and something should happen to Thor or me, that I can count on you to protect her.”

With a shaky exhale, Sif nodded her head. “You have my word.”

Loki smiled, but it did not meet his eyes. “I am glad.”

\--

Loki barely slept the following night, and it had little do with Sif’s nightly feedings. Dread left him moody and on edge, refusing to speak to anyone other than Thor, and even then, it was curt and quick. Though Thor wore his regal expression well in the face of others, Loki could see the hardness in his eyes, the way his body grew tenser with each passing hour. 

For all of his growing apprehension, Loki did not once think of asking Thor to change their plan. They were doing the right thing. Sigrid deserved this. He was doing this for her, and for all other future first-born girls of the royal families. Asgard needed to see that if they were going to respect women and give Queens power, they had to allow girls to be heirs too.

Loki had little time to think of anything as servants and guards alike bustled him around, making sure he was prepared for the presentation. It would take place on the largest balcony of the palace, he was told, the one that overlooked the outside court where the Asgardians would gather to get their first glimpse of the newborn princess. Loki could hear the crowd as he was escorted to the balcony room, where Thor already was, pacing in front of the door to the balcony.

Standing by his husband’s side, Loki leaned against Thor for support, Sigrid snuggled between the two of them. Thor’s lips brushed Loki’s forehead in a soft, quick kiss.

“Everything will be alright,” Thor whispered. Loki barely managed a nod as he forced a plastic smile on his face.

“Shall we?”

The guards gave their approval, and together they strolled through the doors. Sunlight splashed on Loki’s face, and he immediately squinted his eyes as he peered down at the crowd. There had to be hundreds, if not thousands, of individuals gathered, all shrieking and cheering for the royal couple. With his hands full of a squirming, upset baby, Loki did nothing more than smile at the crowd as Thor waved and began addressing them.

“Asgard! How mighty you stand today, gathered as one!”

Uproarious yells and cheers. Sigrid screeched. Loki couldn’t blame her. 

“We thank you for your attendance today. The Norns have blessed our family, and continue to bless Asgard with wealth and prosperity. Loki and I are pleased to announce that two days ago, Loki gave birth to a daughter, Sigríðr Thordóttir.”

Dutifully, Loki lifted up Sigrid, which he thought was a pointless thing to do, as it only served to upset Sigrid more; besides, it’s not as if anyone down there could truly get a good look at her. But he did it all the same, as much as it made his heart break to feel her squirm in discontent.

“We also want to announce that she is to be heir to the throne.”

Loki brought Sigrid back down, clutching her close as the crowd broke out with mixed reactions. Some cheered, much to Loki’s relief, but Loki could hear the angry shouts, the disbelief. The voices mixed together, a whirlwind of sound Loki wanted to escape from immediately.

“From this day forth,” Thor boomed, voice carrying over the crowd. “First-borns of any gender may be heir, revoking the previous, discriminatory law.”

A rush of cheering, but a deep, grumbling angry tone could be heard beneath the euphoria.

“We will spend this day in celebration and feast, in honor of Sigrid. We ask all of Asgard to join us on this wondrous day.”

A little more smiling and waving, and then the guards escorted the couple away so some of the servants could address the crowd about what kinds of events would happen for the rest of the day. Sigrid settled once away from the crowd, cooing quietly against Loki’s chest as he shot Thor a look.

“Some did seem to be in favor,” he remarked as they walked back to their chambers, guards on all sides. “More than I was expecting.”

“Yes,” Thor said. “It is a good sign. I could hear the outrage from some, but it was overwhelmed by the positive voices.”

“Indeed,” Loki said as they reached their chambers. “Let us hope it will stay that way.”

After a quick change of clothes, Thor was back in the public eye, meeting with various Asgardians. Given a reprieve from the lime light for now, Loki stayed close to his chambers with Sigrid until sunset and the feast was ready. Surrounded by an entourage of guards, Loki and Sigrid entered the large room just as everyone started digging into the food and ale, their voices loud and joyful. Many looked up and cheered when Loki entered, and he gave them his best, flattering smile as he weaved through the crowd to reach Thor’s side. Thor beamed at Loki, pressing a kiss to his cheek and sending the crowd hollering.

Once seated for the feast (which Loki was hardly interested in at the moment), his eyes turned across the table, meeting Lady Sif’s gaze. Her lips twitched in a smile as she raised her glass to him with a tilt of her head, as if to say ‘that could have been worse’. Loki tipped his own glass to her, smile genuine for the first time this evening.

Loki stayed long enough to play the role of delightful host before excusing himself to take Sigrid to bed. The guards followed him all the way to the chambers before he shooed them away, seeking desperately needed privacy. Placing the sleeping child in her crib, Loki brushed his fingers across her soft, blonde hair.

“Let us hope,” he whispered.

\--

He woke to clattering and shouting.

At first, he thought it was Thor coming back to bed after a night of drunken revelry, but when he saw Thor beside him in bed, scrambling up, fear gripped Loki’s heart. The smell of smoke hung in the air, stinging his eyes as he rushed to get out of bed.

“Thor –“ Loki started, coughing as another wave of smoke hit his lungs. He needed to get up, needed to get to Sigrid, oh gods, _Sigrid_ – 

A servant burst through the chambers, his eyes wild and breath heavy.

“Your Highness,” he wheezed, “it’s the palace. Men are attacking the palace.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fought me tooth and nail the entire way, ughhh. I'm still not particularly pleased with it, but it's been more than three months since I updated, so I thought I might as well post it. Hope it's okay, everyone, and I love you all! <3
> 
> Also **warning** : semi-graphic descriptions of violence.

Loki grew up in war.

He did not remember the details, being far too young to understand the situation at hand. But when he was older – old enough to notice the distant look in his mother’s eyes when they passed the graveyard and the sound of her weeping late at night for relatives Loki would never know – he tugged on her dress with his pudgy hands and asked what war was like. Shadows of the past clouded her eyes as she took the wide-eyed toddler in her arms.

“Oh, my son,” she murmured into his hair. Loki heard the whispers of ghosts in her voice, soft and distant.

“May you never live to see its terror.”

\--

King and Queen sprang out of bed the moment the ominous words left the servant’s lips. Thor threw on clothes and lifted a hand to summon Mjolnir, but Loki had no thoughts of donning his royal robes; his mind swirled with only thoughts of Sigrid, of _mybabymybaby_. He tore away from the bed, bare feet slapping the ground as he hurried to the nursery connected to their chambers. The walls trembled from the force of another hit, and Loki squinted with a hiss as a shower of dust rained upon his face, obscuring his vision. Stomach twisted as he imagined the ceiling giving underneath the powerful attacks, slabs of stone falling and crushing the nursery, no, _no_ –

Sigrid’s squalls guided Loki through the hazy darkness. Shaking hands gripped for the side of the crib, tears prickling his eyes from the smoke. Only when he blinked them away did he see his daughter, wriggling about in her bed and crying for all of her worth; aside from being covered in a light blanket of dust, Loki saw no injuries, no tell-tale sheen of blood to cause alarm. Loki lifted the bundled infant to his chest, muttering soft, mindless words of assurance to her. They would be okay. They were destined for far more than to die of asphyxiation on this eve.

He bustled out of the nursery so fast he nearly ran into Thor, who barked out orders to the guards: summon their forces, divide them between inside the palace and outside, find the culprits, and to capture or destroy them with haste. Their gazes met in the dark; Thor’s eyes, usually the color of the tranquil sky, held the uncontrolled ferocity of the ocean during a storm.

“Guards will take you and Sigrid to a bunker,” Thor said, voice barely audible over the chaotic voices of the guards and constant booming outside. “You must stay there until this is over.”

“No! I won’t let you fight this alone,” Loki said, grip on Sigrid tightening.

Another crash outside the palace, another pained howl. Thor grabbed onto Loki’s shoulder hard enough to hurt, but Loki found himself unable to flinch, too distracted by the fear in Thor’s eyes. 

“They’ll be coming for you and her, and you need to protect her. You’re her best protection, should everyone else fail,” Thor said.

Protests curled on Loki’s tongue, but died as four guards surrounded him, urging him forward with quick, snappish words. Loki sent Thor a final glance over his shoulder, eyes wide and wild. Thor was already moving down the opposite side of the hallway, surrounded by numerous guards.

“Go!” Thor said, and he too disappeared in a sea of guards. 

With every second precious, the guards wasted no time leading Loki down the hallway at a quick pace, the only sound in their group coming from the crying Sigrid. He conjured a suit of armor upon his body as they walked. It was weaker than his physical sets, but far more protective than his dressing robe, which was important; he was protecting more than himself, after all. Yells and pained cries filled the air around them, and Loki forced his expression to remain calm, even when he caught sight of a splash of crimson on the walls. Now was not the time for weakness. He had to be strong, for his daughter and for Asgard.

The bunker was little more than a small room tucked away in a central corner of the palace. The walls were thicker and heavier than the rest of the palace, which the guards assured Loki meant they would stand tall even if the rest of Asgard fell. Stepping into the cramped, damp, furniture-less room, Loki was not all that reassured. But he said nothing as the guards stood outside, closing the door halfway.

"We will protect you with our lives, Your Highness."

The heavy door closed with a slam, sealing Loki and Sigrid inside. Without windows, the only light filtered in through the crack at the bottom of the door, which Loki used to guide him to one of the stony walls in the back corner. He leaned against it with a shuddering breath. The jutting, uneven stones on the wall dug into his back, but he didn't care about the pain enough to try to find a more comfortable position. Sigrid fussed in his arms, refusing to be soothed no matter how many soft words Loki whispered against her blonde tufts.

He hated this. His kingdom stood under attack, and he was forced to stay cooped up like a rat in a cage as his husband and others risked their lives. He should be out there, fighting beside them; his place was not here. Only thoughts of his daughter kept Loki from breaking out, for he knew Thor was right. There was no one in the palace who could keep her safe like Loki could, nor could he trust anyone else. For the palace to be compromised so easily implied that there was someone from within acting as a traitorous spy, at least from Loki's guess. In his eyes, any person in the palace could be a potential threat to Sigrid, and he could not gamble with her life so carelessly.

Another explosion rocked the palace, sending vibrations curling up his spine. Sigrid gurgled her discontent, tiny fists pressing into his dark armor. Looking down at the child in his arms, Loki’s heart stung in guilt. Was this how his mother felt so long ago? Surrounded by chaotic calamities and desperately holding onto her newborn, knowing she was powerless to spare her child from this terrible fate? He peered down at Sigrid, with her scrunched up nose and closed eyes, and sent a silent prayer for her to forgive him when she was older and asked why shadows crossed his face, just as his own mother’s did so many years ago.

A wet, gurgling cry resounded from beyond the palace walls followed by a roar of thunder, and Loki could take it no longer. He had to _see_.

The lack of windows in the room did not dishearten Loki from this desire. Instead, he shifted Sigrid into one arm and turned to face the wall opposite of the door, which he hoped faced outside the palace. Lifting his free arm up, he splayed his fingers and focused magical energy toward his palm. The wall before him shuddered and rippled like disturbed water, the stone turning pliant beneath his control. Creating see-through barriers never used to be a problem for him, but since he was still recovering his energy and the stone was so thick, Loki found himself struggling. Sweat beaded his brow as he clenched his fingers, willing the stone to morph into something that he could see through without being seen in return. The grey stone faded in color, turning paler until it neared the color and consistency of fog, and only then could Loki get a glimpse of the outside world and –

Horror.

Guards everywhere, clashing with armored men, driving their swords and spears into flesh and painting the floor red. Through the mist of the weak mirror, he could not tell which side was winning, only that several funeral ships would have to be built by the time this was over; Valhalla would not be empty on this night.

A flash of auburn caught his eye, another man attacking the enemy. Wait. Not a man. The mirror weakened when Loki realized that fighter was no man, but Brynja, the gentle, strong woman with two young children of her own, wielding a sword against one of the enemies. Loki tightened his control over the mirror, granting him with a little more clarity as he watched her strike the man’s arm only for another to grab onto her behind, and no, this couldn’t be happening. Another woman – Sif! - lunged herself at the attacking male, but the mirror fogged up again, denying him the result of that skirmish.

“No,” he whispered, the word spilling out unbidden, tasting of bile. The women were fighting, taking arms with their brothers and husbands, and while Loki felt a surge of pride, he mostly felt sick. What would he tell Brynja’s daughter, the one who looked just like her mother, if Brynja lost her life on this night?

_Your mother died doing what I could not. Forgive me._

His hand trembled, and the mirror distorted from the upset. Sigrid squirmed against Loki’s hold on her as if sensing his discomfort. Had the mirror been real, Loki would have shattered it without a second thought.

Right when he was going to drop his hand and stop the spell, the mirror flooded with a flash of light. Another roll of thunder. Hands shaking, Loki stepped closer for a better look. The light flashed again, this time tearing into the rock and some of the enemy men, causing them to howl and their bodies to spasm. Lightning. Thor. Loki watched with bated breath as Thor surged forward, face contorted in an ugly snarl as he slammed Mjolnir into the back of a man, who crashed to the ground with a splutter. Mjolnir pounded into the ground with one heavy swing, sending jolts of electricity across the pools of blood and onto fallen men. It was the most macabre and powerful thing Loki had ever seen. Thor fought with the brutality and surety of a King, every muscle employed in defending his kingdom. It would have been a beautiful event to watch, had the circumstance been different. Loki had never seen Thor fight before, not for something that truly counted, and he could not look away from the dazzling display of brawn. Thor did not hesitate to launch himself into the heart of battle, hitting each foe and sending a shower of sparks in his wake. Even Sigrid settled in Loki’s arm, as if the sound of her father’s lightning storm was nothing more than a soothing lullaby.

Footsteps pounded outside the bunker door, and Loki whipped around, the mirror disappearing with the drop of his hand. Men approached, judging by the clumsy clomps of boots. How many? At least four, if he counted the steps right. Loki shifted Sigrid back into both of his arms, lips brushing her brow as his eyes never left the door. The men were coming closer; one guard demanded that they hold their ground, and Loki hunched into the corner of the room, scarcely daring to breathe. The intruders had to know that Loki and Sigrid sought shelter here. Who else would require so many guards? 

Shouts resonated through the hallway as the footsteps drew closer, mingling in with the sound of metal being unsheathed. The clamor rose as the footsteps all but halted and the clang of metal and growls of effort filled the air – the beginning of battle. One man made a choked sound before falling to the ground. Another scream, another thud and clang of a dropped weapon. How many guards were protecting the door again? He could not discern which of the fallen were guards and which were the enemies, but with each thud of a body and each last gasp of breath, Loki’s anxiety heightened.

A final thud, and all fell silent. Loki stared at the door like he would die if he looked away. He strained to hear any give-away sounds, but no, nothing. Sigrid shifted in his arms with a coo. Footsteps started toward the door. Loki closed his eyes with a shaky breath. They were coming.

A heavy thump on the door had Loki backing up until the stone dug into his back, preventing him from moving any farther. The pounding intensified, the door rattling from the intensity of the hits, surely caused by the blunt end of weapons. Loki crouched, covering Sigrid the best he could as he tried to think of a plan. There was nowhere to run. Even if he wanted to blow his way through the wall and make a run for it, he did not have the time to break through such thick stone. Besides, that would position him right at the crossfire, which was what he was hiding from in the first place. His heart pounded so hard he was sure the men outside could hear. There was nowhere to go.

The guards promised Loki they would protect him with their lives, and they upheld their promise to the very end. Now, his fate was in his own hands. 

But Loki did not fall to the floor in defeat as the assailants continue to bash the door, which cracked and splintered. Instead, he shifted Sigrid to one arm again, holding her tightly to his chest as he lifted his other hand, palm facing the door. They were coming, but he was ready for them. 

Knock. Knock. Sigrid fussed, crying against Loki’s chest.

“She’s here,” one of the men said.

Loki’s lips curled. Sigrid was here, but so was he. _Come in, you fools. It’s the last thing you will ever do_.

The door finally broke down, and before the door even fell to the ground, Loki attacked. Frost poured from his palm, coating the floor and doorway in a heavy blanket of ice. He knew he hit his mark to some degree, as he heard cries in pain through the ice shower. Magic paused just long enough for him to survey the situation. Icicles and frost covered the doorway, sharp edges jutting out toward the hallway in a menacing threat. Each heavy breath clouded in front of his face, as he waited to see the men’s next move. Sigrid remained fussy, wiggling about in his arm the best she could. Was she cold? Had she inherited the gene that protected her from the bite of the cold? She did not tremble in his arms or have any other new reaction when the temperature dropped, so he assumed she did, bless her heart.

For a moment, all Loki could hear was his quiet, shuddering breaths, the men having fallen oddly still. Guard never lowered an ounce, magical energy poised in his palm and ready to strike at the first sign of movement. Each second felt like an hour, and his arm trembled from the anticipation.

When the men eventually moved, they advanced in haste. Two men surged into the icicles with a battle cry, and Loki concentrated on the icicles he created, pushing them forward until he heard the sickening sound of crushed bone and agonized screams. Sigrid stirred in his arms, and Loki hated to think that one of her earliest memories could be the sound of death. But if she were to remember, at least she would know that Loki and Asgard did not tolerate such deplorable acts by arrogant men. She would learn what fate befell any who dared threaten her or her family.

From where he stood at the back of the room, he could barely make out the crumpled, bleeding forms of the men impaled on his icicles, still and lifeless. Only when they shifted did Loki take another step back. How could they have survived? Only when he saw looming shadows behind them did he realize; the surviving enemies were pushing the bodies of their fallen comrades out of the way to get to Loki. The ice-ridden bodies were ripped from the wall of icicles, and the ice cracked beneath the boots of the men as they entered the room, no sign of remorse or emotion for their fallen comrades. Loki pressed himself as hard as he could against the wall as he shot another wave of frost at the men. The trio crouched behind their bronze shields, which caused frost to ricochet every which way, coating the room in a layer of frost. Loki’s jaw clenched, his hand shaking as his breath curled in plumes in front of his face. 

“Give us the child and we will spare your life,” demanded one of the men.

Despite the severity of the situation, Loki _laughed_ , a quick, little sound in disbelief. “You are more stupid than I thought – which was a lot, to be honest - if you think I’d ever believe you.”

The men did not advance or lower their shields. Sigrid fussed, cooing quietly into Loki’s chest. Loki could have sworn that the men gripped their spears tighter.

“We will not ask again,” said a second man.

Loki’s nose crinkled in a sneer, his grip tightening on his daughter. “You must all bear quite a death wish. Please, allow me to fulfill it.”

In a blink, he forced another round of ice upon his assailants, forceful enough for them to skid back in a desperate attempt to shield themselves from the onslaught of ice. The ice did not penetrate their armor, but it did stagger them, which left Loki with enough time to create and shoot long, pointed icicles at the men. The ice slammed into their shields and armor, and Loki knew he hit his mark when he saw two of the men stumble to their knees with pained groans.

With a flick of his wrist, he ended their miserable lives with icicles to their throats.

The final man denied Loki the chance to revel in the kill, charging forward with his spear aimed for Loki’s chest – right where Sigrid curled, right over his heart. The man released the spear from his hand, and Loki's quick reflexes had him scrambling to the right of the wall.

White-hot pain seared in his left shoulder, dark blue blood staining the ripped armor. Eyes widened, his mouth opening on a choked gasp. He wasn't fast enough. 

Though his vision swirled from shock, Loki was close enough to the man to see his face. Blue eyes filled with hate, and he bared his yellow teeth in a victorious, shit-eating grin. With a careless, violent twist, he pulled the spear from Loki's shoulder, and Loki was unable to smother a hiss as the spear wrenched and tore at his flesh. 

The next few seconds happened in the blink of an eye. The assailant reared back the blood-coated spear and drove it forward again, once more aiming for Sigrid. Basic instinct drove Loki to encase his left arm in a sword of ice, which he slashed at the spear in a fierce counter. The sound of their weapons slamming into each other was only drowned out by Sigrid's wail. Sword and spear pushed against one another and trembled from the force, neither giving ground no matter how hard each combatant pushed. Loki gritted his teeth as his injured shoulder throbbed, more blood spilling from the wound due to the jarring movement. His vision spun, and seeing double of the man's ugly, snarling smile made Loki push harder. He would die before he let filth touch his daughter; given the situation at hand, that outcome did not seem so unlikely.

With a strangled cry, Loki threw his remaining energy at the man for all he was worth. The man staggered, his spear pushing away from Loki's chest and exposing his own in the process. Seizing the opportunity, Loki lowered his sword and thrust it up as fast and hard as he could. Blood gushed over his hand and arm as the sword plunged into the man's chest, right below his throat. The enemy dropped his spear as he struggled to speak, but only blood poured forth from his open lips as his eyes grew wide and glassy. Loki pushed his sword in deeper, and oh, how Loki reveled in the man's dying gasps.

Loki jerked his arm up, lifting the man off from the ground by several inches. Angry red and shocked blue met as the sword slid in deeper and deeper, centimeter by centimeter, and he leaned in close to hiss, "Say hi to Hel for me."

Loki thrust his arm until he felt the sword grind all the way through the man's body, coating Loki's arm in another stream of blood. With a quick withdraw of his arm, the ice sword slid out of mangled flesh, and the attacker fell to the ground with a thump, blood pooling around his lifeless body. Sharply exhaling, Loki dropped his arm and dismissed the ice sword with a flick of his shaking hand. The slight movement jarred his wound, and he choked on a breath as the pain flooded his system, making his knees buckle. Without the adrenaline of battle to distract him, he felt every ounce of pain, could hear his heart pounding in his ears as time seemed to slow down. The room swirled in colors of ice and gore, spinning faster and faster as he slumped down to the ground, the uneven wall digging into his back on the way down.

How fleeting and bitter this victory tasted.

Sigrid fussed as Loki landed on the ground, his now scratched back leaning against the wall and his legs sprawled in the blood of his enemies. Tucking Sigrid close with one shaking arm, he dropped his free hand to the ground and used the last of his strength to send ice across the floor. When the steady stream of frost reached the door, the ice turned to large, crystal spikes that protruded outwards - the last shield and defense for himself and Sigrid. He lacked the energy to heal his shoulder wound, but as long as he could protect Sigrid, he cared little for his own self-preservation. His body went lax afterwards, eyelids heavy and drooping. The sound of his daughter gurgling was the last thing he heard before darkness engulfed him.

\--

Loki woke to the sound of bellowing and Sigrid crying. Red eyes opened sluggishly, and the way the room seemed to be a swirling mass of concrete and colors made his stomach churn. Even though each labored breath he took felt like a step closer to passing out again, he forced himself to keep his eyes open so he could focus on the source of the yelling. Another attacker? Tired gaze turned to the ice-covered door, and he could just make out a figure on the other side, bashing the ice with a weapon. An intruder, then. With a shuddering breath, Loki held onto Sigrid tighter, shaking fingers brushing her tufts of hair as he braced himself for the attack. Adrenaline provided a brief boost of energy, and Loki tried to force himself onto his shaking legs, not wanting to be sitting if he had to engage in combat once more. If he were to die today, it would not be sitting down and beneath the enemy.

The assailant struck the ice twice more and the fortress of frost gave way. Loki squinted as sharp ice shards flew every which way as he tried to steady himself, Sigrid still wailing against his chest. He stumbled forward, his back hunched as he lifted his free hand, trying to ignore the searing pain in his shoulder to concentrate on what little magic energy he retained. Though he was running on fumes and his vision couldn't focus from the pain and blood loss, he was prepared to fight until the end.

Vision focused just enough to catch a glimpse of the assailant's face, and Loki's hand dropped to his side in shock. Thor. Dirt and blood streaked his cheeks, and Loki didn't know if it was his own blood or that of the enemy's; he didn't want to ask. Dry lips could not form his husband's name, and his legs threaten to give out from relief and pain. Thor crossed the room in quick strides, ignoring the corpses and gore at his feet. 

"Loki," he said, his hands resting on Loki's shoulders in an attempt to steady him. The kind gesture jostled the wound, and Loki reared back with a groan, his back hitting the wall. And like that, the rest of his strength abandoned him. Knees crumpled, and the only thing that that kept him from sliding into a broken heap on the ground was Thor's blood-splattered arm looping around his waist.

"You're hurt," Thor said, and Loki hissed in irritation.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," he retorted, too tired to put any real anger behind his words.

Thor’s expression did not waver in the face of Loki’s sarcasm. Now that they were close, Loki could see the pure relief etched on Thor’s face, the way his eyes softened when looking down at Sigrid. Loki’s frustration dissipated an ounce; he had never seen Thor so worried before, and he felt a stab of guilt for snapping at Thor. Loki gently maneuvered Sigrid to Thor’s arms as an apology, and Thor took the crying infant without hesitation, soothing her with one large hand.

“I saw the fallen guards and feared the worst,” Thor admitted quietly, as if it pained him to say those words. 

Using Thor as a crutch, Loki leaned his head onto Thor’s shoulder with a soft sigh. “Worry no longer. We are safe.”

“But your wound?”

Lifting his head, Loki spared his injured shoulder a quick look. The combination of mangled flesh and dry blood that caked his armor and flesh nearly made him grimace.

“I couldn’t heal it. I used all of my energy fighting and defending,” Loki said.

Thor blinked and looked down at the corpses as if just now realizing he stood in the middle of a bloodbath. He shifted one boot, which squelched from the blood. When he lifted his head again, he wore a tired smile.

“Which you did a fantastic job of, I see,” Thor said, a low rasp to his tone that Loki could not place. Repressed sorrow? For who, Loki or the lost lives?

Lost lives. Judging by Thor’s somber mood, Loki was not the only one to slaughter this night.

That begged another question, and Loki jolted back to life, urgency in his eyes as he looked at Thor. “What happened out there?”

Thor turned to the wall with a heavy stare, as if he could see the bloody courtyard that stood beyond the brick and stone. “Around a dozen invaders were killed, and another three were captured alive. The guards stormed the palace and confirmed that the area is clear. The battle is over.”

Loki could hear the unspoken for tonight. “And the women? I – I used a mirror. I saw the battle. Brynja and Sigrid, they –“

He couldn’t finish the sentence, unable to verbalize his worst fear as he started to sag toward the ground again, his weakened body ransacked with anxiety. Thor struggled to keep a tight clutch on Loki’s waist with one arm while holding onto an unhappy baby.

“They’re alive, Loki, so please, calm yourself,” Thor assured. “Brynja, along with several others, are being treated for injuries.”

Alive. Loki grappled onto Thor with his good arm, blunt nails digging into Thor’s armored back to steady himself. He wanted to let go, to crumple to the floor and have the massive break down he felt impending, but he couldn’t. Not now, not when his people needed him so much. And so Loki forced himself upright, taking his hand off of Thor’s back and pressing it to his injured shoulder. Eyes squeezed shut tight from the pain, and he concentrated his regenerating magic supply onto his wound. A soft, green mist flowed from his shaking fingers to the wound, closing it up most of the way. When he lowered his hand, he was pleased to find it did not hurt as much to move his arm. Attention returned to his husband then, gaze resolute.

“I’m going to see them,” he said, his lips thinning when Thor shook his head.

“Not now, Loki. The healers do not want visitors.”

“Then I’m going to see the captured rebels. They’re in the prisons, are they not?”

Thor hesitated, and Loki took that as an affirmative.

“They will still be there tomorrow. You should rest until morning,” Thor said, and Loki scowled in distaste of that idea.

“While you stay up and take care of everything? Hardly,” he snapped. 

Thor’s face was as unyielding as the stone surrounding them. “Loki, you can barely stand. Rest, if just for a few hours. There will be plenty to do tomorrow, I assure you.”

Loki wanted to ignore Thor’s logic and storm past him to get to work, but his body, shaking still, had no more fight to give. And so Loki growled in acceptance and held his arms out for Sigrid, whom Thor carefully passed to him. Daughter curled against him once more, Loki shuffled his way to the door, Thor beside him and supporting him with an arm.

They wiggled through the ice with little grace, and when Loki stepped past the door, he froze. The fallen guards were sprawled out in front of the door, their blood thick on the floor. Loki thought he heard Thor say his name, but he couldn’t be sure; he couldn’t look away, his wide gaze taking in one guard after another.

It was the last one he saw that made him swallow back bile. His helmet had been knocked off, revealing bloodstained blonde hair and a youthful face, forever frozen in death. Blue, glassy eyes remained open, staring into nothingness, and Loki wanted nothing more than to close them. This young guard, more than a teenager than a man, deserved better than this.

Thor squeezed Loki’s waist, drawing him from his stupor.

“Don’t look, Loki. Don’t look,” Thor murmured as he urged them forward.

Thor led Loki down the hall in silence. Those dead blue eyes seemed to follow Loki all the way down.


End file.
